Denise doing a reading
Today I went to a funeral. I wrote about Denise Butterworth in a post earlier in my blog. It was the day to finalise the fact that she has moved on to a different kind of life. As the people filled the crematorium, until they had to stand outside as well, I thought about the impact this lady has had on so many lives. Before our service there was another funeral taking place. One which was much less well attended. It’s tempting to compare the turn outs of the bereaved at events like this. But that doesn’t always signify how much impact a person has had. It’s when we have to say goodbye that we finally recognise their impact. I’m sure Denise was paying close attention to this afternoon. As a modest person she may well have been surprised by the number of people wanting to say goodbye to her in this life. Of the number of lives she had impacted in a positive way.
It made me think about my impact. One measure is certainly the number of people who attend your funeral. Another might be the grief being experienced by the people who have to say goodbye to you. Yet another might be you in the memories of all the people who have passed through your life but don’t know that you’ve actually gone. However we want to look at it we certainly make an impact on one another. But what kind of impact? That’s a really thorny question. People are like Marmite. You will like some and not be able to stand others. You might acquire a liking for someone if you persevere past your first reaction. Or you might decide that your original reaction was the correct one. I often think that we have become too conditioned to being ‘nice’ at the expense of allowing people to present themselves as they really are. We seem to have forgotten that people who challenge us are reminding us of our current limitations. When it comes to saying goodbye surely it’s the time to be honest about the person who is leaving?
Each person has something to offer to the world. Differences are what makes the world interesting, vibrant and exciting. As we explore the facets of ourselves and others we don’t need to be perfect. We need to be human. One of the best things about Denise was, that having seen a lot of the human race, she still had time for everyone. She didn’t necessarily feel that she had to like everyone but she tried her best to love everyone. She was a very spiritual lady who will live in our memories always. I’m not sure the same would be said of me. And that is the most interesting gift she gave us today. A chance to stop and think about how people might feel if they had to say goodbye to us. What kind of impact have we made? I’m taking my lead from Denise. I’d like to feel that I have had time for everyone and tried my best to love them as unconditionally as possible. I feel I might still have some way to go though! Please take a moment to consider your impact on others. Have you done the best you can to give yourself and them time and space, without judgement, to have a positive effect on each other? Have you been working on that issue of unconditional love? If goodbye had to happen would you grieve for them and would they grieve for you? Remember, you’re not going to be everybody’s cup of tea but you can always try to ensure that your impact is a positive one.
Day 185 of my blogging challenge.
I was walking in a wood filled with bluebells and wild garlic this evening. There was blossom on the trees. I noticed the occasional patch of primroses hidden away amongst the grass. The birds sang and Red Admiral butterflies danced for us. I was happily snapping away with my phone when the battery suddenly died. Twenty minutes later when I plugged it in to charge I got a text message. It was the news that one of my Spiritualist friends had passed away this afternoon. A bright Light had ceased to shine.
You may never of heard of Denise Butterworth. Or had the chance to see her working with her Spirit connections to bring in the messages from loved ones in Spirit. She didn’t pursue fame or notoriety. She would tell you she was an ordinary person yet somehow she had a shine. She was full of Light. She loved her husband and family deeply. She also loved the connection she had with Spirit. Over the years that I have known her she was always working hard. She believed in service to others in her personal, working and mediumship life. She wanted to help. She studied to be the best medium she could be. She was also a gifted trance medium who took nothing for granted and loved to demonstrate this type of mediumship.
At the end of last week I was also thinking about another lady who had just passed away. Irene Callaghan was someone I worked with a number of years ago. We kept in touch over Facebook. Although she didn’t believe in my spiritual path she was a lady who embraced everyone. She worked hard, gave her time generously and had a deep faith. When she lost her husband she continued to demonstrate the love for life that I remember so well. Her Light shone even in that dark time. She was proud of her family and friends and I am sure will be much missed.
Both of these wonderful women will leave big gaps. They had hearts that weren’t afraid to love, strength to keep putting one foot in front of the other every day and the resilience to keep bouncing back. They wanted the people around them to be happy and would work as hard as possible to make that happen. Neither lady was perfect – who is? What they gave was the best of themselves as often as they possibly could. I believe it is in the quiet sacrifices that we come to see a person’s true character. Both made the sacrifices necessary to put others before themselves because of love. Neither would have agreed they were sacrificing anything because they wanted to do their best for everyone.
I am honoured to have known Denise and Irene. They both gave me encouragement when I was very unsure of myself. They both supported me to find a path that was right for me. And they both showed me, by example, how precious the people are who share our life with us. Two lights have gone out on the Earth but two souls shine bright on the other side tonight. Live each moment, love each moment and cherish one another. Nothing else matters.
Day 175 of my blogging challenge.