Daddy’s girl! My Dad has been in the Spirit World ten years today. There are lots of days when I don’t immediately remember that he and Mum are gone.
But at some moment in every day I notice that they aren’t around. It’s like a sort of ‘oh, yes’ in my head when I am on the point of picking up the phone to call them with my problems. Because that’s what I really notice now. There is no back up. I don’t have them as a sounding board when I’m in my stressy head moments. I miss their wisdom. Even if I didn’t always agree with it. It was hard for me to be a Daddy’s girl and then to have to join the tribe of women. Underneath I feel I was always trying to impress my Dad. Even when I needed the influence of my Mum and other women. I do know I pushed hard against my Mum. And equally hard against my Dad. That’s what teenagers do.
As I made that transition from child to adult they gave me space to do it. And were there to help me pick up the pieces afterwards. Yet for the last ten years I have no memories of my Dad. We didn’t have time to make any new ones. He hasn’t seen my child grow up. Or been able to influence her life by his presence. I so wish she could have shared some of the magic I had as Daddy’s girl. Because I am sure she would have become a grandad’s girl too. There is sadness when I think of the missed memories. Yet I also know that he has another life now. He is in the Spirit World with my Mum. They both keep an eye on me and help me when they can. That’s a comfort.
Not quiet as good as being able to sit round the table with them down here. But something Is always better than nothing. I’ll still be Daddy’s girl no matter how old I get. So I’m looking forward to that time, when I eventually return to the Spirit World, were we can make more memories together. Love you Dad ❤️
Day 667 of my blogging challenge