I’ve concluded that I love writing. That might seem obvious after 765 blogs and a book. However, it’s taken me a while to get to the idea that I am a writer. An author.
I’ve just concluded my sixth Inspired 2 Write challenge on Facebook. This year I took the opportunity to see if I could extend or expand my writing. And I decided it would be great to have some company whilst I was doing it. Hence the six groups and various numbers of people joining me to explore their writing voices. It’s been an amazing journey. Some people have been with me on each challenge. Others have done one or two. Each time I launch it I get really excited that I will be reading pieces from lots of different points of view. In fact I find that the time flies by and the end is happening before I know it. I love it so much that I’m usually working our when I can start another one!
Finishing something also brings a little sadness that these wonderful voices might retreat into silence again. I don’t want that to happen. Writing has given me so much throughout my life. Even in the times when my own writing voice was squished or fell silent. Overcoming writers block enough to get through two years of blogging showed me that I really wanted to get the words out into the world. And they empowered me to stand by my writing voice when I wobbled and worried. I feel that the blocking time has been concluded. Now I hope that the people who have been in the challenges will feel empowered to pick up their writing even when there is no ‘official’ challenge.
Knowing that I am concluding a year of lots more writing has also empowered me to make a big leap. A leap into writing nearly full time. So I want to share the my final piece to the group tonight.
” I love that I set these topics without thinking. I’m empowering my creativity to leap out and bite me on the bum. Especially with a request for 300 words! And after a full on day and a church service. I guess I enjoy a challenge. That’s what I have been empowering myself to do. Grab the challenge, manage the fear and enjoy the leap of faith. For a long time I let other people tell me what to do. Or I responded to their expectations. Without realising that I was giving away my power. It seemed to be one of my obsessions that people had to be looked after, be happy and that I must do as much for them as I could. Yet all of the time my needs shrank further and further into the background.
So much so that I become unable to express my needs because it felt like they wouldn’t be listened to. I was sadly in need of empowerment by the time I realised I had nearly burnt myself out with this imbalance.
Taking back my power has been a long, frustrating and uncomfortable journey into myself. But it has taught me how easy it is to strip the power out of other people. Gaslighting, passive/aggressive behaviour, disrespect or undermining language all take their toll over time. I gave away my power in lots of situations because i wanted to be kind to others, not seeing that they weren’t kind to me. But the regaining of power can be done. I have given myself permission to speak as I find. And allowed myself to let other people’s reactions pass me by. I understand that my intentions are good even if other struggle to see that. And I recognise that I have the same right to life as everyone else. So I make no apologies for living life my way. And enjoying doing so.
Empowerment is about what you will let yourself do to recognise your rights as a human being. It brings with it the requirement to have an ethical base to work from. And a heart full of compassion for yourself and others when issues of power, rather than empowerment, crop up.” Challenge concluded!
Day 736 of my blogging challenge