Humbug: Sensing Behind The Masks I Wore

humbugMy Guides often remind me to be my authentic self. Especially when it’s tempting to be one up or down. Or when I stumble across humbug. Either my own. Or the hypocrisy of others.

I know we have all put on masks. We want people to like us or approve of us. So we hide the parts of ourselves that we judge and find wanting. As soon as I started to engage more with my intuition I realised something very important. I could sense very clearly when I was lying to myself. When I had slipped on a mask so that other people would approve of me. Similarly I could also sense the masks of others. Those times when the people around me were talking humbug. For whatever reason. It made me ask my Guides what use my intuition was going to be if all it showed me was that people had masks firmly in place. I was rather surprised by the answer. Identifying my own masks would be easier when other people mirrored them to me.

Because the real issue they wanted me to focus on was my own humbug. Our communications would be stronger if I was my authentic self. So I began the process of taking off my masks one by one. Every time I spotted someone else’s humbug I looked for where that was in me. Each signal or sensing was a gift. Giving me a chance to remove the inauthentic parts of me. Last night, in the middle of the night, dealing with difficult circumstances, I spotted another one. A little part of me that had been hiding. But one that was very powerful in pushing me to complain to myself.  Yet not to actually voice what I wanted to say. A small unauthentic moment. But an important one.

It showed me how quickly I now pick up on my own humbug. That gives me an opportunity to deal with my situations more honestly. Which also helps me resist putting on more masks. I am also comfortable with the masks other people wear. Much as I might wish them to take off their masks I understand that choosing to do so is a process. One that takes time to undertake. Just like the time it has taken me to boost my connections to my Guides.

Day 962 of my blogging challenge

Communicating With Yourself First Opens The Door

communicatingI’ve been thinking about my journey into mediumship today. And how communicating with non-physical beings sort of crept up on me. Bit by bit. Quite a lot of the time I was unaware of one of the ways that the door to their realm could be opened. Instead I seemed to spend quite a lot of my time talking to myself.

Communicating with myself is, of course, something I’ve done all of my life. Billions of thoughts have crossed my mind. Information about feelings and sensations. Plans, dreams, fears and hopes. Worries of all kinds. Discussions of the right and wrong of any action. All of the analysis I have done to find meaning in my life. It’s all been there. It feels like a constant chatter that only switches down when I am asleep. But even in sleep the communication continues. My brain is never really silent. Yet in amongst all of that activity there were also messages and information from my Guides. However it took me a long time to find it because of all the other stuff filling my head.

Communicating with Guides became a lot easier once I started to deal with the chatter in my head. Not by shutting it up. But by listening to it and sorting it out. It’s amazing how many worries I had that were unlikely to happen. How many fears I allowed to run riot and shove me into defensive actions. All sorts of meaning that I had decided mattered to me. So that I was stuck in trying to achieve far too much. I realised that my thoughts were out of balance. Too many should, musts and oughts. A mind full of things to restrict or limit me. And I realised I had been carrying all of these for far too long. So I started to let them go. To deal with them. And to answer myself in positive ways.

Communicating with my deeper self also helped me to make some space to recognise the thoughts that belonged with others. Because there were plenty of these. Judgements, advice, instructions and rules I had taken on. And there, right in the middle of this muddle was the loving, encouraging and supportive energy of my Guides. Waiting to help me open a completely new door. I stepped through, never looking back. Is it time for you to find your new door too?

Day 961 of my blogging challenge

Friday Thirteenth, New Moon, Eclipse: Muddled Energy

Friday approachingTomorrow is Friday Thirteenth. A day when people think of all sorts of bad omens. Or of the movie franchise. However, I love both Friday and the number thirteen.

I was born on a Friday, so as well as reminding me that the weekend is about to start, I enjoy the day of my birth all over again. Though I haven’t always been happy that I’m back being human once again. And I generally find my Fridays are lucky days too. I also enjoy the energy of the number thirteen. That’s because one is the number for new beginnings and three is the number for creativity. So any appearance that thirteen puts in is bound to be about starting something new in the most creative way possible. Funnily enough this time it lands on the New Moon too. The point at which I always send out my required and desired wishes to the Universe. I want my dreams to manifest so asking with the creative and doubled new beginnings energy is bound to bring great results. Only one little hitch to this though.

This Friday the thirteenth there is a partial solar eclipse. Not visible to most of us. But there in the heavens all the same. Slightly muddling up the energy. I find that eclipse energy pulls up my shadow side. Which is always more active in the Dark Moon just prior to it becoming New. So I am ready. Ready to deal with whatever cloudiness I discover within myself. Or is brought to the surface by the events of my life. Because I have a choice in how I deal with my life. I can operate from the optimistic recognition that all parts of me are there for a reason. Or I can block my shadow side and hold onto the negativity it contains. I know it takes more energy to contain than to embrace. And that the best way to deal with this is to be gentle and loving to myself.

So as the sun sets this evening I am ready to float through the next few days. I will have help. One and three add up to four. Four is the number of the Angels. I know they will be supporting me to make the most of this energy and the next move forwards. Have an angel filled Friday Thirteenth!

Day 959 of my blogging challenge 

Setting The Record Straight: Does It Matter?

SettingI know we often make a point about setting the record straight. We all want our version of the truth to be recognised. And that can be complicated when even the facts are in dispute.

I’ve spent a lot of my time helping the underdogs who are hoping that setting the record straight will finally get their injustices acknowledged. But I know as a species we are very good at ignoring anything that we don’t want to see. Or interpreting our actions as a justified response to what the other person or side has done. Or even not done. Because we are also easily influenced by the tittle tattle and gossip spread by other people. Those who have a vested interest in hiding part, or even all, of the truth. And if the outcome is something we desire, if it’s on our agenda, then we are much less likely to want anyone setting the record straight. For a long time I have felt that it mattered. That all of us deserve to be heard. Whether right or wrong.

I believe that only when differences are aired will there be a chance of moving forward. I also know that to do that requires a better way of communicating. It also means I have to be prepared to be open, flexible and prepared to take a different view of things. Yet I have also recognised, with the help of my Guides, that setting the record straight may not always be as important as I think. Or feel. In life sometimes the most important thing is to have the experience. Then move on. I sometimes try to explain that to the people I help. Being heard is important. But not at the expense of the rest of my life. I also know that time and karma have a way of bringing around the right opportunity to be heard. This gives me a different way of dealing with injustice.

Setting the record straight is never an issue for the Guides. They can see the bigger picture. Unlike us they are sure that everything will turn out for the best. For my spiritual evolution. And for the spiritual evolution of all those who have crossed my path. If you are burning to set the record straight think about what it will achieve. Then move forward as if it has been achieved.

Day 958 of my blogging challenge 

Persistence Pays Off: Or A Tale About Stubbornness

persistencePersistence. That’s what I like to call it. When I’m doing readings for people I like to make sure that the information I give is as accurate as possible. It’s one of the things I feel makes a good reading evidential. And I do admit to being tenacious, stubborn, strong willed and dogged when I need to be.

It takes a lot of persistence to get through the doubts, conflicting information and frustration of trying to communicate with beings who are not physically present in this reality. A lot of my progress in communicating came from the discipline of working at it every day. I pestered my Guides for information and explanations. I set up my rules about the way I wanted to work. Then had to redefine them as new experiences took me into adventures I had never dreamed of having. It’s the same about my blog, my book and my art. I’ve been stubborn to the nth degree. Once I set off doing these creative activities I insisted to myself that I would keep going until I reached my goals.

So the persistence makes it very special when I get wonderful feedback. My book is doing well with positive reviews and comments. My blog is nearing the end. It’s been a mammoth task but so many people seem to have benefited. And my artwork is going out into the world and gathering very positive comments. Finally, my readings are something I am particularly proud of. Even I am amazed by the accuracy that the Spirit visitors bring. Insisting to my Guides that I wanted information I couldn’t possibly know has filled these sessions with all sorts of fascinating and truthful bits and pieces. Now I know I can apply that persistence, tenacity, stubbornness and strong will to anything I have to deal with in my life.

I’m proud to claim my persistence. And equally proud to acknowledge my stubbornness. I have come so far from where I started. I have work that I love, creativity all around me and many new adventures waiting for me. Is it time to stick to your dreams, persist and achieve them?

Day 957 of my blogging challenge

Applying The Law – Doing What Is Right

applying the lawI once wanted to be a lawyer. Only because I thought of applying to be a judge. I came into this life with a big sense of fighting for the under dog. Of wanting the rules to be fair. But they aren’t always. So I thought the law would be the answer.

However when I took a closer look I realised that like all man made institutions and structures the law could sometimes be an ass. It relied on people doing the right thing. Also on personal responsibility. And laws that were fair too. That’s a lot of requirements. Most not all that easy to meet. Laws are framed to make the rules by which we all agree to live. But applying the law always comes down to how the facts are interpreted. And the facts can be very different depending on who is stating them. Rather disappointed, because I could see that the law might not be fair to all, I went on to do other things. Still with a burning desire to help the under dog. But rather less faith that those dogs could actually get justice.

Then I started encountering Spirits. And their teaching as channelled through others. My own Guides stepped in to help me understand that applying man made law was one thing. Yet there was also a Universal Law that we are all subject to. That of cause and effect. Or as I often refer to it, what you give out you get back. This really helped me. I realised that in some place and time the underdog would get justice. There was still a case to be made. An argument about the facts to put forward. And an effort to be made to see if justice could be done. I decided to apply myself to doing just that. From time to time I help an underdog. It may mean untangling paperwork. Writing a letter or two. Giving support in the background. Or preparing a case for a hearing.

In every action I load in positive energy. Then I let the outcome go. I ask for the matter to be resolved for the highest good of all. Applying myself to supporting the underdog until it’s all done and dusted. I know that there will eventually be a rebalancing. Justice will come through the karma that is created. And every dog usually does have it’s day.

Day 956 of my blogging challenge

Encourage Young People To Follow Their Dreams

encourageAs a mum I know how important is it to encourage my daughter to follow her dreams. I come from a time and place when people had limited expectations for their work. No one really talked to me about doing what made me happy. They talked to me about earning a good income.

In a couple of conversations today I heard myself raising the topic of doing what makes you happy. Not what makes you rich. Firstly, at my Open Studio event I was visited by a young girl who loved to draw and paint. But she was already worried about going to High School because she couldn’t draw hair. It was lovely to talk to her and her mum. To encourage her to keep doing her work in the way that she liked. And to use painting and drawing as her way to stay happy. Her mum was very much in agreement that she wanted her daughter to be happy. And if painting made her daughter happy then that’s what her mum was encouraging her to do.

A little while later a young American man and his friend wandered in. His friend asked me how to get artwork out into the world. We began a conversation about the young man’s art. She showed me one of his pictures and I found more of them on his Instagram account. His work was wonderful. But he was a little uncertain how to send it out into the world. I knew I had to encourage him to do so. Artwork that touches the heart is a wonderful gift to give to others. And it was clear that painting and drawing made him happy. I was delighted to share some hints with this couple. Because using our talents makes us happy. I know that my painting takes me out of the world for a while. I can work on letting my creativity flow.

In the end, that is the important point. All of the young people on this planet have so much to offer. Their talents and abilities, fired by their creativity and energy, can make this world a much better place. If. If we encourage them to follow their dreams. Take a leap of faith. And do what makes their heart sing. Finally, one of the best ways I know to do that is to do what makes my own heart sing. I have had a tune in my heart all through this Open Studios. What about you?

Day 955 of my blogging challenge

Chatting With Purpose: Open Studio Day One

room for chattingI’ve been doing a lot of chatting today. After a minor wobble when my nerves wanted to get the better of me I opened my front door for the first day of my Open Studios exhibition.

Firstly, being nervous was a surprise. After all I’ve spent a lot of the last twelve years chatting to many, many people. Most of them on behalf of their loved ones in Spirit. But putting my channelled artwork on display seemed to be a very different thing. Making me much more visible for some reason. Perhaps it was the energy art teacher who told me I couldn’t paint? But I thought I had managed to release that. Perhaps it was inviting people into my space? Not something I’ve really done with my home. But I have done with my Centre. Which very much felt like my home. Or was it that big jump off the cliff to actually respect my ability and show the world that I do? So I pegged my paintings out on my washing line.

A call to anyone who wanted to take a look. A sort of ‘I’m here’. Then the rather anxious wait for people to wander in. I had plenty to keep me occupied so the fluttery feelings quickly disappeared. And then I found myself chatting to a lovely couple. My first visitors. Who stayed for more than a brief glance at my paintings. That turned out to be the pattern of my day. Opportunities to chat. About painting, about life, about spirituality. And in between, in the short pauses, a chance for me to do a little more with my paintings. To process the conversations. And to recognise that my artwork was creating talking points. What more could any artist ask for? My paintings got reactions. Prompted exchanges. And made all of us reflect on something.

How wonderful to be able to start the chatting. To have the means to get people opening up about their thoughts and feelings. I love that I have created a space for us to get to know one another a little better. I’m delighted that I was visible today. That the energy of the paintings touched everyone who came in. Because, in the end, life is all about the connections between us.

Day 953 of my blogging challenge

Coming Around Again: What Are Karmic Consequences

tide coming inThe Open Studio is coming around again. So today I have been trying to gather my work and do a whole host of jobs I should have begun about two weeks ago. It made me think about karma. Energy returning and gifting me back what I have given out.

I feel karma is often a challenging idea to understand. We talk about instant karma. That karma will come back and bite us on the bum. That karma will get those who have offended, hurt or mistreated us. All of these based on the idea that what I give out I get back. That my energy will be coming back to me with the results of the consequences of my actions. Yet karma is an idea based on the balance of energy. It’s not all that easy to work out whether the karma from my actions will end up creating a positive or negative ripple. Because there is always the bigger picture. And lots of work for karma agents to do. And I can never be quite sure what aspect of what I have given will be coming back.

If I am a karma agent then I’m doing what I am doing so others get their own energy back. Does that screw up my karma? Not if it’s already a mess from my past lives karma. And what of the karma generated by group, nation and world situations. Is some of that coming back to me? Even if I stay silent, passive, do nothing? The reality is that trying to understand karma is a challenge all of it’s own. That’s why I always pause before i ask for someone to get their karma back. Am I asking for the right reasons? Or is it because I am playing the One Up, One Down game? Am I letting myself of the hook by avoiding taking responsibility for my own actions? So I’ve been coming to a different understanding of the law of karma.

I take action and move through this world with an inner intent. That what I do is the best or greatest good for all of us. I work at making my energy the best and most positive that I can in the full knowledge that I will be sharing it with everyone. And I only ask for karma to be returned where it will do the most good. In effect, that it balances out the consequences of mine and others actions. Tread lightly where karma is concerned. You never know what might be coming back to you.

Day 952 of my blogging challenge

An Inventory Of My Don’ts: Breaking Old Habits

inventoryI know that old patterns die hard. Today I spent a little time taking an inventory of my don’ts. Thos things that will lead me back into old habits. As many things I could think of so I could avoid behaviours that pull me or hold me back.

My Guides always tell me that I an unique. They remind me to see all my life’s experiences as opportunities to help me love me better. However they also recognise that I have been and can be stuck in self defeating behaviours and attitudes. Beliefs that prevent me from making the best of myself. So every now and again they encourage me to make a list, take stock, have an inventory of my don’ts. To remind me what I have stopped doing. And to help me avoid staring doing them again. It also felt important to do this today because I am into the last fifty of my blogs. A record of nearly three years of my life. When I think about my blogs I can see some very clear messages about how to live my life going forward.

When my daily blog no longer provides a space for me to clear my mind before ending my day. I will still have these writings to refer back to. Because I have written through the good days and the not so good ones. Keeping an inventory of the challenges that I worked through. A record of my achievements and prototypes. All of the ways so far that I have explored being a Spirit in a human body. It’s interesting that some of my don’ts have settled in easily. Whilst others have required my constant attention and vigilance. That gives me a lot more to think about. To understand more completely what this blended being is that I call Annie.

I believe that we spend time here to embrace the absence of love. To learn how to recognise and love ourselves as completely as possible. And that enlightenment occurs once we can love our Spirt/Human self in spite of the events that happen to us in this material world. So the dont’s inventory is a great way to make sure I have swapped to loving me enough to be kind to me. Is it time you took inventory too?

Day 951 of my blogging challenge