Sometimes I find myself so full up of words. They are crammed in my throat. I want to release them. That’s when I hope someone will listen.
I know that there have been times when what I wanted to say got stuck. The timing wasn’t right I told myself. What I wanted to say felt too harsh. Or judgemental. I was angry, hurt, upset, frightened. Even feeling that it might be wrong to say the words that rushed forward. Yet if I don’t speak those words what happens? I push them back. Suppress what I want to say. Until the moment when someone else might find those words being aimed at them. With a power that has gathered strength because I’ve worried over those words for some time.
I feel that we live in a world where what we can say has been strictly defined. There are the ‘right’ things to say. And most definitely the ‘wrong’ things. Even if I know what I want to speak is the truth I might hold it back because it’s something I’m not supposed to say. That’s when I find myself feeling really frustrated. Because some of the things I might want to say could be to someone who could be behaving badly towards me. Yet being polite beats being truthful. Also being nice instead of telling it like it is. So I’m left with a jumble of unsayable or unsaid words roaming around in my head. Taking up space. Affecting my energy. Always ready to pop out unexpectedly.
With all of these stuck words I require someone who is willing to listen to them. To let me spew them out into the air. Helping me mop them up and throw them away.
Someone who can listen and not judge. A ‘hearer’ instead of a healer. But who, by the act of listening, can help me to self-heal. That’s why I work as a counsellor and mentor. I know the value of being heard. And why I talk to my Guides when I am suffering from an overfullness of words. I am not expecting a two way conversation. Or looking for answers. Even sympathy. I am taking the opportunity to clear the words out of my system. So their energy is no longer stuck in me. And my energy is no longer stuck in the words. Because saying them out loud is a way of clearing. Lightening the thoughts in my mind. They no longer need to be stuck around those particular unspoken words.
Sometimes finding someone to listen – just listen – is a challenge. Occasionally even my Guides seem to have gone AWOL on me. Then I start to write. Pouring words out of my head onto the paper. Imagining that I have a hearer siting with me to observe my words. It’s really almost as good as having a person actively listening. It can get me by. Until there is a friendly person ready to listen to me. Of course there is a trade off involved. I am actively involved in being a hearer too. It’s important to return the kindness someone has shown me. By validating my right to speak they have helped me release the energy attached to all of those words. So it’s only fair that I take my turn as a listening ear too.
Someone will always turn up who is willing to listen. Because I am a willing listener. And what you give out you get back. Offer to be a hearer for someone’s words. Then you will always be able to speak your own words out into the world.
Day 610 of my blogging challenge
The stand out feature of today has been my conversations. Wonderfully full of compassion and wisdom. I love sharing this way.
One of the gifts of being human is that I can have conversations with other people. All sorts of vibrant discussions, debates and exchanges of ideas. My blogs often feature inspiration for the chats I’ve had with all sorts of people. What is also a feature of these chats is the sharing of compassion and understanding. When we discuss things it gives me and you the chance to explore each other’s point of view. Not to persuade one another to change our views. But to help me and you to find common ground. Ways in which both of us can live comfortably side by side.
I feel that we have to focus more on our conversations. On actively listening to each other as we share our own views about the world. If I come to a conversation with a compassionate intent I can enjoy both the differences and similarities that arise. In a sense I can live and let live. I am also opening myself up to the possibility that our conversation may contain wisdom that will help me live my life better. Because a conversation stretches my mind to open to another perspective. It allows me to consider what I take for granted from a different place. It may even help me to understand myself, my world and other people better.
That’s why I love conversations. Held in an atmosphere of compassion these chats have the power to unite us in our humanity.
In the same way my conversations with Spirits and Energy Beings feature compassion and wisdom. They talk to me about my life, answer my questions and help me to navigate a spiritual path. Never seeking to change my mind but asking me to think about things in a deeper way. And if I am the medium through which a conversation can take place between loved ones then the loving kindness overflows. Ever helpful but very aware of our right to free will the Spirit and Energy people hold to that rule. In the discussions there is never a do this or do that. Just gentle encouragement to decide from the heart.
What matters to them is our choices work out better when we follow our heart intuition. Not the head logic. And my Guides and loved ones in Spirit certainly understand how the heart and head can get muddled up. That’s why they have so many conversations with me. Getting me to listen to my intuition instead of my fears. To acknowledge my feelings and not my anxieties. Having compassionate conversations with me until I have sorted myself out and can choose wisely. In whatever way the speak to me I can benefit from listening.
I feel it’s time to put compassion at the heart of all we say. No matter who we talk to we all want to have a positive way forward in our lives. Is it time to find the wisdom contained in all of your conversations?
Day 584 of my blogging challenge
It’s been a full-on day at the Centre. Lots of listening and discussion. Sharing opinions, sorting out information and arriving at conclusions. We all need to talk. And we all need to listen too.
Especially when there is uncertainty, anger, grief or fear. I know that we chatter away beautifully when we are feeling positive. There is laughter perhaps. Compliments fly from person to person. The discussion feels good. However I also know that when we are troubled conversation can be difficult. If we can speak at all. One of the reasons I have a Drop In at the Centre is so that people can find a listening ear in times that are challenging. By this I mean active listening. Not being ready to jump in, ignore what’s said and put my own point of view. Letting the person know that I hear what they say and respect it. Otherwise it’s not really a conversation or discussion. Instead it suggests that I don’t care to hear the other person.
Active listening acknowledges that the speaker has a voice. It is a way I can show respect for that person. And it can bring us to a closer understanding if both of us pay attention to what is being said.
In a way what I’m setting out are the rules for successful communication. They apply as much to all the people physically on the planet and those Energy Beings who wish to help us. I have found it a real support to be able to share my concerns or point of view with my Guides. Their listening and responding has helped me make sense of so much in my life. So it should be simple to practice active listening. Yet it seems to be a skill we are lacking at the moment. I find that people are so busy wanting to talk about their opinions that they ignore what other people say. Or close the conversation down as soon as it moves away from what they have decided is true. Sometimes the conversation never even gets started.
There were several instances of this today. Not least in the aftermath of the Grenfell Tower fire. Listening seemed to be in short supply.
Residents had been raising concerns for many years. Now the people affected by the fire are being extremely vocal because they feel it shouldn’t have happened. They have decided to raise their voices. But will there be any active listening now? Or will the conversation be closed down by those who should be paying careful attention to what is being said. I haven’t heard anyone in any authority in the council concerned expressing apologies for failing to listen to residents in the past. Perhaps the conversation is being blocked by the fear of saying too much. Sometimes the lawyers step in to close down comment in case there is a legal case to answer. But that doesn’t help those who feel voiceless. It only confirms they are.
And what about when we talk to one another? Do I make my point at all costs. Even if it means you don’t get to make yours? I’m very used to this. Many people tell me their view of mediumship, especially the point about it not being real, then close the conversation when I want to reply. They stop listening. Or switch topic. They turn to what they want to talk about, I feel we really have to practice being able to listen to one another. I’ve enjoyed a great discussion in the group I run about spirituality. Each person payed attention to what others said. Questions flowed. Information was exchanged. Some things were agreed on. Others weren’t. There was a peaceful exchange of ideas. Listening in action.
I hope that we can improve our listening skills rapidly. All of us can do it really easily by letting the other person speak until they have finished. Then acknowledging what has been said. And sticking with the topic. Even if it’s a hard one. Or one one which we might have to agree to disagreed. Finally when we all agree that we have been heard we might agree to change the world.
Day 571 of my blogging challenge
A line from a hymn has been in my head. “Floating on the breath of evening breathing in the morning prayer, hear we oft the tender voices that once made our world so fair.”
It was written by James R Murray and is a Spiritualist hymn. The four simple verses are a reminder that our loved ones still live on. That we can talk to them. And sense their presence around us. This evening as I sat thinking about my day I laughed to myself. I had an empty diary so to speak. From lunchtime onwards there was nothing planned. Except of course more moving of furniture. Then something interesting happened. My day filled up. I didn’t have time to take a breath before someone else called by to the Centre. It’s what I love. Being able to pause in my plan and spend time with people. Knowing that the room is full of more people than might be imagined.
I know I’m very fortunate. I get to call all my chatting ‘work’. I’m able to stop one thing and move onto another. Because I work for myself. And also because I know that my Guides want me to listen to the people who call by. Not necessarily help. Although we ended up having some really good discussions this afternoon. But to be there in the moment really listening to whatever that person wanted to say. I know from my own experience that being listened to is very important. Mostly because we are a people who have stopped listening to each other. Looking at world events this is more clear than ever. So I do my best to listen.
Being in the moment meant that time floated by. We stepped out of the pressure to be off somewhere else ‘doing’. It was a chance to breath before going back into all the external busyness.
Siting quietly this evening I took my chance to breath once more. To step off the world for a short while. I was listening to my daughter describe her day. She has had a lot of occasions when she has been ignored. So I enjoy letting her talk herself out. In the conversation she also discussed some signs her grandmother had given her to show that the Spirit World was looking after her too. I know I’m looked after by my Mum and my loved ones. So it was really good to know that my daughter knows it too. Tonight I feel my day has been filled with Spirit. The people who called in brought their loved ones with them. And my team were there too.
It’s important to know. Especially when the peace of the Centre is potentially being disrupted. In all of the lovely afternoon events someone sent me an unkind email. There are always negative people around. People who would prefer that my voice was silent. My work unfinished. As I read it I felt my Guide, Wolf Running, place a hand on my shoulder. His voice reminded me to look at all of the washing up I had to do. That could only happen if I was doing my ‘work’. I deleted the email and sent the writer some loving energy. I know that we can all float in the loving kindness of others, Energy Beings included, if we choose to. Now I will go to bed knowing I have done my best today to be there in the right way for the people who called in. And ready to listen once again tomorrow to all the people, physical and non-physical, who wander through my door.
Day 513 of my blogging challenge