I took a walk around the town today. The blossom on the trees was so beautiful. The warmer weather is stirring the plants to bring out their Spring glory. It made me think about awakening.
My life has been a series of awakenings. Like the seasons I have entered a new phase over and over again. Childhood. Teenage. Adult. Parenthood. Middle age. Each part of my life reflects a time of growth. I have put out my blooms – the fruits of my efforts to grow – and shone as best I could. Then the blossom has faded. I have retreated into a winter of reflection to begin growing again. Sometimes that winter has been harsh. But often it has been a time to rest. Then the change in energy has called me awake again. Reminded me to be ready to bloom once more.
I think of my intuitive development in the same way. A cycle of awakenings. The blossom of one growth period being overtaken by the blossom of the next. When I think about my experiences I see that each cycle of time has taught me new spiritual lessons alongside my growing abilities. I know that these go hand in hand. To shine the best Light possible, to be of use to others, I will keep going through more awakenings. It makes sense. Spirituality, with my intuition, has to be lived. I have to learn to put both into my life. To adjust my life so that both encourage more blossoms when the season is right. I feel this is where people often fall by the wayside. Looking for a quick path, or a magic awakening without understanding that life has to be lived in each moment.
It’s tempting to want a short cut. That’s why we grow things out of season in artificial conditions. We can’t wait for the blossom to arrive naturally.
I know what it feels like to wait impatiently. When I found I was clairsentient most strongly I expect all of my other senses to kick in once I had awakened. Of course it didn’t happen like that. Because I hadn’t used my senses for so long that they took a lot of awakening. So they eventually clicked in one by one. Although I am still waiting for my clairvoyance to catch up even now. I am sure in time it will blossom. That will be another awakening to look forward to. I have also found that new aspects of my life have awakened as I respond to growing spiritually. My writing for instance. And my video pieces. These are new opportunities to awaken others.
For me the purpose of blossoming is to be the best me I can be. Alongside that there is also another strand. To encourage as much growth and blossom in others that I can. I write about my journey in the hope that my challenges and solutions will be food for thought for others. Because we are all awakening. The circumstances are right for everyone to discover their own intuitive abilities. And based on them to apply some deep thought and practice to living a spiritual life. Once a connection has been made to Energy Beings -really made – I believe we never see the world the same again. I know we are not alone. That we have love and support from talented ‘gardeners‘ to help us make the most of our time of blossoming. I’m looking forward to my next awakening.
Day 511 of my blogging challenge
I have been thinking all day about the idea of being reborn. Of the tradition which suggests we have many lives. That we die and then live again. The Easter story brings such possibilities to mind.
Of course it’s not only the Easter story that talks about rebirth. Or resurrection. There are many traditions which say we die and come back. I have been fascinated by Past Lives for forty years. But I also like the idea that I am reborn every day and can start again. There is another tradition in certain stories. That the world disappears every night when I close my eyes to go to sleep. Then pops back into existence when I wake again. I guess I’ve thought about that a lot. Because I’m curious. And I like to know how these things work. So I look for evidence all the time.
Yet I’m not sure I can find evidence for the destruction and reconstruction of my world every time I go to sleep. So instead I prefer to think about the opportunity I’m being given every day to be reborn. I can wake up and choose to be different than yesterday. That me has disappeared. She is gone. Only I choose how much of her I carry forward into today. I find that really refreshing. Also it frees me. I can interpret myself for today in any way I wish. I can start afresh. Will I leave behind my impatience? Or my desire to control? Will I do more random acts of kindness? Or smile at people a whole lot more? It’s exciting. Because what I set my intention to is what will happen, mostly.
Of course old habits take awhile to fade away. But knowing I can be reborn every morning to live my day a different way inspires me to try my best. To begin again with a clean slate. And to aim for the best from myself. Perhaps the world would be very different if we believed in being reborn every day.
Day 510 of my blogging challenge
One of the things I appreciate every day is my freedom to think and speak. I might not always be able to do exactly what I want. But I can always open my mind and share my words. This is a precious gift. Not everyone can do the same.
When I started to make connections with my Guides I said very little to anyone else. But I was thinking all the time. Even if most of what I was thinking was doubt and disbelief. Over time I talked to other people who were on a similar journey to me. I was finding the freedom to talk about what was inside my head because there were others who would listen. I am grateful that I got the space to say what was in my mind. Both to my Guides and to those people who were willing to help me work it all out. Something I watched on TV last night reminded me that not everyone is so fortunate. Every day children are told what to think and say by the adults around them. Sometimes what they are told is all about hate.
How do I know the world is anything other than what I have been told? Because I have the freedom to think about it. I can use my voice to question and discover more about what I understand. But I also remember how much I had to challenge in my upbringing to decide what I now believe in. Where children are schooled in fear, taught to hate ‘the other’ there is a real danger that they will never question what they have been told. Especially if their access to other information is limited. Or non-existent. That is why I believe that I have to encourage freedom of thought and word as much as possible. Even if I don’t like or share the thoughts and words of someone else.
Like mindedness is lovely. But surrounding myself with too much of the same thinking as me is dangerous. In the end it can narrow my viewpoint so much I become closed to new ideas.
To enjoy my freedom of thinking I have to embrace listening to those who don’t think like me. Even if I find what they say is really objectionable. I have to let them share their voice. So I can think about my response. And check in that my beliefs are still the way I want to move forward. As a child I believed in one religion. As an adult I have explored many religions. And at this point I have no orthadox religion. But out of that thinking has come spirituality. A set of principles I can live by. And the freedom to discuss what I believe in with confidence. I would like all children to be able to have freedom of thought. Really have a choice in their adult lives. But that seems a long way off.
Children are still being taught to hate and fear from within religions. The emphasis is not on living a good life but in living a life dictated by a set of rules men have designed. Yet the inspiration for those religions is the love we can all share for each other. That is what I would encourage everyone to be thinking about. To be discussing. And to be embracing. I know we can live peaceably with one another. It’s not such a great stretch. If we allow freedom of thought and speech, have the discussions and, if necessary, agree to differ. I believe in love and let love. To do that I feel we need to free our minds and think more deeply. I know we have the freedom to do that if we choose.
Day 509 of my blogging challenge
I wonder when we first start to make war? I remember as a child playing games that were about war. After all my Nanna still had an air raid shelter in her back yard.
It seemed so innocent when I was little. Organising my brothers and the neighbour’s kids into soldiers on different sides. Running around the yard and back street hiding then charging and yelling at each other. Using the shelter as a place to hide. Or the roof as the place to capture. None of us had any idea what war was really like. We had hear stories. And watched TV. War was a game. A competition. I know that none of us realised that war had consequences. That older people spoke in quiet tones about the men who hadn’t come back. They had seen the bomb craters as the bombers dropped the munitions designed to stop us fighting back. Watched the light show of ack ack guns defending the population of our town. What did I or any other child really understand about those.
My mother understood. She hated our war games. Because she had been there. Sitting in that shelter listening to the planes flying overhead. They were on their way to bomb Manchester and Liverpool. Actually the bombs dropped anywhere in between if the pilots were being chased out of the sky. As a small girl, not really much older than me, she had trailed to school with her gas mask box ready to practice another drill to get in the school air raid shelter. I remember her delight in eating fruit. Especially bananas. Because of rationing she didn’t know there were such things. The first time she tasted a banana she was twelve. The war deprived her and everyone else of so much we now take for granted.
I know what she would think about bombing people. She was very clear that aggression was always the wrong way to bring peace.
Whatever the rights and wrongs she always said that people were given voices to live peaceably together. Not to trade insults. As I began to understand that in war people die and don’t come back I also realised that she was very wise. My mum believed that human beings were intelligent. She felt that we could solve anything if we only put our minds to it. That was her answer. That I should be strong enough to find forgiveness for any actions. So that war wouldn’t grab me inwardly. And I wouldn’t live it outwardly. Over my life I have tried my best to live by this principle. Setting my intention to peace even when I felt provoked beyond measure. Reminding myself that any aggressive act I took would eventually rebound on me.
I know that children are influenced by the adults, and the energy, around them. Perhaps I was fortunate to hear of first hand experiences of war often enough to help me work towards a path of peace. Certainly I have held to the ‘Not in My Name’ principle for a very long time. I hold myself responsible for my choices. And I expect nothing less from anyone who claims to govern a country, state, province or town. If an aggressive action happens then the responsible person is accountable. And should own up to it. They should also be prepared to examin their principles alongside their actions. You cannot say you are a person of peace and then fire a gun. I know that there are lots of differing viewpoints. But I prefer to take the simple view. I know that action should have consequences.
Now we have more aggressive actions. There will be consequences. To a child sitting in a war zone life is a harsh place. And peace is very hard to find.
What is that child learning? Will that child, like my mother learn to absolutely reject aggression? Or will that child learn to make war? What will the adults around that child say? Can a person in fear if their life, caught in the cross fire of my gun is bigger than your gun, really advocate peace? I hope so. Because if not the rule of aggression spreads child by child by child. Is that really what I want for my world? For all of the children? And for the children’s children’s children? I’m not in any of the countries directly involved. At the moment. But I’m setting my intention to peace. Sending out the energy of love. And holding on to the hope that all intelligent people will also say ‘Not in My Name’ to war too.
Day 508 of my blogging challenge
It’s been a day of goodbyes. Learning to let go with gratitude for what is being left behind. Meditating so I can feel grateful for all the changes as they happen to me.
I know I was taught early to say thank you. In fact please and thank you were the manners expected in my family. I’m not sure as a child that I understood what thank you really meant. It was a phrase I was supposed to say. So I did. Later I started to understand that saying thank you was a form of gratitude. A way of acknowledging something I had been given. Even if I didn’t want it. That confused me. I had to say thank you for things I didn’t want to receive. It had become an automatic response. A polite phrase to hide my real feelings and thoughts. No matter what the motive behind the giving I was supposed to be grateful.
I think I struggled with gratitude for a long time. When I felt obliged to say thank you I know I did so grudgingly. The words were empty of meaning. If someone told me what, in their opinion, I should do with my life I said thank you. When another one told me how I should feel about events in my life I said thank you. If someone made allowances for me becuase I was a woman I said thank you. All the while gritting my teeth and feeling very ungrateful. Yet there were times when people did something unexpected and thank you hardly seemed like enough acknowledgement. Occasions when someone went out of their way to help me but I found it hard to say a simple thank you. I felt driven to make grand gestures of thanks.
When I began learning to meditate I struggled. My mind was full of thoughts that distracted me. One day I was meditating about gratitude. Suddenly my mind started to clear.
The person leading the meditation took us into a garden asking us to notice all the details of where we were. I found myself there very easily. Better still I seemed to be able to feel thankful for the garden in my imagination. As I was guided to sit on a bench someone sat down beside me. It was a person who I felt had cause a lot of strife in my life. Yet this was a meditation about being grateful. How would I be able to feel gratitude for this person? Over many practices I started to feel the love between both of us. To recognise that they had been in my life to help me learn more about the absence of love. And that it wasn’t only me who felt that absence.
Because of the recognition that love underpins gratitude I began to recognise that my grudging thanks to others was telling me something about me. An automatic thank you had no meaning. If I wanted to express my gratitude with true intent my word and energy had to be filled with loving kindness. It was also important to be grateful for myself. If I couldn’t be thankful for me then how could I express thanks in any meaningful way for others. For anything really. Every so often I would return to my garden of gratitude. Finding different people there helped me to let go of all sorts of disruptive feelings. I began to feel at peace with and even more grateful for myself. In fact it became clear that letting go was often easier if I took a walk in that garden saying thank you.
Once again today I walked in the garden. There have been several things that I have let go of today. In my garden of gratitude I said thank you to them. I appreciate what has been in my life, how it has shaped me and understand the loving intent behind it all. Now I can be grateful that I love myself enough to move forward.
Day 507 of my blogging challenge
One of the things I often get asked about is the noises people hear at night time. Like the sound of footsteps. Or a conversation going on in another room. Even bumps and bangs. Are they Spirits?
When I listen to someone talk about these things they also often refer to what they have seen on TV or in films. Even to things they have read. They can be quite scared or anxious. Because noises in the night are often attributed to ghostly haunting. I always ask the person to think carefully about what they have been experiencing. Can the sounds be explained any other way? Like someone in the household actually walking about. Or a TV or radio left on in another room. Buildings and heating systems ‘settle’ due to changes of temperature so creaks, bangs and pings are not unusual. I prefer to rule out the normal, everyday reasons before I think about Spirit activity.
Once it seems that there might be unexplained noises I talk to the person about intuitive psychic senses. I know we can all sense the Spirits but we often choose to block out the information. I need to know if the person concerned is picking up these noises because their senses are awakening. Things can be done to close down our senses if we choose. Especially when that person prefers not to tune in to the Energy Beings. It may also be that I can give that person more information to help them understand what is happening and why. I can also connect with any Spirit who has been making the noises to see if they are trying to make contact for a particular reason.
Things are not always what they seem. The noises can be an attempt to get someone’s attention so a message can be passed on.
One of the reasons that the Spirit people try to get our attention is to let us know they are safe and well. Often when I make the connection I find that a loved one has been trying to pass that on. They don’t want us to worry about them. Because grief is hard enough without wondering if the person you have lost is ok. Making a noise to get someone noticing can be very effective. Much like what happens down here when we want to get the waiter’s attention. Once the message has been received the noises usually stop. I like being able to confirm what the Spirit person has been trying to do. And it’s lovely when things calm down.
I also have to acknowledge those Spirit people who pop back to the place they loved every now and again. Sometimes the noises are accidental. They haven’t realised that they can be heard. The Spirit people are not intending to create a disturbance. I find that when I ask them to be quieter that’s what happens. Often with some form of apology for being noisy in the first place. Occasionally the Spirit visitors get a bit mischievous. I know from my own experience that they like moving things around, opening drawers or even tickling my feet in bed. A strong word or two from me usually gets them to behave a bit better. I find that in the night are not about haunting but about staying connected with us. I love that but if you don’t then you can certainly tell them to go away. And they will.
Day 506 of my blogging challenge
I bounced awake at 3.16 am today with the image of Grandfather Samesh in my mind. Pulled from a deep sleep I wondered what was happening. And why he was there.
I am fortunate to work with the Earth’s ArchAngels. They are the Guardian Angels for this solar system with particular responsibility for all of humanity. One of these is Grandfather Samesh. He has much ancient wisdom concerning the formation of our Mother Earth, the evolution of living things and the abundance of life here. Samesh always shows me the Earth as a wonderful garden. A garden full of plants, flowers, trees and wildlife. All of it here for me to enjoy and live off. But he is also that rather grumpy Grandfather who sighs every time I forget to do the right thing. And those words were echoing in my head when I woke.
At the moment, with all of the fear, chaos and unsettling energy of change, it’s easy to make decisions that end up being a step onto a path that will make me unhappy. Or miserable. Trying to avoid the necessary things that have to happen or running and hiding from myself can get me on the road to nowhere. That’s the time I need Samesh the most. As that rather tough loving Grandfather who will help me see the wisdom of doing not what is easiest but what will be for the greater good. I soon drifted back to sleep clear in my mind that today was a key day to do the right thing.
What Samesh was helping me see was the need to clear myself of the fear of change. In fact to clear myself of all sorts of fears. Even the ones I’d never admited to myself.
Because I have some fears that are unspoken. I believe we all do. But whilst they remain inside of me, unsaid, I can pretend I don’t have those fears. Yet they can still be influencing my choices. So I took an opportunity that presented itself this afternoon. In the company of a good friend I sat and named my fears. Some were still powerful. But many were only the remains of fear. That in itself was enlightening. Understanding that some of my fears were gently dwindling down to nothing helped me see how much progress I’ve made. I realised that the ones that still had power were due to go. I couldn’t continue giving them headroom in case the changes Ii am making become based on fear reactions.
Of course Grandfather Samesh has things all lined up. Tonight, on the evening of the Full Moon, my friend had organised a Yoga Nidra. And I was free to go. The perfect way to release old fear energy and do a bit more to reduce the more active fears. I took my opportunity with gratitude to both my friend and Samesh for their loving kindness. They both played a part in the shift I experienced during the Nidra. The outcome of my day has been the support of good friends, an ArchAngel included, and my feeling of lightness. My Spirit is refreshed. My mind is focused. I am ready to embrace the chaos of change once more. And determined to do the right thing.
Day 505 of my blogging challenge
Today is the third birthday of my Down 2 Earth Centre. It’s been an interesting journey. Not always easy but certainly enlightening.
I work a lot on threes and nines. My life has been full of their influence. Over time I’ve got used to being a third of the way through something and finding I’m having to change things once again. House moves, work occupations, sometimes a lot of the people in my life. For a person who doesn’t do change too well that’s a lot of change. When I decided to set up the Down 2 Earth Centre I had a very clear vision of what I wanted. And how it would work. With all of the ways it would be successful. Yet as I approached this third birthday I had to step back and see how much of that vision had happened. Because if need be I would have to change what I was doing.
Certainly stepping back has brought me an interesting couple of months. Not least because change always makes me (and most of us) wobble. The certainty I once had seemed lacking in March. As did some of my motivation. Not helped by being energetically ‘under the weather’. But recognising my patterns around change energy I accepted the step back that I was required to take. And I took a good long look at what I was doing with my life. Then I was able to match that with what my vision had been. The gaps were obvious. Rolling my sleeves up and tackling those gaps should have been my next step. But it wasn’t. I needed to think a bit more.
Getting a third of the way through anything means it’s still early enough to walk away without feeling like something has been a waste of energy. It’s a kind of first quitting point.
For me three years is an acceptable time to have tried something for but also to turn around and say it’s not for me. Longer than three years and I start to build up an attachment to the outcome. Quitting is less of an option because I want things to work out the way I thought they should. Even if those outcomes no longer fit for or matter to me. Seeing the gaps between my dream and my actual position added an extra layer of reflection. Was my dream still what I wanted? Could those gaps be narrowed or disappear altogether? How much energy and effort would it require from me? And was I hanging onto a dream that has passed?
Lots of discussing, thinking, checking my feelings later I’m glad to say my vision for my future is still the one I want. I have to do some more work on how to flow with the changes I’m making. Perhaps I wanted step ten when I was only needing to be on step one. I’m constantly dealing with my impatience. As well as my need to try to control outcomes. Plus my general dislike of change. Yet as I sat in the peace and quiet of the Centre today I realised I’m getting better at change. At pausing a third of the way through and checking if I’m going in the direction I want. That my numbers are sliding into elevens and twelves. And instead of walking away I am delighted to keep going with the extra new ideas that will help me navigate this time of change energy.
Step back whenever you can. It’s well worth it when dealing with change.
Day 504 of my blogging challenge
One of the strangest things to understand has to be predictive dreams. It took me quite a while to get my head around why I had these episodes of knowing what was going to happen.
As I type that I know it sounds silly. After all psychics are supposed to predict. Aren’t I? People regularly ask me to tell them about their future. About what will happen to them next. Even if they will get what they want or hope for. The future. Predictive information. The need to know. I was the same. Wanting to know what is going happen next. I remember before I opened up to my own intuitive information I occasionally visited mediums and psychics in the search for knowing. As if I could control the outcome of my future if I knew about it enough in advance. And I feel that was the key. I wanted the information so I could be in charge of my destiny.
Quite early in my development as a medium, when I began to get predictive dreams, I agonised about knowing the future. Or trying to sense the future for others. What if I got it wrong? Or if I mistook what I was getting? Would there be a big mess becuase I might have misinterpreted information. It was another set of questions I took to my Guides. Especially when the dreams were coming three or four times a night. I could be sound asleep but shocked awake remembering a vivid sequence of events. The feel and sights of the dreams were so real. I had lots of information but never seemed to have anything vital. The what, where, who, how often escaped me. As did the exact time or date of the events I viewed. Sometimes I read about them or watched them on TV.
Usually at some much later date. Why was I getting predictive information that I couldn’t use? What was the point?
Working it out with my Guides I discovered that we all have predictive dreams. My Spirit doesn’t sleep. Every now and again I run ahead of the here and now to take a look at what is on this timeline. The Ego mind struggles to process information that is outside of the sequence of time we are all used to. Instead my mind jumbles up the information. The puzzle pieces get shaken about so I struggle to put them back together again. If there is a big enough energy event going to happen I pick up that wave when I’m ahead of myself. If it’s really big much more of the puzzle pieces will drop into my conscious mind. That means I will remember more. But not necessarily a lot of the detail.
I may recall a feeling or watching something happen. Perhaps a snippet of conversation. But as it is out of context it will seem like it makes no sense. I will know that something is going to happen but not necessarily all of what is involved. When I reached that point with my Guides I asked the next obvious question. If I don’t know enough detail to do anything then why do I bother going to look? The response was really interesting. They told me it was so that I could be prepared for the energy surge. A natural disaster, a plane crash, even an accident to myself, can create a big energy reaction. If I have a sense that something is coming I can remind myself to stay calm.
I have to say I thought at that point that predictive dreaming was a pointless exercise. Staying calm? How could I do that?
After all I was still arguing with them about why I got to know things I couldn’t possibly change. Because that was one of my issues too. Dreaming of a volcanic eruption seemed pointless if I couldn’t alert anyone. Or expect to be able to give a warning that would be listened to. The same with dreaming about car crashes. Or illnesses. It was rather a shock to be told that I wasn’t expected to do anything with the information. Except to be ready to balance the energy waves. Although sending healing was an option too. And if anyone had died in the events I could send energy to help them find their way into the Afterlife.
As this went round and round in my head I realised that all I could do was exactly what my Guides suggested. Take the dream information, wait for events to unfołd and do my best to send positive energy to the situation. Over the years I have done that in many occasions. I have learned to wake from the dream, record it and be ready to send energy. Positive intentions do help others. I have had plenty of personal proof of that. And there are many more than me who remember their predictive dreams. If all of us send positive and healing intentions to emergency or disaster situations then the aftermath may be a little bit less than it might have been. If we can’t change the future of these events perhaps in some way we are softening their impact.
That’s what I understand the predictive dreams come through for. So I welcome them as a small way for me to help from a distance.
Day 503 of my blogging challenge
One of the most difficult things about the Universe is waiting for it to deliver what I have asked for. And even trusting that it will.
I’ve known about cosmic ordering, the secret and law of attraction for many years. But it’s only recently that I feel I’ve got good at manifesting what I require or desire. In the past the Universe has seemed slow in delivering what I’ve asked for. Of course it took me quite a while to work out the rules. Far too often I unknowingly ended up cancelling my order. Either because I was trying to leap several steps at once. Or I was still trying to control the what, when, how and where. Even doubt that I deserved to have what I required kept resurfacing. Sometimes I didn’t believe enough that I could have what I asked for so I kept my wishes small. Today I’ve had several reminders that the Universe will always deliver if I let it.
Because that’s the other issue. I know how often I got what I asked for and then refused to accept it. So for quite a while I have been saying yes to whatever has come my way. And being careful that those yeses were taking me towards my passions not away from them. In other words I’ve stopped feeling obliged to say yes when my intuition tells me a no is more appropriate. That has been a big step. I know I’m not the only one who feels an overdeveloped sense of obligation. Many of the people I come into contact with believe that they have to help others before themselves. So good fortune, or the Universe sending blessings, get diverted away from the person who it was intended for. Then the Universe stops sending. And we all end up wondering why we can’t have what we require.
Today the Universe sent me a car I can afford, a bunch of flowers, some precious time with friends and a peaceful space for myself.
All things I had ordered. I actually cosmically ordered a new car for April back in December 2017. It’s here in perfect time for when I’m going to need it. Sitting with friends today I smiled to myself because I had asked for new people and those I already knew I could support to come and find me. Over the last few days new people have arrived. And friends have let me support them. It’s all part of a wonderful universal flow of energy. What I give out I get back. One way or another. So I’d like to keep giving positive energy as I know that in a perfect time that wave of energy will return to me. I love my bunch of flowers. It’s the second one I’ve had. Bright perky yellow to remind me of the kindness of others.
And I love the peaceful time I got today. So often people come to the Centre and enjoy it’s peaceful energy. I’m glad I created a space that way. The time to sit and be with the Earth’s ArchAngels later this afternoon was perfectly timed for the workshop I’m running tomorrow. I’m grateful that the Universe sent it to me. The best thing of all is that tomorrow I get to share more peace with the participants. And the whole cycle of giving and receiveing starts again. How wonderful to live in an intuitive energy world.
Day 502 of my blogging challenge