Some Mothers are good, some Mothers are bad and some Mothers are mostly a mixture. We experience being the child of a mother whether she is in our life or not. And women experience being a Mother whether we are with our children or not. Some mothers loose their children & some children loose their mothers. Some children walk away from their mothers and some mothers walk away from their children. When someone hands you that small, vulnerable bundle and says this is your child it can be overwhelming. Mother love isn’t quite as instinctive as it’s made out to be. Some women choose not to be mothers at all. For lots of reasons, none of them selfish or unnatural, some women use their creative energy in different way. And some women who choose not to have a child look after many, many children. Then there are those women who desperately want their own child and can’t have one. Mother is one of our fundamental concepts but it’s a far from straightforward one.
All of these ‘shades of motherhood’ exist because we are a species who reproduces with male & female participants. If we only had one way of being then whoever had a child would still face the same range of choices, dilemmas, fears and joys. And judgements. There are fads & fashions about how to be the best mother to a child. There are studies that try to determine which type of mother will meet the child’s needs best. Mothers are at the head of the queue when a child is looking for someone to blame. Mothers send their child out into the wild world eventually (or not!) and that is another reason for a child to turn into an adult who fails to appreciate the favour his mother did for him. Mothers soak up all the responsibility. They often take on much more when their own daughter has a child too. Yet we find it hard to praise mothers – except on Mothers Day. Perhaps it’s only the loss of a mother that brings home the real value that love and nurture from another person brings.
That’s another point. What we get from our ideal mother is unconditional love and nurturing. To nurture someone is to care for and protect another whilst they are growing. So many other people in our lives might step into our mother’s shoes – a favourite teacher, a grandmother, a father, a sister or brother, a partner or friend – the list can be endless. As children we often search out people who will care for us and nurture us like our birth mother did (if we knew her) or like the person who stepped into our birth mother’s shoes when she stepped out. In adulthood we repeat the patterns of that mother & child relationship. If we are the ‘mother’ we provide something that the ‘child’ wants. If we are the ‘child’ we receive whatever we have chosen that nurturer for. However, being the mother or child in this kind of way when you are both adults mostly leads to difficult, co-dependant relationships, unless both people are very clear about the underlying parent/child dynamic.
Today I was channelling for Earth’s ArchAngel Tiphoniel. She is the Guardian Angel of the Solar system who represents Divine Mother Love. She came around me because I’m a mother faced with decisions about how to do the best for my child. The decisions aren’t only mine. Others are involved in all the discussions. Yet I carried this the person, I fed her and I watched her first faltering steps in this world. I’m still watching as she steps further and further away from me. Some of the things that are happening are based on other people’s judgements of me as a mother. Because they are judging my child and I am the one who has nurtured her to be the way she is. Of course she has her own personality & nature. People are now finding that a challenge because she is old enough to speak for herself. So I certainly needed some guidance from somewhere this morning.
I shared Tiphoniel’s wonderful words on my Facebook page as she asked me to do. It’s amazing how many people have appreciated that post. It seems to strike a chord. When did we loose the connection to the Divine Mother?
We have all stepped into the waning Moon period and may be finding it hard to let go of what we once valued or dreamed about. ArchAngel Tiphoniel, resonating with the love of the Divine Mother, is stepping forward to enfold you in that love.
Let her wings carry you high above your worries and woes. Let her serene smile lift your Spirits and sooth your mind. She is here to remind you that everything is unfolding exactly as it should. Like a child when we push against the energy flow of life and are knocked back she is here like a mother to teach us another way.
She is sending you encouragement, strength and courage. Be brave. Explore the world without fear as once you did in childhood. It is the right time to look for the wonderful blessings that are flowing your way.
She is with me now as I write this blog. She wants us to recognise something that is often overlooked in the West. We cannot have a God without a Goddess. We have assumed that the Divine is one gender (male) but we must make room for the other gender (female) too. In fact, the best way to understand the Divine from an angel’s point of view is as an energy with no gender at all. Since that wouldn’t resonate with our dualistic energy flows in our experience of the Divine we need to understand God and Goddess. Our connection to the Divine is felt when receiving the unconditional care and nurturing of both Goddess and God. To deny ourselves the experience of the Divine Feminine lessens our own understanding of motherhood. If we don’t understand motherhood in it’s fullest, Divine sense, whether we are actually mothers or not, then our childhood and our children will be warped, missing the compassion, protection, encouragement and creativity that flows with the feminine side of the Divine nature. Be kinder to yourself – the child and mother within you is an aspect of the Divine Goddess. Open up to the flow of her unconditional love. Help others to find the Divine Feminine within themselves – especially your children – so that we can all embrace her gifts to humanity.
Day 102 of my blogging challenge.