I find it very easy to occupy myself with work – especially as I get to do lots of things I love to do. Sometimes I become so occupied I forget about time. I’m running here, there and everywhere doing all sorts of stuff for lots of people. I’m no different than everyone else who enjoys helping others, making a difference to people or seeing the results of my efforts. And I often run out of time for me. Of course there is the shower, or making a meal, or getting into my PJs and putting my slippers on. They are things that I could argue are for me in one way or another. So I get to the end of a busy day and wonder when I will get a chance to read the new book I’ve got, or watch a programme about Pompeii that I recorded, or listen to all the new music I’ve downloaded. Late nights are an option but not if there is an early morning ahead of me.
Being able to spend time offering mediation or Reiki in my groups could be me time. It depends on how much I choose to give to others during the hour when we are all together. Me time could be enjoying a cuppa with someone at the Drop In in the Centre. Or it could be when I’m on Facebook. Me time could be when I’m driving about as I love to drive. All of these could potentially be me time if I’m receiving as much energy as I’m giving. So do I get the balance right? Definitely not. Like many others I tend to give rather than receive. I’m a product of my social conditioning and I also enjoy giving. So two very strong drivers for me to take much less me time than is perhaps necessary for my health & wellbeing. One of the most challenging things is to find a good balance of me time and everyone else time.
It can be hard to turn off the phone, step away from the computer and do things that I want to do. As a child I remember being told the devil finds work for idle hands. As I liked to read a lot there was always a lingering guilty feeling that traced back to this idea that we must all be productive all of the time. Otherwise we must be asleep – resting for our next bout of being productive. Allowing me to go and enjoy something because I choose to have that time for myself runs the gauntlet of all sorts of justifications I have to make to allow myself time off. Yet I know that without me time I get tired of work, irritated by the next task in an endless list and avoiding doing things anyway as they aren’t bringing me joy right now. Somehow, when I get to this point, an alarm starts ringing in my head. Loud and insistent it’s there to remind me that I am ready for a break.
So today, to refresh myself and have a little time I went to a glass making workshop. This evening I also treated myself to time by going to a burlesque event. The workshop gave me the opportunity to spend time creating away from my work space. The trip to the theatre gave me the chance to let my hair down & laugh out loud a lot as all of us had great fun. Being in positive energy sparks my positive energy. I still haven’t read my book, watched the programme or listened to the music. More time for me is coming my way tomorrow. It’s a good habit I want to get into much more. With practice I’m sure the balance of my day will include a lot more time for me.
Day 124 of my blogging challenge.