It was wild and windy outside so today I decided to stay inside. I read for a while. Then got out my artwork. A little while later I took out my notebook. But I couldn’t settle. So I got out my blog ideas to pick one. And that’s when I realised I was hitting the wall. My will to get things done had gone away.
Vanished overnight. Nowhere to be found. I was struggling to apply my focus to anything. Perhaps a little of it is because my holiday is almost over. Certainly some of it is about the routine stuff I need to do. But I also realised that hitting the wall is part of my letting go process. I’m on the eight hundred and sixty sixth day of my blog challenge. Like a marathon runner I’m experiencing fatigue and loss of energy. Yet the end is really close. Far more is behind me than in front of me. And that is the issue. I love new beginnings. But I’m a bit rubbish at endings.
Letting go means stopping doing something. Putting it in the past. Completely in the past. I recognise that is the point that is hitting a nerve. When something is good I want it to continue endlessly. Even when it’s getting less good it can still be hard for me to stop. I feel that I’m not alone in this pattern. Most of us are reluctant to change. So I know that lots of us will be hitting walls all the time. Trying to find the energy to complete one thing before we move onto the next. But ending up carrying everything forward instead. Instead of sitting excitedly at my computer finishing another blog I dragged my feet today.
Other things got left too. But I know that I will have to push forward once again instead of hanging on. Hitting the ground still running. Making sure I complete the outstanding work so new things have a space to get my focus. It’s ok to take time to recognise the fatigue feeling. I know understanding that feeling will motivate me to keep going. Here’s to another 135 blogs!
Day 866 of my blogging challenge