Here’s another interesting though that surfaces every time Mercury is retrograde. Am I doing my duty? Have I cluttered up my life with too many should, must and ought limitations? Or am I finally free to do what is best for me?
My life is circumscribed by expectations. The expectations of others. And those that I impose on myself. yet some of those expectations are really the opposite of what I feel or think. That’s where a sense of duty can trip me up. The idea that I am responsible to others for their expectations of me. That to fall short of what they expect is some kind of big crime. Like I am not being perfect enough. Yet when I think about all of the shoulds, musts and oughts I have taken on in my life it’s no wonder I ran around like a headless chicken for so long. Or that it has taken me years to blast through the restrictions of these SMOD’s. Layer on layer of behaviour, responsibility and judgement that has weighed down my ability to be my authentic self.
All of these have kept me on a treadmill. Although I have stepped off time after time. It’s as if the power of duty, the call of it to be responsible for others, has some sort of seductive force. Because I’ve got back on the treadmill loads of times too. I know it is the power of belief. Me believing I should, must and ought to be the best kind of woman, daughter, wife, sister, mother, co worker. And on and on endlessly. Whilst the goalposts shift around with impressive speed so that I never quite make the grade. Once again this pass of Mercury apparently running backward has got me looking at the treadmill I’m currently on. I’m checking in with my expectations. Are they set to positive and authentic values. Or am I still listening to the expectations I got from others?
When you hear the call of duty, if someone is telling you you should, must to ought to do something (even if it’s your own voice telling you) please take a moment. Have you fallen into another SMOD? One that is putting barriers in your way of being true to your real self? Take this opportunity to get off whatever treadmill is tempting you. And put your feet on the path to enjoying being exactly who you are.
Day 981 of my blogging challenge