I love teaching & mentoring people who are discovering their intuitive abilities. It’s always a pleasure to help them meet their Guides and work out how the connections can be improved. One of the topics we talk about frequently is the relationship with Guides. How do you arrive at a trusting relationship that works well for both sides? Especially if, at first, you don’t even know who is guiding you. This is where I explain about The Contract.
When I began opening up to my Guides it seemed as if they popped in whenever they felt like it. I got woken up from sleep, grabbed when I was driving and nagged when I was doing my shopping. It took me a little while to realise that I had a say in how our relationship worked, possibly because a lot of people talk about the connection to Spirit as being a gift only a few people get. I was a little overawed to find I had this ‘gift’ but determined to find out more. So I accepted the contact whenever and who ever made it. I also worried that if I refused to acknowledge the contact they would go away. That fear was really me saying I wanted to explore more without understanding that they never go away. They only go quiet.
Eventually I got fed up of being woken up at night. I remember getting really cross and telling them to leave me alone or I would stop making contact completely. Funnily enough I started sleeping through the night again. When I got Spirit around me in everyday situations, like the supermarket or hairdressers, I started to tell them to come back when I was working at my mediumship. Finally if I got a message when I was talking to someone in the restaurant or on the school playground I began telling the Spirits to get the person they wanted me to speak to in front of me when I was working. These boundaries created distinct spaces and reasons for how I worked my mediumship. My personal space got bigger and my mediumship time was more focused.
As I was thinking about this change one day, some time after I had put my foot down so to speak, I was sure I’d heard lots of laughter from my Guide team. Someone dropped the thought into my head that I was finally drawing up my contract. I asked what that meant. With more gentle laughter they pointed out that relationships are really contracts. They are agreements covering who does what, where, when and how. Sometimes they also specify the why. To make it work each side has to respect the expectations and responsibilities of the other. You can’t actually do that if you haven’t bothered to specify what those are. By pestering me at all times of the day and night my Guides had got me to start thinking about, and requesting, the terms of my contact with them. We were building a solid working relationship. And they pointed out that I only had to ask. Everything I had asked them to do they had delivered on.
They let me process that for a few days. Then they came back and asked me what I expected and wanted from my relationship with them. They encouraged me to be specific in putting more clause in my contract. With their prompting I decided that I didn’t want to have information that was pointless (about forthcoming events that couldn’t be altered) or negative (life is always about ups & downs so why focus on the downs). I wanted my info to be uplifting for the person. If there was a tough challenge coming what could I highlight for the person to hang on to? Like any conversation taking turns leads to clearer communication so I asked that they speak one at once rather than give me info all at the same time. I was keen that the info had to cause no harm, to me or to others, or I would not want to pass it on.
We also discussed the ways in which they could contact me. We agreed that I would give them a set amount of time each day during which I would be sitting quietly waiting for them to communicate. Outside of this time I would ignore their contact. The contract also included being gentle with clairsentient connections as I can feel emotions and physical conditions. Having felt a heart attack as if it had been mine I was keen for this clause to be included. I was also keen to have emotional info in a way that the feelings wouldn’t overwhelm me or get in the way of how I could work successfully. I wanted the content of the info to be significant for the people who I had to pass messages to and I wanted evidence to be provided. I found as I thought about this bit of the contract that I am much happier to give facts & info I couldn’t possible know so that people can think about how I could have got that info. And I wanted the info to be confirmed by Guides more than once. I will only pay attention to suggestions or nudges from Spirit if it has been confirmed three times in three different ways. Why should it be any less for people who I pass messages on to?
During the time when I was evolving my contract I was also learning about their expectations of me. They wanted me to dedicate some time to my development. It was important that when I sat down to connect I was paying attention to anything which might be a communication. Self -doubt gets in the way so much but it was my responsibility to deal with my doubts. They encouraged me to actively listen, work in a mindful manner and stay as peaceful as possible. They hoped I would share what I was getting with others so we could discuss the process of spirit communication. Finally, they really expected me to question everything they said. My Guides encourage my development through a questioning approach. They encourage me to have the experiences they arrange and to analyse them afterwards (it’s part of the contract). Or more accurately to analyse my reactions to the experiences. As these things emerged in our contract I realised that I am not an instrument ‘played’ by my Guides, nor a vessel through which information is channelled. I am in a team and I have a say in how that team operates. Realising that rights and responsibilities cut both ways has made our working relationship very positive. I know I can renegotiate any part of my contract at any time. As a result, I live being part of the team and they never let me down.
If you are developing your relationship with your Guide team check out what you & they have put into your contract. Does it work for you? Is your human life balanced with your connection to the Spirit World? Are your boundaries firm? Is it time to renegotiate better terms & conditions?
Day 150 of my blogging challenge.