Fallen Angels? Soul Essence?

One of the Bible stories that made an impression on me was about Fallen Angels. Those beings who loved God so much they somehow fell out of favour and out of heaven.

I was confused. I had been told that all angels were good. They helped me. I had a Guardian Angel. If I needed anything the angels made it happen. Except that it seemed there were some who were bad. Not just naughty. But very bad because God had thrown them out. He stopped loving them apparently. It was a conundrum my child’s brain couldn’t solve. When I asked I got a lot of stuff about Lucifer, Satan and demons. All fallen out of love with God apparently. In fact it seemed that everything bad in the world was down to the fall of Lucifer and the rise of Satan.

When I began to research other religions the troublesome question about fallen angels kept reappearing. Had humanity made up these dark beings to excuse our own inner nastiness? Certainly being able to blame my dark side on an influence existing outside of me sounded like a good idea. At first. Because there is a lot of stuff about being tempted. But the temptation happens inside when I make my decision. Action only follows some sort of internal choice. No matter how much I would like to push the responsibility onto others. or to say it was a lack of thought. Even to say my feelings got the better of me. In reality I am the one who is in control of my mind and body.

Why then the idea of fallen angels? If I am the decision maker why do I need to absolve myself of what I have done?

Round and round went my inner debate. Every time I worked with someone who chose not to see that their actions had consequences. Every time I excused my bad behaviour by blaming it on others. All the times I fell into ‘the devil made me do it’ moments. For a long time this moral dilemma spun on whilst I got more confused. Then I met my Guides. Who were very keen for me to understand the practical difficulties of being a Spirit in a human overcoat. They helped me by showing me that I had fallen to Earth too. My choice to reincarnate was so that I could experience the absence of love.

And here is the really interesting bit. The angels chose to fall too. They removed themselves from the intimacy of Divine love. Not because of some bad behaviour. Or because they were any less loved. The fallen angels jumped of their own accord. With a very particular aim in mind. To bring the Divine Love as a Light into the world that was just forming. They volunteered to be in the here and now so that humanity would share that Love. Otherwise we would have begun in a total absence of love. And might never have evolved further. What a cold, dismal world it is when there is no inner or outer love. Yet each of us can still access the Love of angels.

The fallen angels fell from their dimension into ours as a gift. I remember that fall. So do quite a few of us.

To get this world started, to get humanity of the blocks so to speak, many Energy Beings came to this dimension. They came with gifts. I am sure that our ‘junk’ DNA contains those gifts. I’m also sure that the essence of these Energy Beings is still with us. I am part of a Soul Group who share the angelic essence. It was the gift to that group. It’s why the angels have always been real to me. It’s also the reason I can work with their energy comfortably. These ‘fallen’ beings continue to help us. They want us to recognise our soul essence and connect with out intuitive gifts. Not to temp us onto some sort of Ego path. But so that we can be more effective in listening to our Spirit within.

Somewhere along the line Ego corrupted our understanding of our connection to fallen angels. Religion became about power and control. I believe that is when our helpers became the Beings we blamed. Like a small child or an angry teenager it was all their fault.  I know it’s time to look again at our belief that evil is inspired by a Being outside of us. Time to take full responsibility for all I have said and done. Because it’s mine. Not the product of temptation. I am learning to love myself enough to own that. And to love other people when they still want to push the responsibility outside of themselves.

We are the fallen. We have fallen out of Love and need to find our way back. When we really grasp that we will be ready to change our world.

Day 498 of my blogging challenge.

Oppression, Suppression, Opinion

There are times when oppression and suppression blur into one another. Especially when more than one opinion is involved. This was one of my thinking points from running my workshop today.

Not because there was any oppression or suppression going on in the group. But because we all needed to be able to share our opinions. There has to be a right to disagree. To hold a different position. And to be free from pressure to change that position. That’s why I love the way my Guides work with me. They allow for the free flow of feelings and thoughts by bringing forward the activities that will get all of us tuned in. It’s a very intuitive way of working. Not exactly structured. Or planned even. But plenty of room to meander off topic. To ask questions and to discover through experience. For me it’s a perfect freedom to offer information in ways that fits the people I am with.

There have been many times in my life when that freedom has been constrained. I grew up in the first blush of feminism. I was part of the novel idea that women were people who mattered too. When I joined the workforce there were constraints on me that have, thankfully, mostly disappeared. That doesn’t mean that the move towards an equal society is over. Far from it. There are still attitudes so deeply entrenched that it will take several more generations for women and men to find a balance within themselves and without. I know that we are only dimly coming to understand the reality of energy. In each of us there is a feminine and a masculine force.

So it still concerns me when oppression is turned into suppression. Especially when it is coming from those who could know better. If they thought about it for a moment.

There is someone locally who makes a protest several days of the week. A very public protest. The issue that is being protested about doesn’t really matter. Except to say that I have no choice about walking past the signs and placards. The protest is to highlight oppression in another country. Something I support because if we stay silent we are effectively condoning the actions taking place. If the images on the placards are not of my choice I suppose I can look away. However, if I engage in any kind of debate about the balance of the other side’s view I am shouted at. And a group will join to shout at me. Because this protester isn’t necessarily on their own.

Trying to discuss oppression in an even handed way ends up in my voice, my view, being suppressed. It’s as if I can’t have the right to hold an opposite view. The suppression has ended up with me being oppressed too. How strange is that? It’s ok for one view to be offered but not another. I can only have a voice if it’s to agree. How do I handle this as a woman? How do I ensure that my view is regarded as a valid statement of what I feel or think? Do I bring along my friends to try a shouting loudest competition? Because in a way this little local issue is a mirror of the much wider equality debate.

It’s time to acknowledge that some of the people creating the oppression are other women. Women who are keen to suppress the views of women who disagree with them.

I know that I’m regularly being told that I need to educate myself about ‘women’s issues’. Not sure how my experiences in the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s don’t count as education. Or that I have accepted my social conditioning and need to throw off the shackles. By people who have shackled themselves in other ways. I find it curious that they don’t recognise their own masculine energy coming into play. Or that they are doing exactly what they are accusing the other side of doing to them. Because that’s the danger. We walk a tightrope every time we believe our opinion is the only one that matters, is right or must prevail.

And it’s so easy to fall off. Did I mention that the person doing the protesting is a woman? And that in refusing me a right to an opinion she is being as oppressive as the people she says have behaved outrageously to others? Whether she knows it or not she has placed herself in the camp of her ‘enemies’ and draws them much sympathy instead of disgust. That’s the real issue. When I look at where I end up with it all I’m glad to say I can still recognise that there is more than one side to every story. That each opinion, whether I agree with it or not, has validity. And I respect the right of the person who holds that opposite view to keep on holding it for ever. And I can hold my opinion forever too if I so wish.

Freedom is a precious gift but only if we grant the same freedom to others as we claim for ourselves. That is when we will really know we are all equal.

Day 481 of my blogging challenge.

Is It Survival of the Fittest?

Back in my science days I learned a lot about survival of the fittest. The competition for scarce resources. Of the human drive to stay alive. As I was writing this afternoon a few random snippets clicked together.

I can’t quite remember when but on the radio recently I heard someone talking about the guilt he had felt about his ability to think survival thoughts. He had been in a transport with many other prisoners, all cramped and starving, and he had wished that someone would die so he could have more room. A better chance of survival. Because only the fittest survive. The ones who can grab as much of the resources as possible. That’s the push behind trying to get the most we can. Before anyone else can get it.

After all, what matters most is that I survive. Not the most creative, or the most vulnerable or the one with the most necessary skills. It’s all about me. Somehow this energy has become a deeply entrenched part of the way we live. It’s ok for me to want the best home, car, phone. It’s also ok for me to do whatever it takes to get that. Of course I can dress it up by saying I work for what I have. I can tell myself that I’m providing an income for others who work to provide what I want. Even cutting across someone else’s livelihood or land or status is ok because my needs come first. I excuse myself by saying that my presence on this planet is greater than yours.

It’s why we turn a blind eye to the weak. Not being the fittest is a judgement that is acted on in every moment of the day. Because we think resources are scarce. So only the best at grabbing them deserves them.

There is a crisis in our health care, our education, our global financial system. It’s not that we are running short of resources. It’s that we have let the ‘strongest’ grab the most. I’ve also joined in that game. Panicked about income and material things. Convinced myself that if I don’t have such and such I will die. That my wellbeing will be severely damaged if I stop grabbing for everything. That death will get me. Because that’s the thing that pushes us all. If we don’t survive we die. But we all know we are going to die in the end anyway. It’s just we’d like it not to be yet.

Survivor guilt can be a powerful emotion. It links in with shame. And anger. Having had a thought I can’t take it out of my mind. In the same way that I can’t unsay words. Of course I can try to forget. I can hide the greedy, needy side away from myself. Yet it will still be there. Ready to jump out as soon as I find myself back in a situation where survival of the fittest comes into play. It’s a fundamental part of competition. So I’m likely to run into it all the time. Because we also seem to have turned competition into a virtue too. All day long people try to be better, more beautiful, more productive or more well liked than anyone else.

What am I fittest for? Does my life have to be lived on the edge of a fake drive to survive?

I was writing a piece to be added into my book. It was all about Spirit, Spirituality and Spiritualism. Something that I’ve thought a lot about over the last dozen or so years. A subject I’ve definitely tussled with as I’ve watched people do horrible things to each other in the name of  a Divine Being. Or to grab at more of the resources they need. And I include adulation, flattery, money, power and control in that list of ‘survival’ items too. We have developed a psychological dependence on one upmanship that drives much of the tit for tat behaviour over who has the most of everything.

I’m not sure we are the fittest to survive right now. That doesn’t mean I’m writing the human race off. But I do feel that our survival has to be based on a new insight into our inner nature. There are better choices that could be made by all of us to ensure that everyone had the prospect of surviving most of the ups and downs of life. And I feel that our Guides are doing their best to remind us that the survival we should be interested in is the one where we head to the Afterlife. I can’t move away from the knowledge they have given me of the Spirit World. Why would I need to worry about surviving here when my death is a new beginning? Instead of survival of the fittest now it’s time to acknowledge that we all survive. Always.

Day 477 of my blogging challenge. 

Immune to Feeling Fear? Grief? Anger?

I’ve spent quite a lot of my life acting as if I was immune to all sorts of things. Keeping my feelings below the surface quite a lot. Behaving as if I was resistant to pain, fear, hate, grief.

There is something about keeping going that is almost addictive. Because I feel it’s driven by a tiny little niggle that eats away at my certainty and will power. The thought that if I stop and feel my feelings I’ll never get going again. So pretending to be immune is a good tactic. I’ve used it as a form of protection. And sometimes even thought I was exempt from certain feelings. Like all things in life though I’ve discovered that immunity is a variable state. So I felt the grief of loosing my parents. Raw. Full on. Inescapable.

Also the pain, anger and hopelessness of failed relationships. Times when I’ve been drowning in despair. Or pulled deep into depression. Lost and alone in darkness. Perhaps what I did in response to these feelings was a protective shell. I fooled myself that I was immune so I wouldn’t have to express my feelings to myself. Or the world. I went into hiding from myself. But the reality is that I carried those feelings like a burden. Heavy baggage I was reluctant to put down. I had to wait until I was ready to see the stuckness this brought about. Perhaps even to keep battering my head against the wall I’d built around those feelings. Because that tiny little niggle made me feel weak.

If I am weak then I am vulnerable. Worse things can happen. That’s the logic of that mis-shaped thought. Better to be immune and exempt than infected and in need of help.

Because accepting help can be really hard too. I feel that we are conditioned to be helpers. Not receivers. Being in a state of needing help also sometimes ties in with feeling like I can’t handle things myself. Yet the strange thing is there are plenty of people who want to be able to help me. When I started to think about this idea of immunity from feelings I realised that it’s also a way to deny helpers. It’s easy for me to say I don’t need any support if I believe that I don’t have certain feelings. Yet I know, in the end, feelings exist. They are there first. Long before our cognitive abilities develop we feel.

But that leads to another thought. What feelings did I feel in my early years? What feelings was I allowed to have. Love certainly. Fear aplenty. Definitely anger, sadness and pain. These are all part of my human inheritance. Somewhere in all those feelings I developed a set of rules telling me what I was allowed to feel and express. And some rules about the kind of feelings I needed to be immune from. I say this not as a criticism. Or to blame. I learned how to handle feelings from the adults around me. I also learned to become a giver rather than receiver. These deeply held rules have governed my life. And I didn’t even get to negotiate or agree to them.

It’s time to put away these rules. To release myself from feeling immune to certain feelings.

It’s important for me to love my whole self. I can’t do that when I’m hiding from my feelings. Or refusing to allow myself to experience them. I need to love myself enough to allow my vulnerability to emerge. Learn to take the offers of support and kindness. Make myself a whole human being because I can feel things so deeply. And above all else, reminding myself that learning the opposites to love gives me a choice. I can pick the life experiences that boost the amount of love in and around me. Or I can stay behind the walls with my hidden feelings and await the next catastrophe that life throws at me. My choice is always LOVE.

Day 466 of my blogging challenge.

Children Are Our World

I have a lot of fun with my Grandson, Benny. He is 2 1/2 years old. He has dirty blonde, curly hair and the brightest smile you have ever seen. He’s full of mischief. That’s because I cursed my son to have a child just like him.

My son, Ben, brings Benny to visit for a week about once a month. I wanted Benny to want to come here so I had to think of things for us to do together. Benny is wise beyond his years. I believe he is an old soul. There is nothing this child can’t do.

He loves to climb and play at playgrounds so I suggested we get him a swing set for his birthday. My son and husband built one. Neither one of them are builders and it was comical to watch them.

I bought Benny play-dough. He knows where it is kept, but he’s not allowed to play it by himself. He and I have spent numerous hours playing with play-dough.

I bought Benny a little apron to wear when we bake. I think it’s his favorite thing to do with me. I will pull out the apron and get a big smile and a hug in return. We have made cookies. I measure the ingredients and he puts them in the bowl. At first he didn’t like using his hands to stir it. He doesn’t mind anymore.

I made the mistake of having him help with making pie dough. That’s something you have to be careful of. He was too aggressive with it and I ended up making another batch and letting him play with the first one. He made an appropriate mess.

It is so much fun to play with him. The saying goes “If I had known grandchildren could be so fun, I’d have had them first”. It’s so true!

This is a guest blog by Cathy Cohee who took part in Annie Conboy’s Inspired 2 Write 28 Day Challenge. Well done Cathy.

Taking it Personally? Not me

quote-when-we-really-see-other-people-as-they-are-without-taking-it-personally-we-can-never-miguel-angel-ruiz-59-9-0904Sometimes it’s hard to step out of a situation and look at it from the outside. Whilst angry, harsh, defensive or blame words are flying about the emotional content of what is being said it top of the agenda.

That’s a point my Guides have worked with me to recognise. We all have an agenda. A list of things that we would like to have that make our world how we want it. Or a set of expectations about what we have to do and how others should fall in with them. When the energy of change is round and about it’s much easier to take things personally. Usually because we are off balance from the changes that are happening. It doesn’t matter if the changes are inward or outward. Emotions are on the rise.

I know that much of the difficulty with agendas is that they are in my head. And the head of the other person too. Yet the agendas may be very different. I might want a quiet life – you might want a loud party. If you are my neighbour there is a potential for disagreement if you do hold your party. Perhaps we will both ignore the noise at the first party. What about the next one? Or the one after that? And what if you want to party every night and I want quiet. It could quickly become a personal grievance between us. If we were taking it personally perhaps the word and actions we used would fracture our neighbourliness even more. Before long we could both be entrenched in our positions. Both of us miserable. Both of us fearful.

Of course, there are difficult neighbours. We only have to look at the state of global relationships to see how agendas take rational, reasonable people into sometimes quite extreme positions. How do I make sure that my agenda stays positive and constructive?

One of the techniques I use is to step outside my mind. By that I mean that I recognise that I have both fixed and fluid ideas about what would make my life the way I want it. Fixed ideas are the bits of my agenda I’m not prepared to change easily. The fluid ideas are the ones where I can react from an ‘Am I bothered?’ point of view. So if my neighbour has noisy parties only once in a while I am much less likely to get into a situation of taking it personally. However, if I have very sensitive ears so all noise is an intrusion then I might actually want to stick to my point of view. And it might be impossible to resist getting drawn into some sort of dispute.

Whether the issue challenges my fixed or fluid expectations when I look at it outside of my agenda I find I have other choices too. For instance, like going away for a few days when the party is being held. So the next thing I try to do is step outside of my feelings. I ask myself why I’m feeling this way. Is it because I feel disrespected by my neighbour? Or am I upset because the noise scares my cats? Maybe I lived next door to someone who partied all night, every night, and the occasional party now brings up all the old feelings? Understanding why I’m feeling a particular way, perhaps even recognising that my reaction is a bit extreme, I can help myself not to take the issue personally. I can do that by releasing the feeling in a deliberate way. Often a physical way.

Perhaps I go and bash my pillow for a bit. Or stomp on the empty cardboard boxes to crush them (this is good for the recycling anyway!). Or I go for a run (no, not seriously but it’s an option).

I’m always amazed at the way a good physical effort will release any pent up emotions. Sometime a good yelling session accompanies the physical exercise. Mainly in a field or by the road on a quiet bit of moor. The words can fly out, free to be recycled by the wind into positive energy. It’s important to me that the words do not get aimed at anyone. Words are such strong energy and I know that they can do a lot of harm to someone’s aura if said with enough intent. Especially if that person is wide open in their energy. Learning to protect my own energy has been a great way to step out of the energy of words aimed at me. It’s my final way of not taking things personally.

Of course, it also depends on who is speaking to me. Or about me. Those closest to us find it hard when we change. It means they have to change too. I try my best to align my agenda with theirs but it’s true – I can’t please all of the people all of the time. So I don’t take it personally when they are unhappy with me if I’ve done my best to explain. Not necessarily to fit with their agenda. We may have to agree to disagree about the way the world is. There is one type of agenda I definitely don’t take at all to heart. I don’t even give it any of my time or attention. It’s the one based on gossip.

If someone wants to dream up stuff about me, or knows me so little that they want to spread rumours or just wants to cause an argument they are welcome to get on with it.

Gossip is a source of negativity. If you want to know anything about me all you have to do is ask. Of course there are some things that are private and I won’t open them up for discussion. However, if someone can waste their time and energy manufacturing or magnifying situations it’s their loss. I won’t respond. I don’t take it personally. The people I care about know who I am, what I’m likely to do or say and that certain things are so unlikely that what is being said can’t be true. My focus is on positive things, supportive words, compassion and love. Of course I’m not perfect. No one is. Keeping my attention on my own agenda, being mindful of my thought and feelings I’m far less likely to deal with situations as if they are a personal attack.

I dream that in the near future everyone, every country across the globe, learns the benefit of stepping out of taking it personally and into personal responsibility.

Day 268 of my blogging challenge.

Voice of Power

Voice PowerOne of the discussions I’ve had today has been about power. The use, abuse and lack of power. I’ve talked about the needs of the many out-weighing the needs of the few. I’ve promoted positivity. I’ve steered clear of fear and doubt. Looking after my aura energy I want to be an effective human being. How do I do that if I have no voice?

Anyone who has been following my blogs will know that they started as my way to find my writing voice. By taking on a challenge to write for 30 days I hoped to overcome what seemed like nearly unbeatable writers block. Shaky at first, then gaining more strength my writing voice is now firmly in place. I love doing my blogs. I’m passionate about ending my day with a thought-provoking hour of personal reflection. I watch amazed as the words fly onto the page or screen. Wow. I feel so powerful to be able to express myself. I don’t care that no one else might be reading them. This is my introspection time.

The feeling of power has been there all along. I just didn’t acknowledge it. That’s something that spins into the voice I use in other areas of my life. I’m a medium so my job is to go where I’m sent to represent the voice of the Spirit World or other Energy Beings. I have to say it’s not a job I actively applied for. It sort of descended on me in stages. Bit by bit I got used to standing up in rooms full of people to speak. I had no oomph at first. No real volume to my words. Unsteady, slightly embarrassed, almost apologetic. I was as unsure of my ‘subject matter’ as of my ability. Yet I stood as tall as I could and spoke. I worked to get better. One day I felt powerful enough to decide I’d done a good enough job. Wow again.

Here we go once more – I’m a slow learner!

The same process happened with my painting. I was dragged rather reluctantly back to my love of colour & paint. My Guides had to send someone down here in to help me. Yet as soon as I put paint on the canvas the first time I felt a stirring of excitement. On my way home I had to stop to get paint and paper. Of course I went through the same loop of uncertainty, gradually finding a comfort with expressing myself in art until I was painting only for myself and loving it. The pile of paintings grew. I moved into exploring pastels, watercolours, collage, glass painting. Anything and everything I could think of. My artist voice was beaming out from my paintings loud and strong. Wow once more.

It’s clear that I have been disempowering myself in major ways for most of my life. Taking back the power, even finding it in the first place, meant looking for my voice. The inner journey is never straightforward. I had to remove the voice of doubt, the voice of comparison, the voice of not good enough, the voice of you can’t, the voice of you won’t ever. No wonder it was hard to find my powerful voice. Every layer of voice that I discarded contained a belief about myself that I had soaked up from experiences, judgements, social conditioning. Hard beliefs to remove. Especially when the final voice I had to silence was the voice of fear.

Fear steals our voice more effectively than anything else. Fear takes away our power to act. Fear pushes us into being passive.

I’m a bit of a social media addict. I love reading my Facebook newsfeed to see what my friends are up to. Over the last few days fear has stalked my newsfeed. People are uncertain. The language they use may be of anger or hate or intolerance. However the root cause is fear. If I feel fear I also feel powerless. My words go unheard because I express myself in fearful terms. Being able to speak out is to regain my power. Every time I achieved that in my writing, speaking and painting the fear disappeared. It’s time for me and everyone else to take back power through our ability to speak out. To reclaim the right to say ‘Not in my name’. I am on a mission to use my power to express myself for a positive good.

I want to offer people the vision of a powerful, united world where we can all speak our truth in whatever form that takes. Speaking from love rather than fear. Empowering ourselves. Respecting what is said. Agreeing to disagree if that is the reality. Putting the needs of the many before the power of the few. Turning our communications up side down. Leave behind fear and all of those other voices that steal your power away. Please love yourself enough to find your positive voice and speak powerfully.

Day 223 of my blogging challenge.

Chip on the Shoulder?

imageOne of the themes that has been around in this time of niggles & headaches is about that chip on the shoulder that we sometimes carry. It’s a belief in ‘life is hard’. This can easily follow on to believing that ‘no one has had it harder than me’. The underlying feelings associated with this belief are lack, misery and self-pity. One of the difficulties with believing in ‘money’ as a real thing is we accept structures built around an idea that we have to earn our way through life. If we don’t ‘earn’ then we are undeserving and if we don’t earn enough(whatever that may mean) we are also going to struggle for whatever we feel we need. We look around and compare ourselves and what we have with other people. Funnily enough we never look at those who might appear to have less. We always make our comparisons with those who have more!

Over time we start to build a chip of resentment. Constant comparison leads to competitions that we sometimes fail to win. The chip gets a little bigger every time. We keep comparing. We start to tell ourselves that life is so hard it’s impossible to win. Eventually we are thoroughly miserable with this hard life. Enough to start to tell ourselves that no one else is suffering in the same way. It’s like the only competition we want to win is having the toughest, most challenging of times. Finally, the chip has got so big we feel obliged to sabotage our lives. We turn into moaning Minnie’s ready to twist even the good stuff into a negative energy. Our world view is fixed. We become hard to be around or to listen to. We pay little attention to anyone else’s challenges or issues. We stop connecting with people and we find ourselves alone in a grim world. Life has become very hard indeed.

You might recognise periods of your life in that description. Or recognise people around you who are like that. Sometimes it is a person or people who are really close – a partner, a family member, a colleague. They carry their chip with pride. No matter how optimistic you are being they fight against seeing any good in the world. It is wearying to be around them but we love them, we want the best for them and fight long & hard to rescue them from their misery. Until it finally dawns on us that no matter what we do they want to stay in that life is hard place. They want to believe that they are having the hardest time. We feel sad on their behalf, frustrated that they seem stuck and deflated because nothing seems to help. Often we have to walk away from the chip on the shoulder people in our lives. We have no more options to offer, energy to give or patience to keep listening to their world view.

Why would anyone want to live like that? It’s a question I put to my Guides when I started to recognise the chip type. I was surprised by their reply. The gently reminded me that before I came here to be human I sat around the planning table with those very same spirit people and agreed to be part of their journey just as they agreed to be part of mine. For their own evolution they wanted to experience a life with little or no hope or optimism. They agreed to be with me so I could see the impact of that kind of life choice. They also wanted to offer me a choice too. It’s easy to let a chip build up. Resentment and bitterness are the building blocks along with envy, jealousy and anger. Every day we  encounter situations and people whom we judge. We make comparisons and we decide who we are based on those comparisons. The chip on the shoulder people give us a clear example of what happens if we immerse ourselves in our judgements of others. They are a clear sign of what happens when hope and optimism die. When our dreams are extinguished. When we refuse to believe in ourselves and life any more.

It was a sobering thought. How many times had I carried a chip on my shoulders? More than once they replied. There is the challenge. Recognising the chip is there (or even more than one!) and taking action within yourself to remove it. Being clear about focusing as much as possible on the positive side of life. Converting from a pessimist into an optimist. I do believe that there is a personality tendency to be more one that the other. What matters is how you recognise your inate tendency and work to make sure you are focused on hope. I came in as an optimist but have certainly drifted in and out of being pessimistic. The chip on the shoulder people have been part of the choices I’ve made. We can all be influenced by others for many reasons. Recognising that carrying a chip certainly does make for a hard life we can look for those around us who remain cheerful, positive and ready to face the future with a smile.

Taking it one day at a time pay attention to your beliefs. Make sure that you are open to a day of positivity. If you find yourself thinking or feeling life is hard check for the chip on your shoulder. Turn your attention to all you hope for no matter how small that ray of hope seems. Keep optimistic and life will be easier than you could ever imagine.

Day 202 of my blogging challenge.

Headaches & Heartwakes

imageOver the last few days I’ve been a bit headachy. As I’m not normally prone to headaches I’ve been paying attention to the energy going around a bit more. I notices amongst my psychic friends and my Facebook feed that people were reporting headaches & migranes from Wednesday onwards. We all seemed to be feeling the pain together. Sitting quietly today, after another friend was laid low with a mega headache, I asked my Guides to help me become aware of what was underneath all of these reports.

They immediately drew my attention to the wristband I’d picked up on Thursday & started wearing. It says Life Loves You. Thinking about that I remembered the recent period of Mercury retrograde. That was all about old, stuck energy that I thought I’d sorted out a long time ago but bouncing back up to show me I hadn’t really tied up the loose ends. The issues that surfaced really did need to be finished and let go. So even though I thought I had let go I discovered that old feelings were still taking up aura space. Once again I found myself releasing emotional energy.

Going through this somewhat ‘low’ period of letting go one of the things I did notice about myself was that I was fed up of having these feelings lingering around. Stuck feelings only really disappear when we are ready to let them go completely. As the retrograde period moved on I also noticed that my reaction to the issues was getting less and less. This week I wrote a blog about niggles. Some of the niggles were the last remaining energy from Mercury retrograde. It feels good to find that much of the stuck energy has disappeared and to feel more focused about my way forward. So why the headaches?

Reflecting some more I remembered the connection third eye chakra has with clairvoyance. In other words our intuitive way of sensing or ‘seeing’ the energy flow and translating it so we understand on a deeper level where we are headed. When third eye chakra gets blocked or dirty this can often cause headaches. Until we have worked to clear the chakra so that energy flows properly again we can suffer physical and psychic headaches. Rebalancing or healing third eye will remove stuck energy allowing us to ‘see’ where we are going much more clearly. It was at this point that I realised I have been drifting off from my big vision. I have had a dream for many years but in the more recent past I’d forgotten what the ultimate goal was. Pondering my headache, trying to up understand what I needed to see more clearly I started to listen to my heart instead of my head.

There in my heart, waiting for me to pay attention, was my dream. It flew up out of the black hole I’d let it drift into. Bouncing round my brain was my life’s purpose. Letting my heart awaken me to the flow of energy bringing me my dream was breathtaking. Law of Attraction only works when our desire (the wish in our heart) is at one with our belief (the intent in our mind). Until we are wholeheartedly and wholemindedly at one with the requests we make of the Universal energy we are stuck. When the heart and head do battle they often cancel the request energy out completely. The energy of Mercury retrograde and the aftermath of the releasing of energy have created an ideal storm to shake us up. No wonder we have headaches. We are being prompted to find peace in our heart/head battle so the Life can give us everything we wish for.

So I’m embracing the feeling that Life Loves Me. I’m reminding myself of it. I’m open to receive all of the wonderful abundance that is on it’s way in. We have a simple choice. Be ruled by the head, staying risk free and miserable. Or throw our hearts over the windmill and see where our dreams take us. I’m off to look for the next big adventure!

Day 201 of my blogging challenge.


images-63Today was a cloudy day with a promise of rain. We took ourselves off to the beach for a walk (or a paddle if it was warm enough) and to do some beach-combing. The sun came out as we trod the sand. It sparkled on the small waves washing into the bay. There was a breeze blowing gently. It felt good to be alive. Sometimes getting outside and paying attention to your surroundings is a great way to step away a from whatever might be creating issues in your life.

As I walked along I started to notice the different shells scattered like treasures across the sand. There were different bands of alternating sand and shells. Some parts of the sand were damp and others dry. Empty shells were concentrated where the current must have carried them. Sprouts of seaweed poked up here and there. Looking closer I started to notice all the different colours of the shells. Picking one up I could see the stripes of delicate colour, the contour of the way the shell had grown and the thickness of the shell itself. Soon I had a selection of shells in my hand. Some were fragile, some strong, one or two tiny and a few slightly mis-sharpen. From deep blue to baby pink, orange and yellow to deep brown, the shells lay abandoned by the creatures who had used them. Now they were becoming part of the beach. Crushed in places where walkers had trod on them. Wedged in rocks. Half buried in sand. I wondered how many people noticed the shells or tried beach-combing.

When I am close to Nature I feel my Elemental Guides more closely. When I put myself in connection with the energy of the Earth the Sprites, Gnomes, Fairies and Elves are there to speak to me. As I thought about the shells – not only as pretty objects but as the remains of a life lived – the Fae of this place stepped through the shadows. Eager to speak about the cycles of life they drew my attention to the bands of colour on the shells, the different shades within each type of shell. Like us these lives had been experienced in different ways. The inhabitants of the shells had been exposed to different influences, been located in different currents and grown in slightly different patterns and shapes. At the appropriate time the inhabitant of the shell had abandoned it – moved on, so to speak – leaving behind all that was no longer necessary. The shell had been outgrown.

We grow shells too. The patterns we follow are our shells. The experiences we have in life harden our values, define our beliefs and colour our understanding of ourselves. Although we may all start out with the same potential, what we are taught, how people react around us and what we discover within us leads us all to have slightly different shells. Our shell may become so solid, rigid and fixed that we can’t move beyond it. Even when the tides of energy push us into currents that are unfamiliar. Deciding to move out of that shell means becoming vulnerable to other influences. Taking on new ideas, experiences or feelings without a shell to protect us is a scary thing to do. Understanding that a shell can also become a restricted, limited space we need to be like the sea creatures who can shed a shell in order to grow a new, bigger, more colourful shell.

These lovely Elementals know that life is about opening up to the new. An old part of us has to cease to be, to die, so that we can explore all of our potential and live a full life. Nothing is ever lost completely. The energy memory remains just like the bands of colour in the shells. Take a few moments to go out into Nature in some way. Perhaps you can get to the sea and so some beach-combing of your own. Or stand in the garden, find some trees or visit a garden centre to be amongst the plants. Ask your Elemental Guides to step forward and help you notice and appreciate all of the beauty that the Earth shows us. Then consider if your shell has got too small. Is it time to shed that shell and grow a brand new one?

Day 191 of my blogging challenge. Written on Wednesday 25th May 2016.