Endurance: Grieving Throws Up Many Emotions

EnduranceI had a conversation today about endurance. That quality within me that keeps me going through the ups and downs of life. The quality I call on most to help with grief.

A big part of my work, naturally, is dealing with the grief of others. Both the people in the Spirit World and the loved ones they have left behind. Dealing with the loss of someone you love calls on all the endurance you possess. Because there is a process of emotions and thoughts going on. Natural responses to dealing with a change in life that can’t be reversed. I know I am used to the idea that I can change my mind. That my choices can be reversed. However, death makes a permanent change happen. My world can never be the same again. So I might feel shock, disbelief, anger, depression, sadness, guilt, despair many times as I try to accommodate the changes that a death brings about.

I feel that is when endurance also comes in. Feeling the pain of loss, processing all the what ifs and might haves, I need to be able to stick at my life. I need to keep going until I can accept the permanence of that change. Not that I will necessarily feel the loss any less deeply. But that I will reach a point where the loss has become a part of my life. Rather as if it has faded into the background and is no longer my every waking thought. When I work to pass messages on to people I am always aware that they are still enduring their loss too. That the messages from loved ones are a powerful way to help that grief become acceptance. Mostly by acknowledging the wide range of emotions such a profound change brings up.

When I need endurance my Guides always draw close. That is a great comfort to me. I know that as I deal with my challenges I will never be alone. Their steady presence will encourage me to recognise my feelings, face the changes that have happened and keep going. We all have Guides. Have you asked yours to help you endure?

Day 823 of my blogging challenge

Total Wellbeing: My Focus On Physical

Total fitnessI had to go along for a blood test this morning. It’s part of my aim for total wellbeing to check how I am doing with various bits of me that need attention. And to keep on improving my physical health.

I know that I feel much better emotionally and mentally if my physical body is well. Although I have a few things that don’t work as they should I’ve always tried to keep them under control. When I started working with my Guides they were quick to point out that symptoms had to be dealt with. Especially since something left untreated can end up being the thing that really debilitates me. And stops me from being of service to the Spirit World. They gave me a total run down on all of the things that were affecting me. Then gradually encouraged me to tackle them one by one. Because their view is that dis-ease comes from stuck energy in my aura. And as I released that energy I found myself agreeing with my Guides.

When I moved into energy healing I began to understand that I was bringing in energy to the whole body. Not just the bits that were aching or hurt. I also realised that I could help myself by making my intention, my goal, total wellness. That way I was telling my physical body that I care about it enough to want it to be well. I also followed up my intention by changing my diet. Not going on a diet. And not cutting out all of the things I liked that might be seen as bad for me. But a steady shift to remove sugar, caffeine and processed food from my menu. I also looked around for activities to keep me moving. Or to get me moving much more. I consulted a homeopath, had energy healing for myself, discovered yoga nidra and made sure to get reflexology.

All things to show my body how to embrace total fitness. Of course, I was showing me how to love me more.

That’s the important point. Total wellbeing is all about loving my physical body as it is. Helping myself to have the body that is right for me. Not the body someone else thinks a woman of a certain age should have. I’m ok with the reality of aging. My body does get older. It will develop more issue as it soaks up more of life. My focus is to keep well for as long as possible by doing things now that help me. The trip for tests is also useful to keep my focus. I’m pleased to say that over time I have improved my general health quite a bit. As well as improving the physical issue I have been dealing with.

I know that it’s a work in progress. It will take time to be in a state of total wellbeing across my body, mind, feelings and Spirit. But it’s something I visualise. I know that if I can imagine it and believe it then the Universe will also make sure to deliver it for me. So my attention to diet and exercise continues. My wellbeing affirmations are said every day. When I look in the mirror I see a healthy body emerging. I remind myself that I am capable of lots of physical activities. Then I block time out in my diary to make sure my body is working out, one way or another. My body feels happy and much healthier for my attention to it.

The point of wellbeing, for me, is that happy feeling. It means I can do the things I want and be of service to Spirit because I feel capable of being so. And my happiness at following my passions in life feeds the feeling of wellbeing that my body shares. It’s a win/win!

Day 660 of my blogging challenge 

Baking Cakes Full Of Love And Joy

Baking eatenI’m a fan of The Great British Bake Off. I love baking but sometimes get a bit rushed to do much cake making. Yet there is something very important about cooking.

It might sound a bit strange to talk about intuitive energy and baking in the same sentence. However I do want my food to have positive energy. After all, it’s my fuel. It’s going to run my body and give me the power to get through my day. So I want the food I eat to bring with it a sense of goodness. That’s why I have been on a sugar challenge for the last few months. I’ve learned that my body is addicted to sugar but not in a positive way. Too much sugar makes me sluggish, slows down my digestion and keeps me feeling hungry. Especially if it’s processed sugar. Sugar also masks the energy of the food I’m eating. It tastes sweet but it can actually be lacking in positive vibrations.

When I started to open up to my intuition I realised that I was getting a lot of messages from my own body. Intuitive signals telling me where my energy was out of balance. And why I had aches and pains because of that lack of balance. As I tackled clearing the stuck energy I also realised there were lots of negative blocks. Some caused by thoughts. Others by feelings. Then I also realised some were being created by the food I ate. Baking, boiling, mashing, roasting and processing food also affects the energy of the ingredients. And what about those ingredients? Were they the highest vibration or not? There was a lot to think about. Especially concerning what I put on my plate.

I though about it for quite a while. All the way back to my grandmothers and their baking. Of how delicious the food tasted, smelled and looked. And how much I enjoyed eating it.

It made perfect sense. Both my grandmothers were well known for their standard of baking. What I also recalled was the way they loved making dishes and meals for us to eat. They enjoyed the pleasure we got from home cooked meals. And I realised they were putting love and joy energy into those meals. No wonder I dream about my Grandma’s soda bread and my Nanna’s jam tarts. They were the ones who taught me to enjoy making and baking. By playing alongside them as they cooked. They also encouraged me to look for fresh ingredients. To peel with care. And to chop like it was the most important part of the dish. That’s also why I enjoy Bake Off. Because I can see who is putting love and joy into their creations.

Over the past few months I’ve also started to pay more attention to the way I prepare my meals. If I’m positive then the food will get a good blast of positive too. If I enjoy the transformation from ingredients into a dish of delicious food then I will also get a blast of that joyful energy. I know I will be feeding myself the love and care that I have taken with my food. It’s a wonderful reason for getting creative in the kitchen. Even when the meals have to be turned out very quickly. And it works. My body feels happier. I have a sense of wellbeing after a meal. And I can also recognise, when someone else has done the cooking, if I’m getting a meal full of love or another block of negative energy.

I always shop for the ingredients that will make my baking a happy meal. It goes without saying that I choose very carefully where I eat out too. Is it time to pay attention to the food you eat? To how it ‘feels’ according to your intuition? And to make sure you fill your body only with live and joy?

Day 648 of my blogging challenge 

Emphasise Your Positives To Shine Bright

Today is my regular life mentoring day. In this work I am able to emphasise my ability to work with people who are determined to change their live around.

That’s a wonderful thing. Although it often involves digging in deep to their inner voices to understand what judgements are being played out. Because those often emphasise the negative rather than the positive. I know that this is true of me too. Most of my life I have compared myself to a long list of shoulds, musts, oughts and duties. I call these my SMODs. They have tangled me up in all sorts of situations where I should have said no or walked rapidly in the opposite direction. Yet I didn’t. Mostly because that list shifts the responsibility for everything onto me. Not leaving it with the people it really belongs to.

The list tends to emphasise all the expectations, opinions and judgements that other people have of me. I have run around time after time trying to please everyone. Or believing that making people happy, contented, safe or well off was my job. That’s how powerful these SMODs can be. Of course all I was doing was setting myself up to fail. It took me a long time to realise that I can’t make other people happy. Or take responsibility for the life they choose to end up with. Though I did try my best for a long while to juggle my life to meet the needs of almost everyone else. Until I realised that all I ever emphasised was my inability to do what I thought I ought to.

By th time I recognised that I had to emphasise something else I had nearly exhausted myself. My light had gone very dim.

I had wandered into a dark place without really knowing how I got there. Finally I started to listen to my inner conversations with myself. They seemed to be full of negative judgements. I blamed myself for all sorts of things I had no control over. And I noticed my tendency to be very hard on myself. So hard that I wouldn’t let myself say nice things about myself. Even my talents and skills were being ignored or rubbished. No wonder I was in a mess. Or that my life emphasised my apparent failures. The Universe was sending me what I asked for. Plenty of it. And I was stuck.

Until I decided that it was time to change the script. To talk to myself with praise instead of criticism. That’s not an easy shift to do. I found that I had years and years of judgements to shift. The SMODs were buried so deeply I wondered who I would be if I let them go. Because I knew I would be different. But that was a frightening thought too. However, I started to focus on the positive feedback I was getting. I also spent a lot of time going through my list and crossing off lots of stuff. I kept reminding myself that I had choices not duties. Every day I looked for something to praise about myself. I said thank you to myself for all sorts of big and little things. Finally I learned to challenge the negative voice. And reject what it was saying.

To emphasise positives sounds easy. Yet I know how hard it can be. It’s worth doing it though. I came back into a light place. I found a new me. Now I love sharing that me with the world. Are you shining as bright as you can? Or is it time to find the positive, powerful new you?

Day 568 of my blogging challenge 

Bad Back? There’s More Than Meets The Eye

Over the last few days I’ve been getting messages asking for healing for back problems. It seems that bad backs are popular right now. Painfully popular!

I started thinking about that today. My healing Guides had been around to help me send out positive energy to all who needed it. We fell into a discussion of why there was so much bad back trouble right now. Of course I know that we have been through, and are only just coming out of, a big energy blast. It was designed to bring the truth to light. To get me to notice where I was putting my principles into practise and where not. I guess you could say it was highlighting my inner hypocrisy. Those times when I say one things and do another. Also how vulnerable that leaves me to judging myself harshly.

The enegy was designed to show me my true nature as it is right now so that I would be encouraged to change. The situations put in front of me meant taking a chance and putting my money where my mouth is so to speak. I hope I’ve managed to do that in a positive way. Although others might not agree or may consider I have done something in a bad way. It’s all about me living my spirituality. That’s where the back issues come in. I know that I carry my stress in my physical body. As soon as I start to feel an ache or pain in my right side I stop to check what it means. Because it will disappear if I pay attention to it’s message.

Sometimes I ache because I’m clearing stuff. Often I ache because I’m picking up too much negative energy. Occasionally I ache because it’s a past life. And every now and then it’s because my burden has become too heavy.

Bad backs usually involve the spine and sometimes the muscles around it. Occasionally it can be kidney or other organs like the gall bladder. It’s not surprising really as our spine keeps us upright. Our kidneys and other organs keep our body free of waste products and toxic materials. When these areas flare up I believe it’s a sign that we have taken on too much of the wrong kind of energy. And that we are struggling to get rid of it. It’s no surprise that people with heavy responsibilities often suffer from bad backs. Or that someone who has been knocked down a lot in life (not always physically) has to deal with pack pain. Those with heavy emotional burdens suffer too.

There are also bad back issues when someone feels held back, trapped or hedged in. These strong emotional states stick in the spine and create physical pain. It can also be a sign of wanting to escape notice. Some people hunch with bad backs as if avoiding being seen. If this energy stays around long enough I believe we develop physical symptoms that make us stop and take notice. Unfortunately when the unexpressed energy becomes a physical symptom or actual damage to the spine there may be difficulties getting the spine back into order. Even after releasing any stuck energies.

Hopefully at the first twinge which suggests a bad back someone will get help identifying the energy source. I know from my Guides that the sooner it’s sorted the better.

But that’s the bigger problem. I’m not one to rush to the doctor. Nor do I always notice my bad back. Sometimes I just hope it will go away. I feel we all do that for as long as we possibly can. Especially as the back pain often comes from a strong sense of responsibility for others, for a job, for a way of life. So this is also about being ready to give myself enough care. As much care as I would offer to others. And for me to know that getting myself back into wellness is the best way to be more giving to others too. Is it time for you to notice that twinge of pain? That regular ache that doesn’t seem to have any physical cause? That nagging soreness that starts and then goes depending on where you are, what you are doing or who you are with?

Your body knows what you might not want to notice. If you have a bad back it’s time to look below the surface a little bit more.

Day 567 of my blogging challenge 

Hospital Bed Revisited: Well Done A&E

Some days turn up side down in moments. Today was my back to work day. But it turned out to be a hospital day instead.

As I sat with my auntie in A & E I couldn’t help remembering the last time she was brought into hospital. Of course when I get to a certain age I expect bits of me will get grumble and need attention. So I know that my auntie may find herself relying on this kind of care more that I would like. She’s been embracing all sorts of physical problems for a lot of years. Aging tends to bring us all to the recognition that our bodies tend to develop physical limitations. I guess I’m glad it’s not limitations of her mind that trouble her. I know it can’t be avoided though and she wasn’t the only elderly person in a cubicle.

It struck me that many independent older people really struggle to accept help. I suspect I might be exactly the same myself. Yet the staff were patient, polite and caring. Even with people waiting in the corridor as the morning picked up pace. Unfortunately there were no free cubicles because there were no hospital beds. The wards were full already. That stood out from the last time we were there. As I sat in the cubicle overnight that time to see if a bed would become free I wrote my blog on paper to type up later. It’s clear to me the pressure hasn’t eased any for these dedicated people. Around 1pm a whole load of juggling began to see if anyone could be moved to side wards or discharged. Not easy decisions to make but the pile up was getting worse.

Once again I thought about the importance of hospital beds. If my auntie ended up needing one it might be another long wait.

I feel it’s too simplistic to argue that we should privatise care, restrict care or divert people to GP surgeries. After all, the earliest appointment she could get to see her own GP was 13 June unless she phoned in at 8am in the morning for an emergency slot. One of the things I know we are really fortunate to have is a health care system that covers everyone for everything. In some other countries this morning’s visit to the hospital would have cost thousands. Money that she doesn’t have. The fact that she could get treated for free was a blessing. So how do we respond to the taking away or slow dismantling of such a system? Should we even be doing that in the first place?

My Guides were sitting with me as I watched my auntie sleep for a while. I understand that she will have to depart for the next life at some time. But I confess that I’d rather keep her here with us as long as possible. How would that happen without the hospital care? I felt an immense gratitude towards those people who are working to make sure that she still has quality of life. We all sat sending out healing to everyone in the department. It must be soul destroying at times for the staff. When they said she could go home I was thankful. But left wondering what the solution was. How to ensure that sick people can get help to be well again? Perhaps the staring point is to help people learn how to stay in energy balance.

Our physical body will fade out. It’s time is limited. But I can help myself avoid putting pressure on the hospital if I focus on my own wellbeing.

Keeping my energy clear and balanced. Letting go of stuckness and seeking positive energy. Listening to the signals of my body and dealing with them as quickly as possible. Using my intuitive healing ability on myself. Asking for the healing support from the Energy Beings who work with me. There are so many ways to achieve wellbeing if I wish to do so. Perhaps I also need to be active in the debate about our health services. I do believe it’s time for more holistic approaches, more listening ear sessions and intuitive connections to what dis-ease is. Instead of the medical model I’d like to suggest the holistic model. Medicine has it’s place in treating illness but there is scope for so much more.

My auntie is home and I’m grateful. She has had large blasts of energy healing and I’m grateful for that too. I appreciate everything the A & E staff did for her. But I recognise it’s time for change. We escaped sitting in the corridor and cubicle for 14 hours this time. Others haven’t been so lucky. Nor are the staff who have to deal with this on a daily basis. Whenever you can please send a positive healing thought to the people in hospital beds, the staff caring for them and the families affected by illness. Finally, if you want to change the system then you have to enter the debate. It’s no good waiting until you need the A & E department!

Day 554 of my blogging challenge 

Walking Towards Wellbeing: ArchAngel Help

It’s funny how themes pop up in life. I was writing some information about wellbeing today and ArchAngel Parashiel stepped in. Since he’s usually around when healing is required I paused.

Of course my Guides and Inspirers have been talking about the energy waves we have all been experienceing since last September. They have spoken to me about the shift due from 24th May to 10th June. And they have made sure it has been mentioned in my Letters From The Light Side videos too. What they want is to help me understand what  the shift represents. As well as how to deal with it. ArchAngel Parashiel is part of that story. He is the Earth’s Guardian angel responsible for all of the healing done here. It’s his task to guide us to wellbeing and away from dis-ease. That’s quite a job at the moment. Because, as he explained today, we are still focused on physical symptoms of energetic stuckness.

I have been discussing my own energy with him for a long time. Learning how to balance what I give and receive. Also ensuring I’m letting go of my stuck energy from earlier times in my life. Parashiel has also been working with me to teach me his forms of energy healing. That has required me to meet my inner energy issues head on. In my journey towards wellbeing I have asked to work with those who are serious about healing themselves. Knowing that anyone who chooses to do that is opting for action over words. I’ve been very happy to move people off the treatment couch into their new lives. In return I have been able to make progress on myself too.

So why did he step in today? What aspect of wellbeing was up for discussion?

The next bout of energy is a bit like a dose of chemotherapy. It’s a cocktail of different types of energy designed to bring the rubbish to the surface so I can release it. So the next couple of weeks are going to be a bit turbulent. I’ve been asked to take care of my own personal energy. To rest when I need to. Letting negativity pass me by whenever I’m near it. And to stay away from the dramas of others. A bit like being in quarantine apparently. I will need to do that so I can release all of my stuckness about who I am and why I’m here. There will also be time for me to really appreciate myself. To embrace all that I am. And let judgements about myself go.

I know that learning to love myself is tough. There is so much to strip away so I can see my own strength and ability. These are what I can offer to share with others. My wellbeing is me being myself. Whole. Complete. Balanced. That’s how each of us must be to move forward. Our authentic self. This journey will take some people longer than others. But each step is a positive if we allow ourselves to keep walking. Parashiel is there with his loving support to push us to keep going. I know I need help to stay focused on being well. It’s almost too tempting to say I’m stuck with things as they are. Yet until I take action for myself my life will drift along with more of the same.

So even if the energy waves are intense I’m going to make the most of them. I have Parashiel at my side with his healing Balm. Wellbeing is my goal. It’s time for action!

Day 546 of my blogging challenge

You can receive a healing wave from Parashiel through the video here on YouTube

Expressing Grief: Why Moving On Matters

I love how my day brings everything into focus. The background topic this week has been about expressing grief. Or the risk of getting stuck in grief.

I recalled today a general thread of conversations about letting go, moving on or feeling loss that had been demanding my attention for several days. Of course when there is a period of great change I have to let go of the old in order to be able to get hold of the new. There is a process to that which involves feeling the grief of letting go, of loss. Yet I know I am reluctant to express the grief. Even though I know I have to step through expressing the shock, disbelief, denial, anger, depression and acceptance of each loss in our lives. Sometimes the loss doesn’t matter too much – like loosing a glove – but often the loss is much more significant. So it’s painful.

That’s when I feel it’s important for me to make sure I am expressing the feelings as freely as possible. When I don’t do so the energy becomes stuck. Stuck energy creates problems. As more and more emotions pile up on top of old stuff it can take a lot of effort to hold it all in. To keep plodding on trying to convince myself that nothing has changed. Yet if I express my feelings as soon as possible there is one thing I definitely avoid. An emotional blow out. A volcanic eruption. Though I’ve had a few in my life because I tried to ignore the grief. Now I try to allow myself more freedom with expressing my feelings. Eventually the energy is exhausted. There is no more for me to express. I am at the point where I can move on.

Moving on is a different kind of expressing my feelings. It’s the point at which I know I’m ready to re-engage with my life as it is now. Not as it was.

Because no matter how hard I try my life has changed. Though there have been times when I’ve tried every way I could to make it go back to the way it was. Usually ending up angry, depressed and still trying to deny a new reality. So moving on at the right time is a positive aspect of grief. When I have reached the point of accepting that my life is going to be different. Moving on gives me a space to bring in the positives that change has brought. Perhaps I’m stronger. Or I have a new focus for my life. I might even have found new people to enhance my experiences of relationships. Or a more optimistic outlook.

Whatever it is, I will have my hope restored. Because grief dims hope for a while. Expressing hope even feels like an impossible ask. But when I have started to move on it means I’m prepared to give myself another chance at life. To have dreams again. And to remember with gratitude whoever or whatever has been lost. To be thankful that I can feel enough love to recognise the pain of loss. Today I reminded myself to honour my grief. I am moving on in so many ways. There is no place for the old feelings, thoughts or patterns. And I reminded myself to let go, gently, easily and hopefully.

Day 543 of my blogging challenge 

Let It Go: Releasing Resentment

One definition of resentment is ‘bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly’. Today the word kept coming into my mind as I listened to the conversations around me.

I know we have recently been through a big energy upgrade. Last Sunday the download of new software blasted in. Along with the reboot energy of the full moon. It’s time to get authentic. There has been a push for me to speak my truth for quite a while now. Yet I’ve also felt a bit held back about what I want to say. Today I realised that part of the new software was a patch to release resentment. I’m sure I’m not the only Lightworker who expected the world to be a fairer place by now. In fact I was grumpy about being back here for a long time. Shouldn’t humanity have got it’s act together by now? Yet it quite clearly hadn’t.

As I grew up I seemed to be hard wired to expect people to be fair. When they weren’t I was disappointed. Sometimes bitterly let down. And unclear why people thought it was ok to demand, take or expect more than their fair share. That was the problem. The definition of a fair share. My ideas often seemed to be completely different than some of the people around me. Even to the point that I would behave in an unfair way too. Because I felt like I wasn’t getting my fair share and had to grab for it. Over many years I slowly recognised that my hope for fairness had built up into a resentment. I begrudged other people their share of life. I had fallen completely into the trap of comparison. And had told myself that I had less.

The resentment of less had affected my outlook on life very much. Inside I carried a bitterness about my life that meant anything I achieved was overshadowed by comparing myself to others.

I was in a sad state. Pushing to achieve more but never finding it enough. Needy for success but with no definition of what that would be. It made me ill. My energy was out of balance. The resentment I felt drove me more and more. I was fortunate that behind the scenes my Guides were arranging things to help me. I discovered meditation. Though it took me quite while to calm my mind. I went on creative workshops, to Mind, Body, Spirit events and discovered my love of crystals. At every step I was learning to love myself. That included releasing myself for the idea that life had to be fair. I was taking a chip off my shoulder.

As I understood more about myself I also began to let myself off the hook for wanting to be fair to everyone. I realised that some of my resentment came from an idea that being kind to everyone was only fair. My upbringing had led me to connect politeness with kindness and fairness. I sunk my voice behind a cloud of positive statements, compliments and acceptance speeches so I never challenged unfairness. With no voice to challenge it was no wonder I started to resent. But a key point came when I started to develop my mediumship. I had to speak for the Spirit people. They didn’t dress things up. The spoke through me to tell it as they saw it. My lovely communicators had no time for resentment.

In the end I began to understand how much the idea of fairness was a limitation. The Spirit people understood that being human is to live through the heart not the mind.

It took me a while to realise the distinction. Fairness is an expectation of the mind. My mind wanted everything to be equal. My heart knew that doing the best is what matters. The best with what I’ve got. Which might not be the same as what anyone else has got. My unique talents can contribute to the whole community. To resent others for having different talents is a waste of energy. Or a different life path. Even different challenges. So to get into a state of bitterness or indignation about what I haven’t got is a self-defeating move. As I realised it was a block to my spiritual progress I knew I had to deal with this mind construct. It seemed like I needed to have a better connection with my heart.

I began to focus on my abilities. Looking at what I liked about myself made sure that I spent less time comparing. Challenging myself every time I thought that something was unfair. I reminded myself that I was making assumptions and that the facts might be quite different. Because I knew that people’s lives were much more complex that it appears on the surface. After all my intuition was telling me that all the time. Resentment seems to be based on face value a lot of the time. On a sense of fair or unfair that differs so widely from person to person. I had to find a level of trust in myself to withstand my assumption that I was treated unfairly because I was me. More often than not any unfairness was purely the way life fell out.

My resentment finally started to clear in a big way when I learned to love myself. That had many parts to it.

Firstly, I became determined to use my skills. I looked for opportunities to offer out what I was good at. So I got used to doing the things that I liked and suited me. Then I made the changes in my life that made me feel more contented. Clearing out the clutter that reminded me of comparisons was a big help. I realised how much I had instead of how much I lacked. Because a focus on the material world things drives the idea of unfairness. I found like minded people to support me. Not to forget the support I have constantly had from my Guides. Most of all I found my voice. I became able to say what I was really feeling or thinking.

Then I realised something very special. My heart is content with not speaking out as much as it is with speaking out. My resentment has disappeared to a large degree. If I want to say something about the way I am being treated I will do so. Whether it’s fair or not. I am comfortable with giving compliments or with setting the record straight. But I am also able to feel whether it matters enough to me or the situation to speak at all. As it’s my choice of saying something or not how can I then feel resentful? I can’t. My voice and my heart work together to ensure that I’m not storing up bitterness or annoyance with others, my life or my situation.

I feel like I have reached a place of calm. I know I’m only too human. Resentment might pop up again. But I also know what to do to release that feeling quickly and easily. Because I love my abilities and I can speak for myself.

Day 536 of my blogging challenge 

Themes, Dreams and Patterns

After my day of resting yesterday today has been a day of themes. I’ve been mentoring people most of the day and noticing the similarities in the energies people are dealing with.

Of course I felt the big energy download on Sunday – my reason for resting yesterday – and the spike due to the full moon is only a day away. The mentoring couldn’t have come at a better time really. When there is a lot of positive energy flowing in it forces the stuck energy to the surface. I can help someone see more clearly what patterns are still operating within them. And how they might be sabotaging their own dreams. On alert for any similarities I wasn’t at all surprised to find several themes emerging.

Dreams was one of the themes I picked out too. I’ve had some vivid dreams. So had all of my mentees. The thread was all about what habits were still playing out. Or where had endings been inconclusive. I was able to stand back and highlight emotional or thought patterns for people. Because the dreams gave me clues. And also because in our work together we had teased out the patterns based on fear or insecurity. Discussing the content of the dreams along side the issues of the past few days helped everyone to look at their patterns much more clearly.

Human beings do things out of habit. It’s one of our themes. It helps me and you feel more secure in the world if our lives are generally predicatable. Yet often those habits become a trap.

I know I like to feel that there is a sort of order in my life. Chaos feels like a scary option. Yet I know that some of my patterns have finished serving me well. They have changed into self-imposed resitrictions instead. If I stay following them I will limit my personal and spiritual growth. That might mean I never fully achieve my dreams. I might even stop dreaming altogether. I would become stuck. That might not sound like a bad idea to my Ego mind which wants to keep me safe. But to my Spirit it’s something to be avoided.

Back to my mentees. The themes today were a reflection of their potential to become stuck in a pattern that has already become unfulfilling. And hidden in the dreams and patterns are the clues of what could change to prevent that. In fact for some of them they had already become unstuck. This current energy blast is a top up to keep their momentum for change going. This evening I also thought bout my patterns. It’s worth considering every now and then if I’m on track with my dreams. Or whether I’m sabotaging myself. Then I can adjust what I do to make sure I’m heading in the right direction.

Old habits die hard. It’s up to me to move into doing things differently. Each time I ask my mentees to review their progress I know I also have to review mine. That way we all learn and grow and change together.

Day 533 of my blogging challenge