Comfortable Silence

I love a good cup of tea. It makes me feel relaxed and comfortable. It also links me to my childhood. Our family were forever drinking tea.

Whether it was a visit to my English Nanna or the trips on holiday to all of my Irish relatives I could guarantee that tea would be on the agenda. In the hurly burly of all the chatter flying backwards and forwards I would sink into a comfortable silence. I loved to listen. I wonder if that’s where I first discovered the joy of being invisible? The grown ups forgot about me as the teapot poured another cup. I probably heard far too much but I felt included in a bigger world. I loved the silence too. It was where I had room for my own thoughts.

Feeling comfortable is one of my key values. I want to be relaxed and I want others to relax too. Just like both sides of my family I tend to reach for the tea pot as soon as anyone calls by. It’s one of the things I enjoy about the Centre. Anyone can call in and get a cuppa. Then we can relax and talk. Or listen. Even sit in silence enjoying the moment. When I started my counselling training I rediscovered the peace of sitting with another person sharing the silence. It became a key part of my practice. Silence creates space for the mind and feelings to surface. Silence is a wonderful way to acknowledge my inner voice. And sitting quietly with another can be a perfect demonstration of empathy and support.

The world is very noisy. Busy. I love to sit in my office in silence too. Feeling comfortable with getting on with my tasks. Letting sounds fade away.

It becomes a timeless space. I become invisible to the world outside my door. With my cup of tea to hand I explore all sorts of ideas. I create, examine, find out, tidy up, calculate, surf, visualise, solve, plan, review and write. Comfortable in my own company. Focused on ¬†tasks. Or daydreaming the future. I am also processing my experiences. Tea and silence. A thoughtful space to explore how I’m feeling. To look at what is troubling me. A space too where I can get the support of my Guides. They may be invisible to the rest of the world too. Yet I know they are there. Sharing the moment, drinking their own tea and working things out with me.

There is nothing quite like that feeling. The comfort of knowing that they care. That is the energy I hope to share with my cups of tea at the Centre. And the silence of me listening if someone needs it. Or the quiet presence of company when times are tough. I’m grateful that I learned about silence, invisibility and the tea pot ceremony when I was young. And grateful for all of the cuppas that have been made for me whilst I poured out me feelings. To the people who listened in silence, fading into the background to allow me space, I offer my thanks. It’s because of your kindness that I can appreciate the comfort of caring for others in this way. My kettle is always on in honour of your example So pass the biscuits ūüíú

Day 528 of my blogging challenge 

A Helping Hand Up

Take my hand, I’ll help you up. When I explain life counselling that’s the phrase I use to describe what I do. For a very good reason.

When I first started my counselling training I knew I wanted to give a hand to help others. So I worked hard to process my own mental and emotional ‘stuff’. I also read as much as I could about counselling theories. Why would talking to a stranger work? What was the magic ingredient I needed to offer so that people got well again. As I studied more and more it seemed that there were lots of ingredients involved. What could help was different with each person. Something of an obvious point I guess. But one that it took me a long time to discover because I was swept up in all the theories about what makes us tick.

Eventually I had the study under my belt and was working as a person-centred counsellor. ¬†Keen to do as much as possible for my clients I took on more studying. And then more. I ended up with a Masters Degree in Counselling. But was I any closer to the magic answer? Could I help my clients regain mental and emotional balance? It seemed the more I learned the less I knew. I was spending most of my time working with people that I wasn’t sure I was helping. They didn’t seem to manage to make any inmprovements to their lives. And I was getting exhausted by my work. It began to seem pointless.

It was then that I noticed something. When I offered help some people took it and reshape their lives. But others didn’t. I wondered why.

I feel we are all so used to being the giver, the helping hand, that we never question what we are doing. Or if it works. However I was starting to work with my clients in a different way. I seemed to know what they were hiding from me in my sessions. And I seemed to ask the questions that finally brought the information to light. Sometimes they didn’t even know what they had been hiding from themselves. This intuitive insight meant that I could offer what was needed in a much more specific way. I could be to the point in achieving the release of stuck feelings and thoughts. It was quite a revelation for me.

Because I also found that some people resisted the help of a hand up. They actually wanted a hand out. Their need was for someone to ‘own’ their issues so they didn’t have to. When I was offering my help in the form of supporting them to work through issues for themselves they tended to move on. I was fascinated by that. Pretty soon I could work out very early on who wanted a hand up and who didn’t. I started to focus my work towards those who were really ready to make the inner changes necessary for an improved life. Whilst willing to support in a more limited way those who wanted me to be responsible for their lives. Because eventually everyone who is stuck tends to want to move on.

I love life counselling. It can help with any issue by getting behind what’s on the surface. Allowing me to be the helping hand when the client is really ready to step up.

Day 523 of my blogging challenge 

Life Counselling Wisdom

One of the things I loved today was a chance to talk about Life Counselling. It’s the work that started me on my inner journey to discover who I am.

It’s also the reason I discovered my intuitive abilities. And have been able to tap into the wisdom and guidance of non-physical Energy Beings. But when I set off on my counselling ¬†journey I had no idea how much I would be tested by my own life experiences. I guess most of us watch what happens to other people but don’t quite expect it to happen to us. Then it does. And somehow we have to deal with what has happened. I feel that I had extra help. I knew that in the background there was a team cheering me on.

When I was hit by bereavements, relationship challenges, moving homes and finding that there wasn’t enough money to go around I struggled. Physically tired, emotionally drained, mentally stressed out. All of which got me asking why I was here in the first place. Who was I to have so much going wrong in my life? The saving grace was my counselling ability. And the way it had led me to a connection with Spirit Guides. There were a few times when I wondered if it was all in my head. Had I made things up just to escape from a life that had got too stressful? Over time I found the guidance I got was clear and consistent.

Better still, when I followed that guidance it seemed that my challenges became less about despair and more about hope. That’s when I understood about Life Counselling.

It’s not about me telling people what to do. Or about listening to them being stuck and unable to find a way through their challenges. My Guides helped me to see that my intuitive knowledge of someone’s energy could show them a different picture of what was keeping them stuck. I can surface the old energies and present them to my clients in a way that helps the energies be released. In other words I can help someone leave the baggage of the past well and truly behind them. I love this way of working. It enables me to start with where someone is yet lead them to where they want to be. Often in a surprisingly short length of time.

Life Counselling has become the backbone of my work at the Centre too. In the sessions I can apply the same intuitive techniques to tune in to what someone needs. Most often it’s about me being a listening ear. Sometimes I am putting into words the stuckness for the person concerned. Or I am passing on the wisdom of their Guides. Even if they don’t believe in Guides or Spirits. Now and again I can suggest techniques that enable someone to become their own counsellor. Especially if they learn to listen to and act on their intuition. I’m so glad that I took up an opportunity nineteen years ago to learn about counselling. It has enriched my life. It has helped my life to be a hopeful one. And I know who I am and why I’m here.

Day 519 of my blogging challenge