I love what the butterfly can teach us. That’s because the butterfly path has come up in my conversation several times today. It’s a path I know we all try out at some time or other in our lives. But it’s also a path that can turn into a dead end if we don’t notice what we are doing.
What do I mean by the butterfly path? I use the story of the butterfly to help people understand why they don’t appear to be making any progress in their lives. A caterpillar has a great time hatching from an egg and having one focus. To eat enough and grow enough to put itself into a hard skin. Then the caterpillar stays inside until it has transformed into a butterfly. It rearranges itself and emerges a whole new shape. Best of all it can fly. It sets off around all of the flowers enjoying it’s freedom until it’s time for that butterfly to lay it’s eggs. Having created a new beginning it dies. But what a life! All those wonderful blooms. Riding the air. Adventure and discovery. Who wouldn’t want a life like that.
There’s the issue. I started my spiritual journey like the caterpillar. Grabbing all of the experiences of a material world I gradually built up a rigid shell. It became restricting. And limiting. I had to reorganise internally to find a different way of being. A way that let me soar amongst the abundant energies of this world. I learned to sense the planet and it’s inhabitant in a completely different way. Through my intuitive senses I flitted from one bright experience to another. Never quite free of the caterpillar but trying to be all that I could. Yet I also knew there would be a price. That there was something I had to do in return. I had to do what I came into existence for. Lay the groundwork for the next generation.
That’s why the butterfly path can be a challenge. At some point I had to stop flitting around. It was my time to contribute instead.
I have worked with lots of people throughout my life. Those who are still caterpillars. Whatever their age. And those who are busy flitting from flower to flower. In the last ten years of my life I have started to notice those people who have found a flower and are busy laying eggs. The people who stick at creating what will be the new experiences for others. Every caterpillar knows it will become a butterfly. It will have to make a difficult transition. And every butterfly knows it must ensure that new caterpillars arrive. Yet it’s easy to get stuck trying to avoid the hard work of creating the new.
I say hard work because people often struggle to leave behind that old part of themselves. So they dash around from therapy to therapy, healer to healer or retreat after retreat. They have become so caught up in the butterfly that they deny their ability to create. Whilst also expecting someone else to wave a magic wand and make it happen without any effort. But effort is necessary. Creative effort ensures that I have remade myself. Even that I can help new caterpillars and butterflies remake themselves when the time comes. I can also empathise with all those caterpillars and butterflies still hanging onto that shape, those habits and the limitations.
I know it is time for me to become unstuck and create. Do you? Are you still gathering ‘stuff’ like the caterpillar. Are you flitting around looking for the right flower like the butterfly? Or have you found the very end of the path? The place where you know who and what you are and why you are here? Are you grabbing the opportunity to create? Or still prevaricating? Be a beautiful creative butterfly. Share a new beginning with all of those other caterpillars and butterflies you come into contact with. It’s time for all of us to move on.
At the start of this year I asked myself if I was ready. Ready for what you might wonder. I knew that the energy building from 2012 was all about our readiness to change the way we live on the planet. But that can only start from those of us ready to change ourselves.
Today that question came up again in several of the readings I was doing. It got me thinking about my readiness again. I know I haven’t always been the fastest of responders when my Guides have called for change. Even if I also knew my resistance to the changes was rather futile. Life has a way of forcing me to change eventually. Because I can’t hold back the flow of evolution. I am in a constant state of change. Moment to moment. It’s how I deal with this reality that signifies my readiness or not. I often see this in my counselling and mentoring work. People start to look at themselves but draw back because they are not actually ready to change.
Unfortunately there is no quick answer. Or magic wand. Not even a special pill to take to make the change happen. I know that I have only changed through my own willingness to look at myself and my life. Readiness is also about feeling so uncomfortable or stuck with where I am that anything is better than where I am now. And the recognition that I will do anything to get through the changes. So I understand when my Guides tell me that this year I have to persevere with making yet more changes. Especially to make sure that I gain the best possible start to the next nine years of this energy cycle.
There comes a point when readiness tips over into action. I’m at that point. But I know many people aren’t there yet. Otherwise the messages I am giving would be different. Save yourself some time. Get ready. Start the action that lets you really look deep within yourself and make changes to the way you love yourself. That is, if you want the best of this year.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m whistling in the dark. Trying to keep myself motivated and focused. When my days go out of shape or I seem to have hit a big pause. The times when my life shrinks in on me and it’s easy to drop into a low mood.
I was discussing my spiritual journey with someone today who was considering learning more about his intuition. Mainly because he is picking up all the feelings and thoughts of the people who are around him. Their energy transfers onto him and he ends up joining them in whatever they feel. I know all about that. It has happened a lot throughout my life. I read about empaths and sensitive people. Eventually I started to wonder if that was the issue for me. And in the process of opening up to my own intuition I discovered ways to shut out the ‘noise’ of other people. Then I seemed to spend a long time on my own, whistling in the dark and waiting for an answering whistle.
Sometimes quite literally if I was on a paranormal investigation. Eventually the connections with my Guides started to be much more active. I learned to hold my energy steady enough so that we could have proper conversations. Then I found I was less susceptible to the energy of other people. And much more clear in my communications with the non-physical beings. I was doing great. Until they stepped back. My world shrank because of the situations in my life. So I ended up whistling in the dark once more. Felling alone. My connection was so narrow because all I could focus on was the way my life seemed to be upside down. And I thought my Guides had abandoned me.
Of course, whilst I was whistling in the dark I was also trying to keep myself in a positive mood. Reminding myself that I could deal with anything I had to. Even if I felt alone my loved ones would still be there for me in the Spirit World.
So on the days when I feel like the darkness is back I know that I need to keep whistling along until the Light starts to break through again. I put on inspirational music, sing my head off and dance around. If my mind keeps dragging me back to worry and stress I go for a walk amongst the trees. Or I get a good book out and lose myself in another world. Using my Reiki I ask for blasts of positive energy. And I have a conversation with myself. Why have I let myself be pulled away from my positive life? What is so important that I worry it to bits? I know I am good at doing that when I get in bed – no matter how tired I am.
So I sometimes while I’m lying there I start whistling and singing ‘Give A Little Whistle’.
It reminds me to smile, to laugh off my worries and to stick to the path I know is the best for me. Even if I feel like that path has got too hard. Or I’ve apparently lost the path. And just like Jimmy Cricket my Guides always turn up to help me get things back in perspective.
So when you get to the point of feeling like you are on your own and whistling in the dark remember to give your Guides a few moments to whistle back to you.
The weather today has been freezing cold. Back to Winter as the frost bites. It seems like Spring is still a long way away. Despite the recent celebration of Imbolc. Yet the crocuses in my planters are starting to flower. And snowdrops are everywhere.
Perhaps this freezing cold weather will be the last blast of Winter. But I’m not counting on it. Because I know we need the frost and ice. My plants respond to the seasons. They push upward then pause until the perfect flowering conditions are available. Just like me really. I’ve been in a freeze for most of January. Stopping and starting. Feeling the need to rest and store up energy. Then finding myself in the middle of frantic energies of growth. I’ve also found it rather confusing. A bit like the plants must when the seasons get muddled. I’ve wanted to rush into my new work. Then found myself stalled by circumstances. Or by my own doubts.
This freezing of action has made me doubt that I’m making any progress. Yet once I’ve got moving again I have felt sure that I am doing the right things for me. Of course I have had to remind myself that a freeze response clicks in sometimes when I feel fear. It does for all of us. That moment in the headlights when I can’t decide whether to run or fight. So I stand still awaiting my fate. When this happened I try to take very small steps. Like the moment I ordered my business cards for Embrace Intuitive Mentoring. Or when I messaged some people to ask them to do a book review for me. Neither action took more than a few moments. But both made me feel like I was making progress in what I want to do.
If the freeze hits you and you feel like all of your action energy has drained away find a small thing to do. Make a call. Write a plan in your diary. Go for a coffee and discuss your options with a friend. Remind yourself that you a can and you will. Celebrate your progress in achieving at least that one step. And remind yourself that when you have taken one step you can always take another.
One of my favourite quotes is “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience which you must stop and look fear in the face. You must do this thing you think you cannot do” It’s from Eleanor Roosevelt, a woman who served her best in very troubled times.
I have a little book someone bought me as a gift a long time ago. It has lots of quotations from women and it is one of my treasures. I know that if I open a page randomly I will find something to inspire me. I was thinking today about inspirational women, Eleanor Roosevelt amongst them, because I met up with two more of my great friends. In fact this week has been full of wonderful women who inspire me to keep a positive focus. I love that I have around me so many strong, courageous and confident women. Of course I know they may say they are not. But I can see the Light they shine so brightly into the world.
I know that these women, like Eleanor Roosevelt, take each day of their lives as a gift in which to make a difference. They don’t shout it from the rooftops. Because they are too busy doing what feels like the best they can do. When I wobble I take heart from these friends. If my confidence in what I am or what I am doing has dipped I look at the example all the women around me are setting. And I find that although we may be wobbling gently together we are also all looking fear in the face. And chasing out of our lives. This evening someone asked me how I stay so positive. My secret is all of these vibrant, compassionate women. I know they will lift me when I falter. And I also know that I will do everything I can to be there to lift them in their moment of doubt too.
Cherish all of the Eleanor’s in your life. And the Paulas, Sues, Jans, Lindas, Sarahs, Claires, Natalies, Isabels, Fionas, Gwennes, Beverlys, Cathies, Dellas, Mauras, Mindies, Brendas, Lizs, Lynns, Julies and Deserts. Cherish every strong, courageous and confident woman of any name if she is in your life. Tell her that you see her Light too. Especially when she can’t see it for herself.
I went for a walk at the harbour today. It was windy and fresh. Perfect for blowing the cobwebs away. And, as ever, I was inspired to think about a few things.
I love looking at cobwebs. They are so detailed, intricate and delicate. Each thread criss-crosses with others to make a wonderful pattern. And when I started developing my mediumship cobwebs took on another significance. As a claresentient medium I feel Spirit connections in my physical body. At the beginning that usually meant feeling like I had walked into cobwebs and they were on my face. The threads of that contact linked me ever onwards to stronger and stronger physical sensations. Of course I ended up being able to translate these feelings very accurately. Which, in turn, led me to more and more work and development with my mediumship. Until my life became a new pattern. Something very different from where I had started.
In the last few months I have been exploring the patterns I’ve built up over the last eleven years. All patterns involve choices. But I’ve been checking if I need to change any of those choices. Fresh decisions mean a change in my patterns. And that is something that has emerged as well. To help me I have been letting the cobwebs blow away. The thoughts and feelings behind my past decisions have sometimes become unnecessary or incompatible with where I am now. I’ve been releasing them, along with the memories they are attached to, so I can enter 2018 ready to work up new patterns. Free to make new connections within the strands of my life. Creating a space where I have new options to choose from. Today it felt really good to gift the old energy to the wind. Ready to tap into fresh energy.
Letting the cobwebs flow away, dissolving the strands, I feel empowered to move in new directions. The air flowed around me. Reminding me that I have the space, time and creativity to revision my web of connections. And that, in the end, since everything is connected, my web can be as vast as I wish it to be. All I have to do is be open to seeing it. Meanwhile, is it time you cleared out your cobwebs?
This Mercury retrograde period has been really good for looking at my progress. Especially in a year where there has been so much change energy. It’s also been something I have been lucky enough to encourage my mentees to do.
One of the things I love best about mentoring is that I get to share someone else’s journey through a period of self-development and change. I can monitor the progress they are making. It gives me a chance to remind the person how much they have actually achieved. Because when we are making changes it can sometimes be hard to see how we are different. And what has been achieved. Today I’ve had the chance to discuss with several mentees how brilliantly they are doing. I have been able to point out their determination to make their lives different. And the focus they have brought to getting nearer their goals.
I feel that all too often we ignore our progress. Certainly I do. I drift into looking at what hasn’t changed yet, instead of what has. But I am learning to recognise what I have done differently, where I have grown and how positive I can feel about more changes. Because I want to keep going towards my dreams. Even if I have to keep changing what, when, where and how I do the things in my life. So sharing the successes of my mentees gives both of us a renewed sense of more progress to come. I’m really excited that anyone who sticks at it, understands the need for self-discipline and takes responsibility for themselves can achieve everything they want. And I am fortunate to be working with people who have decided to do just that.
Progress is what brings me back to the service I do for the Spirit World. They are already in a place where progress is a natural party of their community approach. Each one aligned to the results of what they doing being a part of the greater good. I know that my mentees will contribute so much more than they imagine at this present moment. Our community down here will benefit so much. Here’s a big shout out to everyone determined and focused on growing and contributing their best!
It’s been a day of friendships. I had a closing down sale at my Centre because I have to move on to new work. So it was lovely to greet friends as they called in and shared a final cuppa in that space.
Sometimes friendships last a lifetime. Sometimes they don’t. I have been very lucky to have good friends around me all of my life. Not necessarily always the same friends. My life has taken me to several parts of the country, different homes and neighbourhoods and a variety of people. I’m always amazed at the way in which new friendships spring up wherever I am. Sometimes that means I have had to let go of old friendships. Or that they have reached a natural end for both of us. Yet I also know that each relationship has been a part of my growth and expansion. I’ve learned to let go, to grow close, to share a friend with others, to have many different friends. Each pairing has been worth it.
So now it’s time to let some friendships fade a little into the background. I’m grateful for what these relationships have given me and for the people who have become my friends. I know that some people will stay in my life for longer. They have become part of the journey I’m currently on. But I’m also aware that they too may need to find a different path at some time in the future. When we move onto separate tracks I hope that I can honour what the relationship has meant to me, to us, in a positive way. That’s not always easy. Friendships sometimes end in disarray. With falling out. Or unhappiness with each other. Yet these endings are also valuable. They help me to work out what not to do in my next relationship with someone.
I have never expected to have life-long friends. But I have been blessed with a few of these friendships. I also know I have been blessed with every single friendship I have ever had. Good, bad or indifferent each relationship has helped me value other people and their share in my life. I’m looking forward to more friends on this next part of my journey.
As the dust of the last twelve months settles I can finally see some of the big picture emerging. Enough to encourage me that I’m on the right track. So I am ready to make more decisions.
I’ve understood for a big part of this year that I had to be ready to travel light. In other words the glimpses of the big picture always seemed to be about me making sure my aura energy was clear. I’ve worked hard to lighten my energy load. Letting go of the past has been quite a journey. But I also understood that at some point I would have to let go of material things too. That process started and stopped, then started again, as my Ego Mind clung on to the ‘reality’ of this world. The reality represented by my possessions. I guess I was scared that if I stopped having so many things I would be judged as less worthy somehow.
But that was me in my Ego Mind. Pressing me to stay in the box of my own creating. Because the box stops me from seeing the big picture. More importantly it stops me taking the action to move myself forward to new things. And life is really all about moving forward. I’ve had to keep focused on the snippets of the bigger picture. Trusting that there was a lot more to see. And seeking out the guidance and support to help me recognise or focus on what else is there. Now I feel the shift in energy I’m also aware that the dream I sense is becoming more visible to me. Last night I wrote about the Full Moon energy and sending out my wishes for the future. Right about now is the time. And I have a lovely list to release.
The picture I want to create for my life is full of amazing experiences. New possessions will replace the ones I have let go. And I can see that all is well in my Intuitive World.
That doesn’t mean I have that big picture yet. Just like my paintings the image has yet to be completed. I am using what I can see to guide me forward. Putting my trust in the flow of Universal energy. And I am also sending my belongings to new homes. To people who are ready to use the books, crystals and paintings I have loved. These things have served me and are ready to serve the next person who ‘owns’ them. Because that is the reality of energy. It should flow out and back between all of us. As it does so, I create the space for those new experiences.
After I sorted out all of my books today, did I mention that I felt inspired to by the lift in energy, I looked at them. There was a large pile of books ready to move on. I noticed that I had been very clear what to keep, a not too overlarge pile, and what was going. In the releasing pile were some books I would have found it hard to let go of even six weeks ago. But I know they need to be gone. Their wisdom is stored away inside my head. I have embraced all they had to share with me. The much smaller pile on the other side of the room may shrink too. As I recognise the big picture more the information the books contain may turn out to be redundant.
That’s the beauty of getting to see the big picture. I know the items I need for the next part of my journey. And I am able to lighten my load some more. Until I’m down to the essentials and stepping lightly along my road!
I love mentoring. Bringing things into the light so they can be released. Today there was a theme. Harsh judgements. It made me think about how my judgements hold me back.
I know that I can be a bit harsh on myself. I also know we all can. In my life I’ve tried to follow the rules. All the ‘how to’s’ that fill my day. Yet those rules have caught me out very often. Because I am unpredictable. We all are. Without that little bit of unpredictability I feel we stop being human. I find it really funny that our machines, those engineering innovations of predictability and reliability, are also unpredictable. Because it seems that everything needs a bit of spontaneity. A random chance. Two atoms, cars or people colliding with unforeseen consequences. I know this generates variety in my life. So when I’m choosing what I do it seems a little harsh to try to judge the outcomes. Although I admit to trying very hard to second guess my life.
And that’s often the problem. In judging my choices I agonise over what I’ve done. Was it the right thing? Have I said something I shouldn’t? Where will it all end up? Then I store away the judgement I have made. I keep it in the shadow side of my inner world. I tell myself I’ve failed or done badly. Because I’ve kept the judgement it is always ready to surface at a moment’s notice. To remind me, in a new situation, that I was rubbish the last time I had to deal with something like this. Added to unpredictability it’s a cocktail for my disaster. So I hesitate. Or shout at myself. Using harsh words I tell myself to doubt myself. Eventually that judgement ends up paralysing me. My inner world can never be a calm, safe space. Because that judgement is waiting to surprise me again.
I’m working on loving my shadow side. Noticing how harsh I can be with myself I have renewed my promise to be gentler with myself. I’ve also decided it’s time to clear out those old judgements. I’m no longer the person who made those choices. It’s time for the new me to free the old me.