I went for a walk at the harbour today. It was windy and fresh. Perfect for blowing the cobwebs away. And, as ever, I was inspired to think about a few things.
I love looking at cobwebs. They are so detailed, intricate and delicate. Each thread criss-crosses with others to make a wonderful pattern. And when I started developing my mediumship cobwebs took on another significance. As a claresentient medium I feel Spirit connections in my physical body. At the beginning that usually meant feeling like I had walked into cobwebs and they were on my face. The threads of that contact linked me ever onwards to stronger and stronger physical sensations. Of course I ended up being able to translate these feelings very accurately. Which, in turn, led me to more and more work and development with my mediumship. Until my life became a new pattern. Something very different from where I had started.
In the last few months I have been exploring the patterns I’ve built up over the last eleven years. All patterns involve choices. But I’ve been checking if I need to change any of those choices. Fresh decisions mean a change in my patterns. And that is something that has emerged as well. To help me I have been letting the cobwebs blow away. The thoughts and feelings behind my past decisions have sometimes become unnecessary or incompatible with where I am now. I’ve been releasing them, along with the memories they are attached to, so I can enter 2018 ready to work up new patterns. Free to make new connections within the strands of my life. Creating a space where I have new options to choose from. Today it felt really good to gift the old energy to the wind. Ready to tap into fresh energy.
Letting the cobwebs flow away, dissolving the strands, I feel empowered to move in new directions. The air flowed around me. Reminding me that I have the space, time and creativity to revision my web of connections. And that, in the end, since everything is connected, my web can be as vast as I wish it to be. All I have to do is be open to seeing it. Meanwhile, is it time you cleared out your cobwebs?
Day 767 of my blogging challenge
This Mercury retrograde period has been really good for looking at my progress. Especially in a year where there has been so much change energy. It’s also been something I have been lucky enough to encourage my mentees to do.
One of the things I love best about mentoring is that I get to share someone else’s journey through a period of self-development and change. I can monitor the progress they are making. It gives me a chance to remind the person how much they have actually achieved. Because when we are making changes it can sometimes be hard to see how we are different. And what has been achieved. Today I’ve had the chance to discuss with several mentees how brilliantly they are doing. I have been able to point out their determination to make their lives different. And the focus they have brought to getting nearer their goals.
I feel that all too often we ignore our progress. Certainly I do. I drift into looking at what hasn’t changed yet, instead of what has. But I am learning to recognise what I have done differently, where I have grown and how positive I can feel about more changes. Because I want to keep going towards my dreams. Even if I have to keep changing what, when, where and how I do the things in my life. So sharing the successes of my mentees gives both of us a renewed sense of more progress to come. I’m really excited that anyone who sticks at it, understands the need for self-discipline and takes responsibility for themselves can achieve everything they want. And I am fortunate to be working with people who have decided to do just that.
Progress is what brings me back to the service I do for the Spirit World. They are already in a place where progress is a natural party of their community approach. Each one aligned to the results of what they doing being a part of the greater good. I know that my mentees will contribute so much more than they imagine at this present moment. Our community down here will benefit so much. Here’s a big shout out to everyone determined and focused on growing and contributing their best!
Day 749 of my blogging challenge
It’s been a day of friendships. I had a closing down sale at my Centre because I have to move on to new work. So it was lovely to greet friends as they called in and shared a final cuppa in that space.
Sometimes friendships last a lifetime. Sometimes they don’t. I have been very lucky to have good friends around me all of my life. Not necessarily always the same friends. My life has taken me to several parts of the country, different homes and neighbourhoods and a variety of people. I’m always amazed at the way in which new friendships spring up wherever I am. Sometimes that means I have had to let go of old friendships. Or that they have reached a natural end for both of us. Yet I also know that each relationship has been a part of my growth and expansion. I’ve learned to let go, to grow close, to share a friend with others, to have many different friends. Each pairing has been worth it.
So now it’s time to let some friendships fade a little into the background. I’m grateful for what these relationships have given me and for the people who have become my friends. I know that some people will stay in my life for longer. They have become part of the journey I’m currently on. But I’m also aware that they too may need to find a different path at some time in the future. When we move onto separate tracks I hope that I can honour what the relationship has meant to me, to us, in a positive way. That’s not always easy. Friendships sometimes end in disarray. With falling out. Or unhappiness with each other. Yet these endings are also valuable. They help me to work out what not to do in my next relationship with someone.
I have never expected to have life-long friends. But I have been blessed with a few of these friendships. I also know I have been blessed with every single friendship I have ever had. Good, bad or indifferent each relationship has helped me value other people and their share in my life. I’m looking forward to more friends on this next part of my journey.
Day 735 of my blogging challenge
As the dust of the last twelve months settles I can finally see some of the big picture emerging. Enough to encourage me that I’m on the right track. So I am ready to make more decisions.
I’ve understood for a big part of this year that I had to be ready to travel light. In other words the glimpses of the big picture always seemed to be about me making sure my aura energy was clear. I’ve worked hard to lighten my energy load. Letting go of the past has been quite a journey. But I also understood that at some point I would have to let go of material things too. That process started and stopped, then started again, as my Ego Mind clung on to the ‘reality’ of this world. The reality represented by my possessions. I guess I was scared that if I stopped having so many things I would be judged as less worthy somehow.
But that was me in my Ego Mind. Pressing me to stay in the box of my own creating. Because the box stops me from seeing the big picture. More importantly it stops me taking the action to move myself forward to new things. And life is really all about moving forward. I’ve had to keep focused on the snippets of the bigger picture. Trusting that there was a lot more to see. And seeking out the guidance and support to help me recognise or focus on what else is there. Now I feel the shift in energy I’m also aware that the dream I sense is becoming more visible to me. Last night I wrote about the Full Moon energy and sending out my wishes for the future. Right about now is the time. And I have a lovely list to release.
The picture I want to create for my life is full of amazing experiences. New possessions will replace the ones I have let go. And I can see that all is well in my Intuitive World.
That doesn’t mean I have that big picture yet. Just like my paintings the image has yet to be completed. I am using what I can see to guide me forward. Putting my trust in the flow of Universal energy. And I am also sending my belongings to new homes. To people who are ready to use the books, crystals and paintings I have loved. These things have served me and are ready to serve the next person who ‘owns’ them. Because that is the reality of energy. It should flow out and back between all of us. As it does so, I create the space for those new experiences.
After I sorted out all of my books today, did I mention that I felt inspired to by the lift in energy, I looked at them. There was a large pile of books ready to move on. I noticed that I had been very clear what to keep, a not too overlarge pile, and what was going. In the releasing pile were some books I would have found it hard to let go of even six weeks ago. But I know they need to be gone. Their wisdom is stored away inside my head. I have embraced all they had to share with me. The much smaller pile on the other side of the room may shrink too. As I recognise the big picture more the information the books contain may turn out to be redundant.
That’s the beauty of getting to see the big picture. I know the items I need for the next part of my journey. And I am able to lighten my load some more. Until I’m down to the essentials and stepping lightly along my road!
Day 682 of my blogging challenge
I love mentoring. Bringing things into the light so they can be released. Today there was a theme. Harsh judgements. It made me think about how my judgements hold me back.
I know that I can be a bit harsh on myself. I also know we all can. In my life I’ve tried to follow the rules. All the ‘how to’s’ that fill my day. Yet those rules have caught me out very often. Because I am unpredictable. We all are. Without that little bit of unpredictability I feel we stop being human. I find it really funny that our machines, those engineering innovations of predictability and reliability, are also unpredictable. Because it seems that everything needs a bit of spontaneity. A random chance. Two atoms, cars or people colliding with unforeseen consequences. I know this generates variety in my life. So when I’m choosing what I do it seems a little harsh to try to judge the outcomes. Although I admit to trying very hard to second guess my life.
And that’s often the problem. In judging my choices I agonise over what I’ve done. Was it the right thing? Have I said something I shouldn’t? Where will it all end up? Then I store away the judgement I have made. I keep it in the shadow side of my inner world. I tell myself I’ve failed or done badly. Because I’ve kept the judgement it is always ready to surface at a moment’s notice. To remind me, in a new situation, that I was rubbish the last time I had to deal with something like this. Added to unpredictability it’s a cocktail for my disaster. So I hesitate. Or shout at myself. Using harsh words I tell myself to doubt myself. Eventually that judgement ends up paralysing me. My inner world can never be a calm, safe space. Because that judgement is waiting to surprise me again.
I’m working on loving my shadow side. Noticing how harsh I can be with myself I have renewed my promise to be gentler with myself. I’ve also decided it’s time to clear out those old judgements. I’m no longer the person who made those choices. It’s time for the new me to free the old me.
Day 662 of my blogging challenge
It’s been a slow day. I woke up feeling out of sorts. Nothing I could put my finger on. But heavy energy.
Sometimes it’s not clear to me why I feel that the energy is heavier. I know all sorts of things might be going on in the energy ocean that surrounds me. But I can’t quite get to the heart of what is shifting around. At this kind of time I have to be kind to myself and acknowledge that I’m not feeling just quite right. It doesn’t happen often. Because usually the waves of energy are very clear. And I know that everyone around me is feeling those same waves. Yet today it felt like some of the waves were definitely flowing in the opposite direction. So were many of the things I planned to do.
When this happens I know that things might appear to be going in reverse. So I feel like I’m not moving forward but back. Given that it’s also the start of a new moon with some interesting impacts from both Mercury and Saturn yet in the outspoken Leo it’s no surprise that everything I’ve been doing has come back under review. I have been busy manifesting my desire but now I also have to check if they are really what I want. Then I have to do the work of making sure they come into being. And that might be the challenge. Taking the right action when there are all sorts of things I can choose to do. I’m being asked to be decisive. Not a good thing if, like me, you tend to procrastinate quite a bit.
However, the time for thinking is almost past. I have one more go round in this heavy energy before I start to put my creative talents into bringing in my dreams. September is launch time. In this heavy energy I need to rest, review and refocus all sorts of intentions. How about you? What will you do?
Day 609 of my blogging challenge
Rest is very important. It’s a point I make over and over when I’m mentoring. So today I’ve taken a rest day. And perhaps to give myself time to think.
Of course taking a holiday break gives me a chance to step back from my work. To move out of my life as it is and do something different. I also enjoy the time I get to reflect when I take a break. Because I can think about those things that are going right with my life. And what isn’t. Interesting these things often come up in the events of my holiday. Take noise for an example. I hadn’t realised how much I enjoy quiet time. At home and in my Centre I am very lucky to enjoy the absence of most noise whenever I want. Staying in a hostel full of noisy people has been a challenge. Rest has sometimes been hard to find.
The walls are very thin. The communal areas can get very busy. The doors bang continually in the morning as people get up, shower, have their breakfast and set off for the day. One or two late night parties have taken place overhead. When the silence descended today I breathed a sight of relief. I’ve had a couple of moments of praying for deafness. And of wondering if people are aware of being inconsiderate. I realise how precious silence has become to me. In the quiet I can tune into that inner voice of guidance. The Guides can draw closer. In this relaxed space we talk about all sorts of things.
I’ve also enjoyed a rest after all the walking. My body loves being active. Wind, rain or shine it doesn’t matter. Striding along gives me more time to think.
Ideas jump into my head. Wondering and wandering. Reviewing my life as a journey like my walking. The past couple of days I’ve enjoyed thinking about what my life would have been thousands of years ago. Probably lots more walking, of course, but still a journey from birth to death. Maybe a few more children than in this life. Probably grandchildren by now, if not great-grandchildren. Of course there might not have been much in the way of medical care so childbirth could have been a hazard. It reminded me that my body matters too.
After I watched the ferries arriving and departing this afternoon I sat down for a coffee. In a quiet cafe I sat with my Passion Planner to review last week. It’s something I do every Monday even if I’m on a rest day. I find the commitment to looking back over my week helps me shift any thoughts or feelings that I’ve got stuck with. It also clears my head for the week in front of me. The ferries got me thinking. When I am on a boat there is nothing to do but rest. Surrounded by all that water there is nowhere else to go. I am contained within the area of the boat. Like my life is contained in my diary most of the time.
I am contained by my passion for what I do. Yet I can also find those trips to other places that help me relax. As well as recharging my batteries taking time out refreshes my ideas and purpose for my life. Well deserved rest!
Day 602 of my blogging challenge
On the third day of my Open Studios event I got a chance to reflect on how I’ve changed. It was quiet this morning. I sat down to proof read my first book. And my past opened up.
It’s a bit strange proof reading about myself knowing that what I’ve written will be going out into the world. Not because I’m worried about what people will think. But because I can see how much I’ve changed. I know that we all change over time. And understand that my ‘me’ isn’t set in stone. My life experiences have pushed me through changes in a big or little way. It’s that I was seeing those changes from this point in time. And recognising the inner journey I have been on. It’s even that I’m different now to the me who began writing the book.
As if to make it really clear and give me more proof my first visitor started talking about the journey he was on. He had been helping a friend and realised that his friend was stuck. Trying to avoid making changes. But complaining about not getting anywhere with life. I listened as my visitor talked about his realisation. That making changes only happens when we are ready to shift our outer world around. I understood what he was saying. Having an inner journey of change has got me to where I am now. Because I changed inside my outer world changed too.
I guess that old saying ‘the proof of the pudding is in the eating’ applies. I can only check if the ingredients of my life have ‘baked’ a good life by experience it.
And that is where his friend was stuck. Intuitively recognising that change was needed. But doing nothing to make it happen. Because I know that trips most of us up. Wanting the dream yet stepping back from taking the necessary action. It’s as if I am frightened to imagine the ‘me’ I will be when the dream becomes a reality. Or to make the changes to ensure that the ‘me’ then enjoys the dream that’s been manifest. As I read about my journey I recognised that in my dream for the future I hadn;t thought about the ‘me’ I would be.
I’ve written a lot about wanting proof from Spirit in my book. How much I pushed for evidence. And how that evidence pushed me to change my beliefs. Because experiences I’d had couldn’t be dismissed. So I had to change inside so that I could keep following the path my intuition, and my Guides, laid out before me. Today I started to wonder what the ‘me’ will be like when my next set of dreams comes in. Who am I becoming? What parts of me have yet to emerge? I find those questions a little bit scary. Also a little bit exciting.
I’ve decided that whilst I take some time away from my desk over the next week or two I’m going to ask myself about those questions. Even allow myself to write down the ‘me’ I’m becoming. The one who will make the best of the dreams when I get them delivered to my doorstep.
Day 594 of my blogging challenge
I’m an air sign. Often I find myself floating off from life instead of being grounded into what is happening. Sometimes that means I will avoid my feelings until they burst out of me.
That can be volcanic. And scary. Plus taking other people completely by surprise. They wonder where all that fallout has come from. Certainly not from the present moment. Perhaps I should revisit what I’ve said. I used to be volcanic. Now I’m chilled. My air energy has found a connection to water. My feelings have become much more flowing and I find myself grounding them out instead of hanging on to them. How did this happen? Certainly not with the wave of a magic wand. But my journey into my spiritual side has had an enormous impact on the way I deal with my feelings.
I’m also rules by the planet Venus. She is the planet of love. But in my journey through life I have experienced an absence of love for a lot of the time. Something my air nature tended to waft me away from. But I need to clarify what that absence has been. I have always had love around me. And, as I thought, given love to others. Yet the one person I didn’t give much, if any, love to was myself. I preferred to skip over the bit about loving me. Thinking that to do so I had to be perfect. I didn’t understand that I could love my flaws as much as I could love my abilities. Learning to love me has been a long journey. Because I had to remember that loving is as easy as breathing. No wonder I have asthma. And feel like I’m drowning.
I struggled to let love into me from me. Like gasping for air I only grabbed little bits of love. And only for certain things that would prove I was a ‘good’ person.
Until one day I ran completely out of self love. I was down at the bottom of the murky ocean of life. I wanted a way out. Yet I struggled to understand that love was the air I needed to breath. Instead I felt full of hate. Then someone threw me a lifeline. Or should I say my Gatekeeper Guide stepped in. He wrapped me up in the energy of love. Carefully he nudged me into connections with people who radiated love. People who gave me a reason to continue swimming. I found hope again. Then I began the process of learning to love me fully. My Spirit rejoiced at the opportunity to engage fully with being human.
I learned to be grateful for me. Along with learning to forgive me for being me. And I finally realised that feeling were good things to have. My air nature might float me off but the love of my Guides kept me connected to the Earth. I started to find love for myself reflected in the people around me. They were sharing their love for me and I was finally listening. I felt myself sharing my love for them. We created loops and spirals of love around each other. My life became incredibly positive. Not challenge free. But I knew I could meet every test with courage because I loved myself enough to do so. What’s more I loved others enough to take the help they wanted to give me. Our bonds of love have been woven tightly together.
I’m no longer drowning. I breathe the air of love. Surrounded by loving people, some of whom have shared my day today, I am afloat in a wonderful world. Love yourself. Breathe the love. Share the love.
Day 581 of my blogging challenge