Making Dedicated Time For Each Other

This is my third day away from work. A step back from the Spirit World to dedicate time to myself and my loved ones.

I know how easy it to be focused completely on what I do for the Spirit World. Especially as I’ve found my passion for this work. I love what I do so it’s not easy at times to step back. Being dedicated to work is something I know I share with many other people who have found their life’s work. However it comes with a pitfall. A great big trap. I can be so much in the service of others who are strangers that I forget the people I live with. Today I took the opportunity to spend time with my daughter. Away from the topics we often talk about. Because she is fascinated by the Spirit World too. Also away from all of the normal college and education stuff that fills our lives right now.

So we spent our time together planning our summer break and making a list of all the places that would be exciting to visit. I don’t know if we will get to them all. That’s the thing about being dedicated to a cause, a life style or a way of being. The focus can be so narrow that other things fall by the wayside. Yet being dedicated also creates a strong energy that flows through my life. It’s a foundation stone of how I live. I feel that I have to be dedicated to more than one focus point so that I achieve some life-work balance. As in everything about life choices the best way forward is to balance my requirements with those of others. Something my Guides certainly understand and respect. If I haven’t taken time off it’s funny how they will always arrange it for me.

After all, my life is enriched by my connection to my family. So ensuring that I dedicate time to be with them, or by myself, and away from work is the way to give me the best of both worlds. A home life of contentment. And work I am delighted to do.

Day 553 of my blogging challenge 

Visions of the Future: For What Use?

I’m still on down time. So I’ve been rereading a book about visions. A fictional tale of a seer and oracle. It’s about her life and the ‘gift’ of foretelling.

It’s about a Greek seer, the oracle Cassandra. I read this book long before I became a medium. And certainly long before I understood how it might be possible to read waves of energy that were moving towards me. What fascinates me at the time was the way I was often told that I’d predicted something right. That what I hade said was the way things worked out. Since some of what I had ‘predicted’ wasn’t good news I often tried to say very little when asked for my opinion. The information didn’t come in visions either. It just seemed that in certain circumstances whatever I said came true.

When I started to understand psychic senses, intuition and mediumship I realised that it was possible to predict. But also that understanding what I was predicting was a challenge. As was knowing when what I said might happen – tomorrow or in ten years. There were dreams that seemed like visions. And daydreams too. Vivid scenes connected with strong feelings of events that I somehow knew were meant to happen. But all so confusing. There was never enough information. Having a vision isn’t enough. You have to be able to understand it. And that means interpreting what you get.

That is the problem with visions. Because they are open to interpretation it’s difficult to trust that you have got it right.

I had some long involved discussions with my Guides to try to understand why I had predictive sight. I kept asking what was the point. Especially if the information wasn’t clear enough. I guess like the seer in the book I also felt that reading the leading edge of energy was more of a curse than a gift. It took me ages to work out that I was working with future probables. Some events apparently can’t be changed. They are too distant or remote from my sphere of influence. All I can do is be ready to send healing and positive energy. From one human being to another.

Other events were up close and personal. I could improve the outcome if I was careful to respond from my spiritual side. My intuition would help me to anticipate the events. I could offer the best possible energy to help those situations be resolved in a better way. When I put this into practice I learned something very important. I have free will. So the future isn’t set in concrete. My intuitive psychic senses were there to help me make the best of any and all situations. Even those predicted to be the most challenging. When I finally took this on board I started to embrace my visions.

I wonder now how our world would be if we all embraced our psychic visions. If we applied that foretelling to our lives. And chose to do things a little bit differently. Because we knew it was the way to bring forward a more positive future. It certainly makes me think!

Day 552 of my blogging challenge 

Complete Retreat: A Day For Me

Yesterday I was glad to complete a spell of being really busy. Both practically and in my spirit work. It seemed perfect timing that I have three days off.

It’s also the case that I have had to complete a lot of unfinished business. Part of the clearing I’ve been doing all year has been to get myself unhooked from old energy. It’s certainly been time to put the past in the past. But doing that requires effort too. Looking back and cutting old energy ties stirs up emotions and memories. To complete that work has taken time and patience. All alongside of continuing to do the things my Guides put in front of me. Balancing serving others with serving myself. Although they are also turning my path in a new direction. Gently easing the letting go of old work with an influx of new work. I have to admit I’m still not sure where I’m headed but I know it’s somewhere.

So today I’ve taken the opportunity for a complete retreat. Stepping back from my phone, social media and all of the usual contact with my Guides. Instead I’ve been in a bubble of silence. Resting. Reading. Letting my mind wander. I’ve been put on pause and I’m glad of the chance to have this time. I’ve been around my home enjoying the feeling of not having to do anything at all. Except feed myself and the cats. To complete my day I’m doing my blog. Not actually because I have to. Although the blogging challenge matters to me. But because I can acknowledge to myself that I need solitude sometimes. I believe we all need some space to rest from the practicalities of life. And much more, we need space to step out of life for a while. I believe that’s when my mind can complete the process of ‘what next’ thinking.

Until I give myself time to myself I’m not letting myself be aware of the process I’m going through. Change can be wearisome. Time for me means I can recharge. Then I’ll be ready for more changes.

Day 551 of my blogging challenge 

Unhappy? Only in Passing Moments

It’s been another clearing day. What with Reiki and Meditation then a lovely discussion in the Drop In session. Has it been unhappy? No, not at all.

Although I have been clearing out more of my old paperwork and the stuff at the back of the cupboards. In amongst the lovely memories I found things that reminded me of times when I was unhappy. How strange to hang on to sadness like that, I thought. Did I intend when I put them away to keep reminding myself of unhappiness? If so then I’ve failed. The miscellaneous bits of paper, photos and items seemed very distant now. They happened in another life. In my past. And whatever the past I know I can’t change it from here and now.

But it also got me thinking about feeling unhappy. It’s a normal feeling caused for a variety of reasons. Often when my outward world fails to match my inner world in some way. When did I learn to move on from unhappiness? I know there were distinct periods of my life were the pursuit of happiness seemed just than. An endless round of ‘doing’ that never quite filled the sad or empty place inside me. I can recall years of being stuck in misery. Such deep unhappiness that I had no hope or desire for my life. Somehow I had the strength to pull myself through these times.

What shifted that unhappy feeling? So much that it’s now quite a rare thing for me to experience.

As I threw the unhappy memory stuff into a box I realised that I have learned to accept that  unhappiness is the shadow of happiness. Without one I could not experience or understand the other. I’ve discovered that being unhappy passes if I let it. If i acknowledge what I am feeling I can let it go. And I can also try to understand what assumptions were underneath that feeling. Because there is everything I actually require already in my life. Even if I can’t see or touch it. It’s there in the background waiting for me to notice. If I take a good look at my inner world.

I know that this is where my feelings really originate. Not from the outside world or others. But from the choices I make when processing what is happening to me. If I feel content, loved, peaceful and grateful then happiness follows. If I feel upset, deprived, angry, fearful or a victim then unhappiness is what I will get. Not from the causes of the outer world. But from what I choose to inflict on myself. I’ve written many times in my blogs that I have to learn to love myself. My life will only flow positively when I do that. Today as I released those memories I recognised that I don’t require them. I love myself. I am free to choose. So I choose happiness.

Day 550 of my blogging challenge

Time for a Good Memory Tidy Out

I wonder why I keep so much stuff? Today I found some time to try to have a clear out. Old debit cards, receipts and catalogues soon made a pile on the floor.

I know I have a habit of holding on to things. It’s as if I don’t trust my memory as time passes. Yet how often do I look back at those items? In a box were the bank papers from my mother’s death, the probate papers from my father’s along with some school records for my daughter. Piled in were old business accounts long past the ‘keep for tax purposes’ dates. Some programmes from the theatre. A 2008 magazine from a Spiritualist church. All packed away and never revisited. Certainly time to throw some of them away.

That’s what caught me though. I still feel like there are some items I can’t part with. Why? Thinking about that today as I sifted through the items I felt that some memories still have energy. They still ping for me. The papers for my mum, dad and daughter mostly stayed. The old programmes and magazines went into the recycling pile. Sometimes paper or objects are the closest I can get to the feel of that time. To the memories I want to keep fresh. It’s as if having something physical can help me hold onto that person and that time in my life. Especially when the people involved are no longer around.

I found I couldn’t throw away a card from a dear friend. He hasn’t been in my life for fifteen years. But the memories of the the time we shared are still vivid.

I wondered, as I put the card back in the box, when the time might come to throw it away. Perhaps when he has faded a bit further into the background of my life. Because that’s what happens. We share our time with one another. Then it’s time to move on. Ultimately, death is the great mover on. When I’m gone the stuff in the boxes will have no meaning really. The connections I made will fade genetly away. Except to those closest to me all the events of my life will disappear. I thought how fitting that was really. Life isn’t about great memorials or lasting legacies. It’s about experiences that make memories.

I find that a comforting thought. It means that I can relax and enjoy my life. I don’t have to be someone who leaves their mark. I can get on with doing what I do. It’s possible to be me without any ambition to be ‘someone’. Even this moment of writing this blog will fade. It’s impact will disappear. The thoughts I’ve held in my head today will be tidied away, stored for a while and then released. I will enjoy the memory of sharing tonight’s evening meal outdoors with my daughter for a while. Then that too will fade with time. Perhaps after all what matters is the moment. Is it a good one? It will be in my memory for a longer while if it is. Then other moments will gently replace it. Time to empty more stuff from my memory box!

Day 549 of my blogging challenge 

Speaking the Language of Love & Peace

It’s been a strange day. I woke up early speaking to someone who wasn’t there. I’d been dreaming about blissful loving energy being placed in my root chakra. I guess I was asking why.

Through my usual kind of day I felt a thread of energy winding it’s way into my consciousness. Speaking to people I found my words seemed to calm and reassure. Violent acts, the fear of aggression or war, wobble root chakra. That’s the energy centre dealing with my basic needs. The place where I feel safe and secure. Or the  place where I feel frightened or abandoned. I felt as if I had been given some extra energy to help me stand steady against the waves of uncertainty and fear created by the bomb blast in Manchester.

And also to help process the waves of grief from that event. I found myself sending out love and healing energy on a constant basis. Fuelled, I feel, by the loving energy I received in my dream. As I was getting ready to go and do a service I felt guided to pick up some tea light candles. I took them with me knowing that with each message I also had to offer a candle. My Guides explained that it was the light of hope. That is what had gone out of my part of the world on Monday. Hope had been dimmed. So speaking for the Spirit people tonight I also had to rekindle hope.

As I worked I also thought about the conversation I had with someone today. It’s easy when grieving or shocked to say harsh words.

Fearful or hate-filled words. It’s a reaction to what has happened. But it is also sending out energy that is the wrong vibration. Angry, violent or abusive comments create more of the same energy. So although it’s really difficult I know it’s important to watch how I am speaking. To consider my words carefully. And to make sure that in honouring my feelings I’m not creating more misery. I know it’s difficult. We all want solutions. Speaking out about what has happened is important. As is trying to prevent it happening again. But in speaking about acts of terrorism or aggression I feel we have to be very careful not to make the situation worse.

Thus I have to find loving and peaceful words with which to discuss and build a solution. Talking about a ‘war’, ‘segregation’, ‘sending people back’ or ‘it’s their fault’ continues the wobble in root chakra. It’s only when I start to talk about forgiveness, understanding and compassion that the best of me can be expressed. If I can speak of hope I can hold the idea that peaceful solutions are possible. Because unless I can dream that vision I have very little chance of manifesting it. Of making it so. The language I use right now is vital. Even in grief I have to find the power of hope so I can create a positive future. The big challenge is for me not just to say it once but for me to keep changing what I say until I express love and peace in all my words.

Day 548 of my blogging challenge 

All Children of the World Need Our Love

It’s been a very hard day. Children have been the target of violence once again. There was a horrific bombing in Manchester, a place I know well, and so much grief as lives were shattered.

How to respond to the lone killer? What to do? How to stop this violence? Part of me was feeling the futitility of looking for needles in a haystack. Another part of me was connecting to the incoming wave of energy to increase the positive flow. I know that in my shock, disbelief and grief it would be easy to say that whoever killed the children was the worst kind of human. I would hope that if I had the power to launch missiles I would refuse. Because there are so many back stories to this tragedy. This is a massive failure of love. Lives lost because of division, hate and justifications of morally reprehensible actions.

What do I mean? As I processed the events in Manchester I thought about all of the children who are on the planet right now. Across the world children suffer on a daily basis whilst the adults around them wage war in one another. Sometimes a war of words. Often a war of economics. Certainly a war of violent bombing and sudden death. Even a war of sexual abuse. I feel we have ignored these wars in our own communities to our cost. The person radicalised to make this attack, whatever their religion, birthplace, culture, was manipulated by a victim psychology. When I refuse to listen to the stories of others I am part of that victimisation. If I refuse to address the inequality and hate others suffer I am part of that victimisation.

Hate is such an easy emotion to share. Based in fear, all sorts of fears, hate can be dished out to anyone and everyone who I mark out as different. Hate creates the backdrop against which someone drives themselves to kill.

Every bomber was a child once. It might be simplistic to say that but it’s true. I don’t believe that children are born evil. I believe that our experiences and the people who surround us shape our futures. There are always choices. But if you have been in the middle of a war zone for so long that it has become normal your choices might be very different than those of a child who has been safe. A war zone doesn’t have to be actual bombs and bullets. Words can create a war zone inside a child’s head. Adults preaching them and us, blaming certain sections of the community or remembering the injustices of many years gone by. These are hooks to hang hate on.

So alongside the people who were killed and injured yesterday evening, and the many events before that, I also want to place all of those children who have died. It is perhaps my greatest grief. That we do so little for so many defenceless, vulnerable future adults. They are our future. The seeds of last night were sown a long time ago. And until we start to accept that we will continue to experience violence as the last resort of the oppressed. This is nothing as simple as saying the violence belongs to one group, one faith system, one country or one gang. That all we have to do is eradicate that group, faith, country, gang. The very act of blitzing one group will create more martyrs to new causes.

What about the children then? How can I ever bring an end to the cycle of viloelnce? Something must change.

What I feel has to change is our response. It’s time to listen to the stories of all those who feel dispossessed, alienated and victimised. Compassion and love have to enter into this process. I believe we have to face our liking for division. It gives us something to blame when life goes badly. Then I know we have to put aside our focus on differences and start to acknowledge our sameness. The hardest part will be finding love. Strong, powerful love that says ‘not in my name’. The kind of love that refuses to strike back indescriminately at everyone and everything. A love that reminds us that we too can overcome hatred. Because we love ourselves enough to see that it’s the only way forward.

I know it’s also time to respect and cherish each and every child in the world. To offer children our protection, support and encouragement. I’m the adult who is responsible for creating a better, safer world for the children in it. It’s important that I remember that so I can do everything possible to challenge hate. Words aren’t enough. I have to put into action my promise to the children being born. It’s time for all of us to end their suffering. To stand as grown ups and demand change so that children’s rights are respected. To ensure that our elected representatives are working to put our children first. Respect for the basic rights of children must become our first call. These children are the future. With love and hope they can end the hate. But we have to do it first.

There are families grieving all over world today. There are parents who are holding their children a little bit closer. Tragedies unite us. Surely it’s time to be united in love for all children before the next tragedy has a chance to strike.

Day 547 of my blogging challenge 

Why Bother? Nothing Changes. Ever!

One of the things I often talk about is why I bother. In discussions about life it’s easy to tell myself I don’t care. Yet I know I do.

I’m sure I signed up to come here for the chocolate. Perhaps the alcohol too. Even some of the people who have been in my life. But I’m certain I didn’t sign up for struggles or challenges. At least I tell myself I didn’t. I have to admit that at times I’ve certainly adopted a ‘why bother’ approach to my life. Especially when I’ve felt that no one is listening. Or helping. And nothing is changing. The interesting thing about that attitude is that it gives me permission to moan about my life without actually requiring me to do anything about it. That’s convenient. I can blame the outer world for being crap without ever having to think about my inner world.

Of course that’s not necessarily a helpful way to live my life. Not bothering can keep me very stuck. And miserable. Because I do care. Deep inside I want life to be happy and full of interest. I thought about this today when I was doing healings. It came to mind because the people I was working with quite clearly wanted their lives to change. They didn’t want to be stuck any more. Whatever barriers were there they wanted to remove them so that they could bother about their lives again. I noticed that all of them were ready to do inner work to make that happen. And it reminded me that when I get involved in changing myself my outer world changes too.

That point came up again later. I watched people on TV say they would not bother to register to vote. Their reason? Nothing changes.

I felt once again that this is a short sighted way of dealing with our world. A vote is my voice. It’s my chance to say I care enough about my outer world that I will make sure I express myself. I’m saying I do want to bother. Even if the result is that nothing appears to change on the surface. Underneath I am telling myself that I matter. I’m even giving myself encouragement to make my voice heard again and again. In the end maybe I’ll even feel bothered enough to stand for elections. Or work to bring about a different voting system. I know my good friend Cathy has been bothered enough to take that step. She recognised that our voices are valuable. They need to be expressed.

It also reminded me that I’ve been through plenty of human lives. No doubt I’ll be bounced back in again after this one. Why bother, you may ask. What is the point of life after life if nothing changes? That’s where I feel it’s really important to care. If I keep changing for the better life after life one time I might not have to come back. Ever. My work will be over. In the end I realise that the changes might happen very slowly. I watched An Inspector Calls, a play by J B Priestly, tonight with my daughter. It’s set in 1912. Yet so many of the issues raised in the play are still with us in 2017. Women have a vote, if they choose to use it, but not a voice. Certainly not equal pay or opportunity or respect.

That’s a good reason to bother. Creating an equal society happens when all of us bother. When we care enough to use the ways we have to say it like it is. And to press for change if nothing changes. Please care enough to be the change.

Day 545 of my blogging challenge 

Personality Cult: A Spiritual Answer

Why did my Past Lives workshop bring up the idea of a personality cult? Sometimes when I’m working my Guides throw in extra ideas. Today they wanted to remind me how deeply rooted some patterns can be.

Helping other people find out the karmic patterns that are currently affecting their lives is really rewardsing. It can explain why someone has a particular aspect of their personality. Or why they might have chosen to experience certain events in their lives. I know that understanding my past lives has helped me to make better choices in this life. Choices to love more. Share more. Be the best me I can be. As I balance off each karmic strand I am preparing myself for improved choices next time round. But there is one question I always run into. What happens if I know the best choices but decide not to make them?

What if, instead of thinking for myself, I get drawn into the cult of personality? Either my own or someone else’s? I have been thinking about this kind of cult all week. Mainly because of the election of Donald Trump as President of the USA and the forthcoming elections here in the UK. In times of fear people look for a strong leader. Someone they think can take control and change things for the better. Their vulnerability leads them to trust in the words of the voice that shouts the loudest. That person believes in themselves so strongly there is no room for arguement. Anyone who disagrees must be bad. Yet a strong leader who goes unchallenged may become autocratic and authoritarian.

There is a lesson for me in this. My personality must always remain open to challenge. Not only by other but by myself too.

Only by remaining self-aware can I deal with the potential to believe myself so totally in the right that I ignore or attack others. Again I am thinking about the example of Donald Trump. His campaign very heavily criticised and vilified Hilary Clinton. It descended into the policitcs of personality. A cult view requiring all the members of his following to demand that ‘crooked Hilary’ be put in jail. Without any trial, reason or evidence. Simply on the say so of this cult leader. I wonder what happened to innocent until proven guilty. People seem blind to the inconsistencies of this. Reacting to ‘do as I say, not as I do’. And also operating with the same closed mind as their leader.

How can I deal with this? This person has the power to affect my life in some ways. What is the spiritual response? My past lives have helped me with this. Because I am aware enough to question the cult of personality. I have learned through my own past life experiences of abuse of power so I notice it in this life. To watch for it in myself. And to look at what people do rather than listen to what they say. I’ve also learned not to be blinded by the hype surrounding leaders. Listening to the polictical discussions in the UK at the moment I’m very aware that the cult of personality is running the show. That’s why Teresa May is the focus of media attention busy portraying herself as a strong leader. Although her policies seem to have no substance. Whilst Jeremy Corbyn is standing in the Hilary Clinton role.

How do I deal with this challenge? What can I do to reach the best spiritual decision about my response to the cult of personality?

I will be living with the consequences of the choices that are made by others. So one thing I can do is to remind people to look at the actions of all of the candidates. I can also encourage debate with my friends and family about personality politics. Sometimes it’s important to remind myself that we all have prototypes in our past. The mistakes we made whilst finding out who we are and what our values are. Also that I am a different person than I was at 20, 35 or 48. Hopefully a better, more experienced, wiser person. What is important is whether I keep my promises and speak my truth. How do these leaders measure up? Then I can make the best choice I can and accept that my choice may not be the one that wins.

There is one more thing I can do. I can talk to my daughter and her friends about the cult of personality. It is a human response to fear and uncertainty. A strong leader can entice people to say and do things they never thought they would. And to very much regret it later. When it’s too late. Actually there  is a lot we can all do. Educating our children and young people so that they can think and act for themselves. Teaching them that they are strong even when life is at it’s worst. Strengthening their sense of self and self-love. Explaining to them that ‘borrowing’ the strength from another for a short while can help. But becoming dependent on someone else to take responsibility for thier life is a trap.

I know that when we all love ourselves enough to care for the vulnerable in society before ourselves the cult of personality will die out. There will be no need for empty words and broken promises. Because we won’t be talking. We will be doing.

Day 544 of my blogging challenge 

Rights, Responsibilities and Choice

I love the way my blog emerges from my day. There was a lot of talk today about rights and choices. Perhaps not so much about responsibilities though.

Strands of conversations intertwined around what I have the right to do. Or even if I have some spiritual rights to consider when making choices. Alongside that was another strand. If I have a right surely I have a responsibility? Even a spiritual responsibility to exercise my rights carefully? One of the things highlighting my thoughts was a speech I was at given by Jeremy Corbyn. Along with most of the Western World, it seems, the UK is in the process of a election. Do we choose the strong leader or the authentic leader? The one who talks about fear or the one who suggests collaboration? Is it an issue of Brexit, immigration or refugees? The debate swirls back and forward. Somehow I have to choose.

It’s very clear that I have rights. I can vote. There are opportunities for me to join the debate. Read up on the candidates and parties. I can have my say by placing a tick in a box. But I also have responsibilities. I have to consider what is best for me, for my family and for my community. All before I get to thinking about what is best for a whole country. How to exercise my rights responsibly? Do I go for the me requires or the greater good desires? How do I sort out who will deliver the rights we all expect in the most responsible way? Sometimes it seems like a very tough choice. Especially when I want to manifest a life for our children’s children’s children to enjoy. So whose rights do I consider right now?

That’s an interesting point. And one that was highlighted very clearly as I waited to hear Jeremy Corbyn speak.

It’s easy to assume that our needs are superior to other people. To demand that we get what we want. Even at the expense of others. In a packed room with everyone wanting to be at the front it was never going to be possible. There had to be a lot of give and take. Some people were generous and acted responsibly. Some didn’t. Yet each of us has a choice in the way we claim our position. As I stood back and observed it seemed to me that the choices each person made reflected the reality of this election. It will never be possible for everyone to agree. We are too focused on defending our right at the moment. But ducking the responsibility too.

Later this evening I was discussing the view that we are Energy Beings first and foremost. That what we give out we get back. I feel that I have a responsibility to manage my energy in such a way that it sits well with my spiritual values. Because I have the right to believe what I believe. And my actions have to, as much as possible, reflect my values. So when I choose who to vote for it is my private decision based on what I feel is best in alignment with my values. In the end there will be a result. Whatever that result I will have exercised my right and need to take responsibility for continuing to do the best I can in a somewhat fear-filled world.

I hope that life will continue much as it always has. I hope that our children inherit a better world than it feels to be at present. And I hope that we all recognise that along with rights come responsibilities.

Day 539 of my blogging challenge