Old Feelings Rising To The Surface

Yesterday I wrote about wobbles. The natural result of feelings coming to the surface. As I got into bed last night I realised that I had been feeling scared. Only I had no idea why.

That set me off on a little journey today. Trying to work out what, if anything, I had in my life that I was scared of. Although I thought about it for a while I still felt that this feeling was a bit random. It had come to the surface of my thoughts so I wanted to pay it some attention. Yet I felt stuck with identifying what it really was. I know that I can release my feelings easily once I decide to do so. But this had me a bit stumped. An important step was giving myself the time to think it through. But I knew I also had to go into the feeling itself to see if I could place it better.

I decided to sit quietly in my healing room and meditate for a short while. Taking those few moments I allowed the feeling to surface more fully. I could sense that the fear was around my self-esteem. Somewhere in my life some energy had got stuck. Perhaps I’d been unable to express this fear to anyone. Or the situation, whatever it was, meant that I locked the feeling away behind a closed door in my mind. It may have been that whoever else was involved had more powerful energy than me. As I slowly peeled back the layer of energy it seems that it was something very early in my life. Coming to the surface was something I had no thoughts about. Because it was in the time before I thought.

Children start to develop the ability to think around the age of seven. Before that they feel more than think. Under the surface of their conversations they are processing with their emotions instead of their minds.

Tracking down what inspired a fear becomes much more of a challenge when reaching back into childhood. However the meditation allowed me to be in the feeling. I could surface it enough to recognise that I was scared of being in the spotlight. It made sense. I have mixed feelings about being a public medium. I love making the connections to pass on messages. That feeling of being of service to others. But I also want to have a private life with my own opinions and views. This ambivalence comes straight from that fear. As a child I remember being told lots of things that made me feel I was pushing myself forward. And ‘good’ children don’t do that.

As I surfaced from my meditation I felt much more positive about that fear. Because I knew I could let it go. It doesn’t fit as a part of me any more. That’s the great thing about the energy that is around at the moment. I’m being helped to free myself from restrictions that I might not even know I’m applying to myself. I’m looking forward to the New Moon to help my fear on it’s way in the process of being transformed. That’s the key to the new me. Letting myself find and remove any stuckness. Transforming my life bit by bit. Through transforming me. I love this process. It’s bringing the best of me to the surface. That really is exciting. I wonder how I’ll turn out?

Day 578 of my blogging challenge 

Loving Community: An Aim For All

Loving community. That idea popped up again today as I channelled the ArchAngels in my  Letters From The Light Side video.

I grew up in a loving community. Sharing with each other was the natural response to all sorts of circumstances. Embracing newcomers they were quickly taken into our community. Not perfectly. But always with the understanding that as a street, a group of streets, we had a connection with each other. I remember the births, marriages, deaths, troubles and joys of this vibrant place. I couldn’t get up to much mischief as everyone knew who I was. It was like I had thirty or forty parents instead of my Mum and Dad. I was never far away from someone who would keep an eye on me. I learned to love the idea of being part of a community.

It was second nature to share with others in their good fortune or tragedy. I ran errands, scrubbed steps and played in the gardens all over the area. I felt safe and secure. Yes, everyone knew my business but that was a small trade off for that sense of belonging. As I grew up that sense of community seemed to disappear. We moved to a new neighbourhood. The people I knew were a long way away. It took a long time to become part of the new community. I’m not saying they were any less loving but it was a bit more judgemental. Although I eventually found my feet in this community I felt inside that I’d lost something I needed to find again.

A loving community takes care of and enfolds all it’s members. Vulnerable or struggling people have support and kindness. Each person offers what they can.

So I wondered today where that sense of community had gone. Because I feel it is missing in so many ways right now. I learned to love the loving community I grew up it. It taught me how to be a citizen of the world. It was diverse and vibrant. Never perfect but always good enough for all of it’s members. Yet it seems now that only tragedy brings people together. At the worst of times we do show our best. But what about those times between tragedy? I feel fortunate to live in another community where there is a very positive attitude to diversity. Difference is encouraged and enjoyed. I know that my home community isn’t perfect. But on a daily basis we are good to one another. Not everyone has the same experience.

Loving kindness is in short supply in some areas. I’ve certainly lived in one or two in my life. There seems to be no desire to emphasise community. And I feel that is spreading. The last few months have shown how divided we are as a country. The ‘big’ community we all live in. Perhaps it’s also because it seems division has taken hold across the global community of humanity. Yet we are all part of a global community of Spirit. Under the skin I know we are all the same. Why has that been forgotten? Or, at least, let drift out of our consciousness. I believe that we have to return to being loving communities. I also feel we have to learn to love that community feeling once more.

It’s time to remind ourselves that we all want the same out of our lives. To remember the loving kindness that makes a strong and peaceful community work well. I know we have to stop acting only for ourselves and start creating a shared, equal and positive vision for the future. An aim for all of us?

Day 570 of my blogging challenge

Inner Work to Change the Outer World

As the moon starts to wain it’s a good time for inner work. This was the inspiration from my Intuitive Connections Group today.

I believe in looking at the world as energy. I am energy. Everyone else is energy. In fact everything we experience, physical and non-physical, is the manifesting of energy. So feelings, thought and words are energy too. When I look at things this way I also look at my inner world. The energy that fills my mind. What thoughts am I having? What feelings am I feeling? And what words do I use or have I taken from others to define who I am?  Because sometimes the energy I give room to in my inner world is less than positive. Maybe the shadow side of me, the place where all of the uncomfortable or low vibrational thoughts and feelings are stored, also contains judgements that I apply to myself.

Incorrect judgements. Opinions that make my inner world a challenging place. Or where I block my own energy flow and end up denying myself positive energy. This means that when I send out my requests for abundance to flow in to me it doesn’t really happen. My inner world is sending out mixed energy signals. It also means that I am attracting energy into my life that may mirror the low vibrational energy in me. Instead of positive experiences I may draw to me all of the things I fear or dislike. Sometimes I may even choose not to notice these mirror images. Perhaps I feel it will be too difficult or painful to root out all of these wrong judgements. Especially if the energy attached to them is very strong.

My inner world stays in chaos instead of peace. I keep running into situations that distress me. I wonder why I can’t have a happy life.

And I keep saying that my outer world is causing the inner turmoil. The past haunts me. The present challenges me. And the future looks bleak. That is the point when I am required to look again. I have to be brave enough to see my inner world as clearly as possible. I know that we struggle sometimes to see the good in ourselves. Often because we have been told not to be arrogant or big-headed. Yet until I look at my virtues as much as I judge myself from my vices I won’t be able to change my outer world. That’s because I will keep on expecting the same. Giving out energy that produces the landscape I have inside of me.

When I get stuck in this way I try my best to remind myself of the good in my inner world. Of the positive energies in my life and in me. I focus on being good enough for the day I’m in and I keep my attention on what I’m doing in the moment. Of course I have to address all of those judgements in my head. And that’s where the waning moon energy is useful. I imagine all of the low vibrational energy fading away just like the moon disappearing from view. Encouraging myself to identify what is creating turmoil in my inner world I embrace that the past is the past. I try as much as possible to forgive myself for being a human who gets it wrong sometimes. And I re-call all the energy I have given out that was not what I wanted to send into the outer world.

Asking for the return of the low vibrational energy helps me to let it go. It was mine to start with and I can release it more positively than when I first sent it out. All I have to do is love myself. And make it my desire to send out more love to the outer world.

Day 566 of my blogging challenge 

Crystal Child: See Them Through The Fear

I love how my reading clients bring the themes for blogs. Today it’s about a Crystal child. Mine and all the others who are gently bringing their love to the Earth.

I’ve written before about Crystal children, not just because I am a parent of one, but to help us all see the hope we are being given at this time. So look here for info about understanding your Crystal child, here for considering their needs and here for a debate about their education. Today in Blackburn I saw several people who have Crystal children in their families. It seemed the Spirit World wanted to let them know that their child would be ok as they grew up but also to give these lovely people some pointers for how to help. Because the greatest challenge of all is that these children are different. And enjoy being different whilst frustrated with us for not knowing how to help them.

So what is a Crystal child? They are generally born from 2000 onwards (though this is not a fixed boundary so you need to understand the nature of a Crystal before deciding if you have got one). These children are incredibly loving towards those who show them love. They reject anyone who is being false or has closed energy. Crystals also love the planet and animals. It’s likely that, at the moment, they will care more for both of those than for humans because we carry a lot of negative, stuck energy. We also pay them little attention. Think how many children we ignore even through we know of their plight. I know they are frustrated at having to live through childhood again. Old souls struggle to be young humans.

A Crystal child has aura energy aligned to the vibration of the crystals of the Earth. Rose Quartz, Tourmaline, Carnelian and the other vibration levels are all represented amongst the range of Crystal children.

Each child is here for a specific purpose which is tied in closely with regenerating the Earth. They do this by using their intuitive psychic abilities. They are the original Crystal Singers. And that’s the issue. Sometimes these children are over sensitive because they have forgotten to close down to negativity. Depending on their crystal type they react with discomfort to certain kind of energy from other people. Or even their own energy. Having been away from being human for a long time it’s quite a shock for them to have to learn to have emotions again. Some Crystal children struggle so much to deal with emotional energy that they shut down altogether. Unless they are around other Crystal children or those adults who can transmit enough Love energy for them to feel comfortable.

So how do I help my Crystal through the fear she finds at being stuck in such a low vibrational place? And my fear that I can’t help her have a good life because I don’t know what to do? I found out early on that I have a rose quartz child. So we have lots of that crystal at home. She also carries some for emergencies. I have worked to keep my energy loving and positive. Not so easy when all that fear crowds in. Yet if I am calm and relaxed so is she. I give praise all the time. She reacts to criticism or harsh words as if it was an acid burn. That’s because she can’t understand why we humans do such nasty things to one another. And she can ‘feel’ the energy of every word. Something most of her teachers never could understand.

But I have also had to tackle another kind of fear. In myself and around her. As well as in her.

I was starting to purposefully develop my own psychic abilities when I became pregnant. When my child was born I realised that there was a lot more going on than I expected. She showed clear signs of psychic intuitive ability. And a spiritually that dumbfounded me. She was too young, surely, to understand what she was saying. But she did. She was also busy healing anyone who came within her reach who had an open heart. When she introduced me to a group of Spirit children and told me they were her playmates I decided I really had to get up to speed with my own abilities. How else could I understand her world if I wasn’t prepared to go into it myself?

Getting myself sorted has been a major benefit. As I learned who my Guides were I released a lot of religious fear about Energy Beings that I didn’t really realise I had. I learned to deal with other people’s scepticism about ‘talking to the dead’. Experiencing all sorts of phenomena for myself but knowing who was producing it stripped me of the fear of the unknown. Because I knew what it was. Or I knew who to ask if I wasn’t sure. Scary films about spooky goings on got boring. After all I could have as much contact as I wished. And without all the drama that gets chucked into the film script. So I was also ready for the taps and bangs, objects disappearing and new ones being dropped off and the gang of Spirit people who wanted my daughter to pass on messages.

I helped her to refuse the contact except with her Guides. We went through a time of sorting out who was a Guide and who wasn’t. And helping her to learn how to use her physical senses as much as her psychic ones.

Knowing stuff also helped me explain things to her. When she was taken by surprise by other people’s feelings, or Spirit popping in at school, or even why she saw shadows around people. She learned not to be afraid of asking questions either which meant we could deal with things quickly. Of course as a medium I was able to take her to the places I worked. Here she was surrounded by people who thought talking to Spirit people was normal. I’m grateful that I could do that for her as it put her in positive energy about her own abilities. We consolidated her healing energy too. I made her up to Reiki Master level as soon as I felt she was able to take on the ethical understanding of healing.

There have been times at school where the energy has been a real challenge. A Crystal child often finds that other people regard them as differently abled or oddball in some way. I know it can be hard for a Crystal child to ‘fit in’. Because they aren’t meant to follow on with the way we raise our children by Victorian values. Feeling different can bring another type of fear too. The one about not being accepted or liked. Especially when listening to peers talk about spooky stuff in a fearful way. How do you say you hear voices to friends who may turn round and say you are possessed? Or that you can see the Spirit lady in the classroom when most people would view this as a haunting to be frightened of?

And if you can’t say this stuff who can help you understand it and get a handle on it?

That’s what everyone around a Crystal child has to help with. Being open minded enough to encourage all children to discuss their psychic experiences without showing fear. Adults can get up to speed. Learn what intuitive abilities are all about. Even start to find out about their own. Please move out of the fear that something bad is wrong with your child. Instead embrace their Crystal nature. You will find a treasure trove of love if you do.

Day 558 of my blogging challenge

Choosing To Use Intuitive Abilities

I’ve said many times before that I believe everyone has intuitive abilities. We are all psychic. That means we can read other people, energy waves and Energy Beings.

A long time ago I remember the late Colin Fry saying the same thing. But he made one important point – one that I agree with wholeheartedly – that not everyone was ready to use their abilities yet. He talked about the discipline and development that I believe we all need to go through to understand what we are doing. I feel it’s like giving someone three driving lessons then letting them loose on the motorway. Something none of us would dream of doing or encouraging. I’ve been thinking about this today because I often get contacted by people who are experiencing contact with Energy Beings. But those people don’t really understand what’s happening.

Often they have become frightened in a fascinated way by the contact they are having. I suppose it’s like the reason we like to watch horror or danger movies. Human beings get an adrenaline rush from feeling fear. So a mildly scary encounter of any kind can feel like an exciting event too. That’s where I get called in though. because the encounters are acknowledged the Energy Beings get more active and the person experiencing them reaches a point of being too scared all of a sudden. I should also say that acknowledging contact tends to make intuitive senses develop more. So, as might be expected, the person concerned starts to see, hear, feel and know more.

Intuitive psychic abilities are like any other muscles. With work they get stronger. The more effort you make the more you will get.

Until the adrenaline rush of fear becomes too uncomfortable. Then people tend to want to turn off the switch. Or at least turn it down. Yet they might find they can’t if the draw of the adrenaline is stronger than the fear being generated, I know that people panic at this point. They think the Energy Beings will go away for good or become too strong or unpleasant. People still want to have the contact. But not in an uncontrolled way. And I know that this push & pull creates more difficulty because in trying to re-establish control the person is still foundering around out of control.

So what do I tell someone who is using their abilities but in a confused or muddled way? Perhaps even relying on misinformation or fake ‘facts’? I’m sure we all know that not everything on the internet is from a reliable source. For me the first thing is not to panic. That energy only makes things worse. Second I ask the person to think carefully about why they want the connection to Energy Beings. I know it’s not an easy thing to master because, in the end, you have to master yourself and your fear. If someone is not ready to adopt a disciplined approach to their psychic senses I suggest they shut themselves down. Not to do so is inviting more chaos into their lives.

For those who really are ready and want to use their abilities I suggest finding a good teacher. Or a place that offers a safe way to learn.

We are all learning. It’s important to accept that and find someone who feels like they know what they are doing to show you how to develop your senses. I normally start by explaining energy work then build in experiences to back up that information. To me finding someone who can explain things clearly and simply is a must. It’s not about mystery or superstition and a good teacher should start from where you are. Be prepared for leaps forward and steps back. For joyful connections and frustrating mis-connections. A good teacher will support you through all of this.

I also caution my students that this work will change the inner you. As well as the outer you. I know that experiencing the positive connection with Energy Beings brings in it’s wake a lot of reconstruction work. As a sceptic I had to pull down all of my assumptions and rebuild from conviction. It became impossible for me to deny the exsistence of the Beings who now guide and inspire me. So an open, questioning mind and a flexible outlook are vital. After all, my abilities, if I’m honouring them, have brought me challenges, change and certainty. To the point where I now know for certain that we are all intuitive and have psychic senses. Using my abilities has removed self-doubt, doubt about my purpose or point in being human and my doubt about an Afterlife.

All good reasons to develop my abilities. But most of all I have no doubt that I am an eternal being. That has removed perhaps the biggest fear of all – that of dying.

Day 557 of my blogging challenge 

Is It More In Sorrow Than In Anger?

A couple of my conversations today turned out to be about anger. And how negative that emotion can be.

I do believe that anger serves a purpose. It is a store of energy that can be put to good use. For instance, if there was an injustice happening then feeling anger might get me to become involved in some form of peaceful protest. I would be turning the energy into an action. So long as I thought about it carefully my action would be a measured response. Because the point is not to aim the anger energy at anyone, even myself, but to do things to change the status quo. That’s the point. Anger turned inwards can become depression. Whilst anger turned at others can become aggression. Whether attacking self or others anger can set up a negative cycle of ever increasing energy. Feeling wronged becomes the justification for ever more attacks. Yet it’s going nowhere. Nothing changes.

During my discussions it highlighted for me the need to step out of the anger/blame game.  My energy is precious. I have lots to get on with in my life. So getting sidetracked by anger is a distraction. A long time ago I learned that releasing anger as quickly and finally as possible was important. That’s when I discovered how useful it could be in reshaping my life. Later I realised that I didn’t want to carry any stuck negative energy from others either. This was about the time my Guides really came on board with me. They helped me to strengthen my own aura enery whilst I learned the discipline of cleaning and protecting my own energy system from the energy of others. They also helped me to think more carefully about the energy exchange that might be taking place.

If I responded with anger would I be responding appropriately? Or would it mean my positive energy would be traded for negative energy? Also, what was happening for the other person?

That’s when I rembered something a lovely friend, Mary, told me many years ago. She reminded me that anger comes when I take things personally. Therefore I had to step out of the events and consider the big picture. In that way I would learn to respond to anger with an attitude of ‘more in sorrow than in anger’. It was a way of staying out of the anger/blame game. Her wise words have come back to me many times. So as I worked through my lessons about energy with my Guides I reminded myself often that there is another side to anger. It’s about someone becoming stuck. Going round and round in a negative spiral. Feeling that the world is at fault. When really there is an inner gap that is never filled.

I know this is true because at times certain times in my life I have been an angry person. When grief has hit me, when life has disappointed me or when I’ve felt like I’ve let myself down. The emotion has given me energy. But it has sometimes taken away my clarity. I’ve been blind to the truth of a situation, or a person or an issue. Looking at the big picture I know that it’s sad to be stuck in anger to the point that moving on becomes difficult or impossible. So when I encounter anger nowadays I think about the energy. Do I want to engage in an exchange that might be even more harmful? Or that may feed someone’s stuckness? Or can I let any feelings I have go so that I can move on? Even if they can’t.

There are events happening in the world today based on so much anger. So much blame. And not much sorrow that it’s got to posturing and aggression. It’s time to step back from the negative impact of our anger and make it work for us. Time to turn the energy into peaceful action for change.

Day 542 of my blogging challenge 

A Spiritual Test : When the “victim” is the aggressor

It wasn’t until I began to study counselling that I really started to understand the difference between victim and survivor. Or that these two words reflected a world of difference in how we choose to live our lives.

I guess you could say I’ve spent  most of my life slipping between both those positions trying to find a comfortable balance. Mostly hitting my head against resentment. Occasionally finding a position where I could exercise forgiveness. Finally realising that what matters is my authentic self. My truth. With a healthy dose of personal responsibility thrown in to balance out my rights. In working through this particular spiritual test I’ve also embraced the victim in me. And turned her into a survivor. Better than that, I’ve turned her into a ‘loud and proud’ voice for my beliefs. Best of all, I let my actions follow my words. Because I know this is the way to work from my heart centre.

So why the victim? In my experience there are a range of reasons why I or someone would identify themselves as a victim. Of course we have all had experiences where we feel that we have suffered some harm or abuse at the hands of others. Unfortunately that does happen and I won’t ignore that bad behaviour and treatment does happen far too often. However, it’s when we get stuck in defining all of the events in our life as being ‘done’ to us i.e being powerless, helpless, that a victim playing pattern begins to emerge. The person concerned, for whatever reason, turns all challenges, prohibitions and no’s into another justification for reacting as if they were a victim.

The boundary between the outer world and the inner world becomes distorted. Sadly if the label victim is embraced by the person eventually everyone else becomes the ‘enemy’.

This is where aggression can further distort the perception of the victim. Because the person is defending a belief in powerlessness everything becomes a battle to assert power. Whether the facts support the assertion or not. Aggressive words and actions follow in an effort to reclaim the ‘lost’ power. Except that this response often reinforces the sense of powerlessness when the other person/people respond. In this distorted energy circle it can be really hard to break through a victim mentality. Which is where the word survivor can be of real use. I have had all sorts of bad experiences. In order to move on from a feeling of powerlessness I have had to consider my life events from a different point of view.

I’ve become a survivor. This is a powerful way to define myself. It acknowledges that bad things have happened. At the same time it gives me a sense of myself as able to cope, powerful enough to get through all of the consequences and become whole again. Whole but different. It also removes any sense of guilt or shame that I was powerless. What I have experienced will have reshaped who I am. But not to my detriment. Survivors endure, persevere, are resilient. If I hold this self image I can continue to experience the world without bitterness or fear. There will be no need for my behaviour to be as if everyone else is an aggressor. I will also be able to respond naturally to the aggression of others with kindness. Perhaps even understanding. Rather than perceiving threats everywhere. As a survivor I will be able to handle conflict and confrontation.

Understanding the difference became a cornerstone of my counselling practice as I supported many people who moved from victim to survivor. Then I started to wonder what the spiritual significance of victimhood represented.

Why did I want to experience this particular life view? Especially more than once! What purpose did it serve? Of course it took me ages to understand why I was choosing to use this energy. It was all about use and abuse of power. Another recognition came quickly after that. Sometimes I am the mirror for another person. The karma agent. Being the victim offered someone the chance to experience being the persecuted. It might seem off the wall to want to play these roles (or archetypes) yet I found it helped me to understand my spiritual journey. We aren’t here looking for love and connection. I know we have that in the pink perfect. We are here to experience the absence of love. Self-love.

Following on from this it seems clear to me that if I am the victim I can also be cast as the persecutor. I have to mirror that energy as well. What a spiritual conundrum. In any exchange which am I being? What is the truth? Victims need persecutors. Or to perceive me as the ‘baddie’ so that they can continue to experience victimhood. That certainly made my counselling supervision and spiritual guidance lively. Similarly, as a survivor I had taken on aspects of self-love. Perhaps embracing the reality that connections between people have many, many layers of meaning. What is on the surface is not the reality at all. The surface is the place where manipulation can happen. Guilt-tripping. Fighting fire with fire. Self-justification. An absence of shared truth.

How do I step out of this cycle of victim-survivor and regain my personal power?

It took me quite a few spiritual lessons to work this one out. When I looked at the underlying energy of this type of situation I realised that what the victim wants is power and what the survivor wants is power. The power of love instead of it’s absence. Then it seemed an awful lot clearer for me. I already had power. It had been with me all the time. In life shit happens. Always. It’s how I shovel it that matters. So I stopped giving away my power. If things happened I asked what I had done to help them turn out this way. I acknowledged when I was self-sabotaging myself. And I loved myself enough to stop. I also understood that I could step out of the game any time I wanted. It became possible to give voice my views about game playing too.

I stopped giving my power to others. Stopped loving them more than I loved myself. And I make a commitment to examine my own feelings, thoughts and behaviour. So that they couldn’t be manipulated by others. Twisted against me by aggression. Or pulled into blame, shame and guilt by those who needed to feel like victims. I understood that stepping out of the game would make me more visible. People who are prepared to stand in their own power are often feared. Because we have escaped. And we are not afraid to tell it like we see it. Most of the time nowadays I let the power struggles pass. I will always speak my truth, especially when called upon to witness aggressive behaviour by others. Because I have no vested interest in outcomes. I call out their behaviour because until we end power games unconditional love will struggle to get a toe hold in this world.

There are too many victims, not enough survivors and too few of us standing in our power. So sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.

Day 541 of my blogging challenge 

Spiritual Exams – Tests to Pass the Gateway

Here in the UK many children have just finished or are starting exams. Tests designed to place a value on that child’s ability. Not necessarily for any useful purpose because ability is a variable that changes over time and circumstance.

But I don’t really want to talk about human based exams. They sift people out into bandings that can either enable or disable life choices. They also tag each one of us with a label which may result in a lifetime of missed opportunities. As I discussed the idea of exams with several people today my Guides were busy talking about spiritual exams. I hadn’t particularly thought about it before but I have been through a series of tests over the last 20 years. Tests designed to get me working on me. On my beliefs, values, attitudes and how they translated into my lifestyle.

One of these was my attitude to my physical body. Although I was a compulsive gym member in my 20’s and 30’s by my 40’s I’d sort of given up. Staying in shape seemed a bit pointless. My body shape was never going to match my ideal because my ideal was something I accepted from all of the influences around me. And women with big boobs are definitely not considered beautiful. Think how hard it is to find a pretty bra in a big size. Sexy – or a sex object (I lost count of the times men would talk to my boobs instead of my face) perhaps. But I was worn down with my body being defined by the two lumps that stuck out of my chest. Why keep in shape if they were never going to go away?

So how does this fit with a spiritual exam? What was the test I needed to pass?

Gradually it dawned on me that I had stopped loving my body. That also meant I had stopped providing my Spirit with the best possible accommodation. Yet how to get back on track? It took me an even longer time to realise that I had swapped my I enjoy exercise attitude for an exercise is hard viewpoint. So every time I wanted to do some exercise I sabotaged myself. No wonder my body got cranky with me. It started throwing aches and pains my way. Things stopped functioning properly. I wasn’t taking care of it so it wasn’t bothered about lasting out my lifetime in a state of wellness.

Last September I sat a series of spiritual exams. I didn’t know it was happening until afterwards. But I found myself signing up for a personal trainer. I also found myself wanting to remove sugar from my diet. Then I noticed that I wanted to have much more rest time in my schedule. I wasn’t quite myself. I had started to find a desire to be well. Physically well. As this journey has unforced I’ve mostly stuck at it. This weekend I realised that I was back to loving my body. Bust and all. I feel well. And I also feel fit. Not quite ready to run a marathon or cycle all day. But pleasantly comfortable with a body that is happy and generally pain free.

So what about the other spiritual exams? I know that I am being challenged to live my spirituality as much as talk about it.

There are also a few more energy waves like deep revision sessions rolling in. End of May and first couple of weeks in June, early August and mid September is the timetable according to my Guides. These periods are where I will be going back over old exam papers to check what I have learned. So I’m expecting some more testing. Bigger challenges. And a lot more lessons. I’m excited to be doing this work for several reasons. I will be able to see how far I’ve progressed in my journey. There will be some clear information about the progress I’m making in developing my abilities. Then I will also have a chance to look at where I want to go next.

Perhaps best of all, if my progress is going well I can move into the next tutor group. I’d like to go through the gateway to the next vibrational level. I feel ready to switch my focus into loving me much more. Doing all of the exercises needed to get me fit to offer more back out into the world. Because that is the real point. It’s important for my Spirit to be able to take on more work as there are big changes required to the way humans live their lives. Change is much easier if there is tough love support. That seems to be my spiritual purpose.

Passing my spiritual exams will show me that I’m ready to work at the next level of service. It’s time for me to look forward to getting through that gateway soon.

Day 540 of my blogging challenge

Breathing Peacefully

It’s been another workshop day. To help me get into the right place to work breathing peacefully is part of my routine. I love the way focusing on my breath can bring me calmness.

I’ve had asthma for most of my life. When I first started to experience that tightness of breath and lack of air I panicked. It took me a while to learn that the way I gasped for breath only made things worse. As did the panic. But it was understandable. Breathing is something we rarely focus on. Until the times when we can’t breath properly. So I had to learn to deal with the asthma attacks. Mainly by learning how to relax and breath through those awful sensations. I used to remind myself that I could breath. I counted my breath in and and. It was important to me that I faced my fear and overcame this debilitating condition as much as possible.

Eventually my breathing techniques became second nature. If I started to wheeze my breath would automatically change. I instinctively responded to the challenge of the attack. Nowadays I don’t even think about breathing. I feel that is progress. But those experiences taught me a lot about using my mind to bring me a sense of calm. And later also a sense of peace. I became easy with the fact the I have asthma. I have worked with energy healing to release a lot of the past life deaths that are connected to the weakness I have in my chest. But enough remains for me to keep clearing the stuck energy every time an attack happens.

The idea of learning to breath in the energy of peace came up again today. In the workshop exercises I asked the participants to focus on their breathing.

Doing this helps to induce a meditative state. It also allows the mind to focus on the intention to be peaceful. Because I know that many of us have stuck energy in and around our lungs. The old saying ‘get it off your chest’ meaning to speak about something is very true. When I don’t speak about things that are affecting me the feelings get stored in my chest area. They can become heavy enough to restrict my breathing. Or my ability to speak out at all. Spending a few minutes feeling myself take each breath in and then let it out can start a clearing process. And that clearing process can lift my spirits.

By allowing myself to release old energy I can choose what I replace it with. So I always choose peace. When I fill myself up with peaceful energy I can also radiate that energy out to others through my aura connection with them. In fact I can do this with all sorts of feelings. When it’s noisy or turbulent I can radiate calm. If there is a lot of fear about I can radiate positivity. All I need is to breath the feeling into me. Then imagine it is being shared out to everyone I connect with. I am grateful for my asthma. It has given me a different way of responding to all sorts of situations. And it has given me peace 💜

Day 524 of my blogging challenge 

Recognising Past Life Wisdom

Today’s topic seems to be recognising past life wisdom. It’s come up in several discussions. It even popped up in my Letter From The Light Side this evening.

I’ve been working with past lives for forty years so it’s one of my favourite topics to talk about. Whether I’m figuring out my own lives, doing past life readings or teaching how to access them the subject still fascinates me. Because I believe our past life patterns present us with the wisdom of those experiences. As well as creating the blocks in this life. It’s not necessarily about good or bad karma. It’s about how many of my previous life threads need to recognising now. What vows, consequences and lessons are still running in this life?

Often it’s about the threads that twine together to make a chord. How I have anchored this life in the energy of my past lives. And what I can do to cut that chord. Balance the energy I have created. Deal with the consequences. But recognising the patterns can be a bit of a challenge. Because the threads often act as limiting factors in my life it can be hard to see the pattern. After all, the first step is to understand that I am limiting myself at all. Perhaps I’m not quite as confident of my skills as I could be. Or I feel that my purpose is only about helping others. Even that the law of attraction doesn’t seem to work for me. All of these things can be the effect of past life choices.

Making an effort to recognise patterns and habits is a good first step. I have to ask myself what keeps repeating in my life.

Is it that I always seem to pick the same type of partner? Do I always get scared when someone says it’s my turn to lead the team? Am I living in a place that doesn’t seem to fit me? Or have an occupation that I’m not at all passionate about? Most of these things can be viewed as the normal things that happen in my lifetime. Yet perhaps the same sort of issues about these things keep cropping up. No matter how much I’m trying to change my patterns. It’s at that point that I reach for my past lives eyes. Can I see the events of my current life as if it was a story of another life?

Recognising that there might be another sub plot going on underneath the surface of the way I live is helpful. I can let myself imagine what that other life might be. What could have happened to make me live my life in certain ways? Did I take vows of poverty in some religious order? Or on more than one occasion? Do I have a belief in this life that I shouldn’t have too much? In this way I might be able to see that my other life vows are preventing me from accepting the abundance that is all around me. I might never be comfortably off until I release myself from that promise. Then I might see the threads of this life that began in a little terraced house with parents struggling to make ends meet.

Recognising what has also happened to me in this life I can start to see another pattern. That I shaped my choices about this life so I could use my past life wisdom.

Every life teaches me something. All lives are about evolution of my Spirit. Growing in my understanding of Unconditional love, forgiveness, gratitude and service. Struggles in past lives need not be struggles in this life. If I recognise the threads of karmic energy I also start to be aware that I’ve met these experiences before. Perhaps I didn’t make the best choices then and that’s why the situations have come in with me again. But I can consider those past life stories and my limitations. I can help myself to understand that to get abundance I have to be open to receive it. If I make a vow not to then quite plainly I won’t. So instead of saying I never have enough I can choose to say I am open to receive everything I require.

A different choice brings a different outcome. When recognising that I also need to trust in a different outcome. So many times I have released vows but forgotten to trust that it can be different. My choice gets cancelled out because I don’t believe it will happen for me anyway. That’s why I love the puzzle of past lives. Wisdom is only effective when I choose to use it fully and trust myself to know what is best. Not easy to do if a karmic thread is throwing up doubt for my abilities. Or the life I have led has made it hard to let the Universe take control. Yet I still want to embrace the wisdom of my past lives. No matter what consequences I have to balance out my life can only get better.

Day 521 of my blogging challenge