I’ve had the perfect end to a busy week. A session with crystal singing bowls to bring me more clarity. How wonderful that Mother Earth provides such powerful healing vibrations!
I’ve worked with crystals for a long time, both for healing and personal reasons, because I have several past lives as a Crystal Singer. I love how their vibrations surround me and always make sure I have one or two in my purse or pocket. Tonight I had an opportunity to also play some crystal bowls. But only after their sounds had taken me on a journey in search of clarity. The crystal bowls helped me to release low vibrational energy. Then they connected me to powerful sources of just the right kind of energy to boost me. I always know when I’ve been bathed in wonderful energy. Because the world around me comes into sharper focus.
So do I. So I know that this year, with it’s many challenges and opportunities, has been exactly what I needed to get me exploring other parts of me. I’ve been finding out what other abilities I have and releasing myself from limitations. To me it’s been a process of healing. Healing from my own blockages. And from the patterns, both karmic and human made, that stopped me having the clarity I need. I’ve discovered that there is far more to me that I ever imagined. As each new skill or ability surfaced I found my lovely crystals helping me to balance the discoveries so I could embrace a new me. I really do understand why I have been out in nature so much. Because under my feet, somewhere down deep, are the crystal energies that ground me.
Whether a walk, a sound bowl session or some time with my own crystal I have found myself full of inspiration. Clarity of feeling and thought. A vision of where I’m going and what to do. If you are looking for help to get focused perhaps it’s time you held a crystal or two!
Have any of us changed the world we live in? That was my question to me at 4am this morning as I drove home from an emergency call out. I wondered what it would take for everyone to finally live in peace.
The emergency had passed. My mind was free to wander. I was thinking about what had changed in my life since the big shift of Maya energy in 2012. That was the year to end all years apparently. Mankind was on the brink and whether we survived was debatable. It was also the year I stepped up my commitment to my spiritual service. And challenged myself to bring my actions into line with my spiritual beliefs. I have to say it’s been harder than I thought. It’s ok to say I believe in loving everyone because they have the light of spirit within. Far harder to do when people get hurt or die as a result of someone’s actions.
My Letters From The Light Side video guidance this evening echoes my early morning thoughts. How can I make a difference in the world if I’m swept away by the energy of fear? Until I have changed my inner state I can’t possibly approach compassion and forgiveness in any kind of realistic way. Yet I also realised that I am seeing the world very differently. Over the last five years I have learned to appreciate the strength that comes with forgiveness, even if forgiving somethings is still a challenge. Because it means I am letting go of hurt and pain. I am opening myself up to the energy of peace. Accepting that the person who harms me or mine is also a damaged, harmed human being.
That’s something that has changed. I know that people do what they do because they feel they have no other choice. Their life experiences have taught them to be limited.
Can I insist that they are bad or evil because of what they have chosen to do? Or can I see that they are individuals who make mistakes. Mistakes that sometimes have consequences almost too big for them to live with. And what about the much bigger spiritual picture? I have changed my view about life because I have started to live the wisdom that, whilst every human life is precious, we have many lives. In this one I can return to old karmic patterns or not. I have the freedom to make better choices this time round. So I can do my best to make a difference by recognising all of my choices. Then trying to take the best ones forward. As I’ve changed myself I have felt many more moments of peace, certainty and direction.
And I have also realised that I don’t need to change the world I live in. I need to change me. If I show respect and value to myself and others I operate in a different way than when I approach life in a fearful way. Especially when that fear is hidden deep inside, out of sight of prying eyes, as I assume confidence and certainty like a mask. I am much more open about my vulnerability because we are all vulnerable. Susceptible to being influenced because we want to belong. Yet as I have explored the vulnerability hidden in my shadow side I have also discovered a great strength. I have discovered that I can navigate through my own life. I am capable of choosing and living with my decisions. And I can forgive myself for wrong actions because the intentions were right.
Now I have changed myself I’m ready to answer that initial question. Yes, we have changed the world. By small, important and loving steps we are building towards a peaceful future. Peace is not only a possibility to dream of but something actually on the horizon now. And getting closer.
Sometimes when I sit down to write my blog my mind is blank. I can’t think of anything I want to write. My day may have too much in it. Or too little. So I stare at a blank screen.
Waiting for help and inspiration. Hoping that one of my Guides will switch on a light in my mind. Eventually my fingers get moving. Words start to peek out from the darkness and I find I’m off and away. Even then it can feel quite a relief to get to the minimum word count to make my blog respectable. And I give a sigh of relief when I write the closing sentence. Job done. I can return to being blank once again. Of course this also applies in my life. Moments when it seems I can’t find any inspiration. Or creativity. Once this used to panic me. I would search desperately for something to overcome the lack of thought. And end up feeling even more stressed by my blankness.
Nowadays I’m a lot more comfortable with my mind going blank on me. It happened when I meet people but can’t remember their names. Or I’m about to say something but can’t remember what. I laughingly call these my senior moments. But I’m getting better at recognising that I might have blanked out because there is too much in my mind. That’s why one of the things I had to learn, so I could communicate with the Spirit and Energy Beings, was to park my thoughts. Move them to a side corridor in my mind. Let them pass along without bothering me. Not to still my mind. Because I want to be able to get the information out of my mouth and that requires letting my brain work my voice. But to go into ‘the zone’.
When I work I want to be able to know which thoughts and feelings are mine. And which ones belong to another presence. Going blank, moving my own thoughts out of sight, is a way I can do that.
In this way I can pick up the inspiration and guidance that is being dropped into my mind. I can notice the sensations in my body that don’t belong to me. Or the words I can hear in my head that are in another voice. That puts me in ‘the zone’. The place where I can be a blank screen for the visitors to write their stories on. Doing this takes a lot of practice and a great deal of trust. I remember all the doubt that clouded my mind for quite a while. Is it my thoughts really? Am I imagining this information? Have I read about this and am simply recalling what I already know? It’s very tempting to dismiss the inspiration because of the doubt.
However, what I also learned was to receive the information and wait to see if it proved to be correct. I gave what I got. Surprisingly, or not really, what I shared from my blank mind was validated by the people who understood it. They confirmed the accuracy of what I said to them. After a while I stopped doubting what I got when I was in ‘the zone’. And my mediumship improved a lot. My trust was an extra boost of positive energy that made the connection even stronger. I carried that trust into my blogging. My Guides asked me to write a blog. A regular blog. So I started, hit the hurdle of a blank screen and blank mind and stopped. But they kept reminding me to trust myself and write. Eventually I did and now I’m more than two years into another zone.
If you find yourself going blank stop for a minute. Work out if your brain is too full of busy thoughts. Or too overloaded to organise itself to think clearly. Try putting all those thoughts in to a separate room in your mind. Then listen carefully. I am sure if you try it you will discover your own Guides waiting to inspire and support you.
This Mercury retrograde period has been really good for looking at my progress. Especially in a year where there has been so much change energy. It’s also been something I have been lucky enough to encourage my mentees to do.
One of the things I love best about mentoring is that I get to share someone else’s journey through a period of self-development and change. I can monitor the progress they are making. It gives me a chance to remind the person how much they have actually achieved. Because when we are making changes it can sometimes be hard to see how we are different. And what has been achieved. Today I’ve had the chance to discuss with several mentees how brilliantly they are doing. I have been able to point out their determination to make their lives different. And the focus they have brought to getting nearer their goals.
I feel that all too often we ignore our progress. Certainly I do. I drift into looking at what hasn’t changed yet, instead of what has. But I am learning to recognise what I have done differently, where I have grown and how positive I can feel about more changes. Because I want to keep going towards my dreams. Even if I have to keep changing what, when, where and how I do the things in my life. So sharing the successes of my mentees gives both of us a renewed sense of more progress to come. I’m really excited that anyone who sticks at it, understands the need for self-discipline and takes responsibility for themselves can achieve everything they want. And I am fortunate to be working with people who have decided to do just that.
Progress is what brings me back to the service I do for the Spirit World. They are already in a place where progress is a natural party of their community approach. Each one aligned to the results of what they doing being a part of the greater good. I know that my mentees will contribute so much more than they imagine at this present moment. Our community down here will benefit so much. Here’s a big shout out to everyone determined and focused on growing and contributing their best!
For a while I’ve been drawing back. Encountering endings with a tinge of sadness but a heart full of hope. It’s the year when I needed to make changes. Ready for a fresh start in a few weeks.
I’ve found myself drawing on all my reserves this year. As I head to the end, in this last couple of weeks, I’m noticing how weary I have become. Never weary of serving the Spirit and Energy people. But definitely weary of the way people demand that I give and give. Then turn round and demand that I give their way even more. Funnily enough, my Guides have never demanded anything of me. They asked me if I was willing to serve their higher purpose and, after a lot of thought, I said yes. Then they showed me where to go, what to do and who to connect with. Always with the respect that I could say no to anything they asked.
This evening my work in the Spiritualist churches and Centres was drawing to a close. I visited a lovely place in Sale to do my last public service. I know it will be some time before I return to public demonstrations of message mediumship. Because the Guides have asked me to work on the kinds of mediumship that offer evidence rather than messages. And I have agreed. With some relief. I have loved meeting people across the country in all sorts of Spiritualist groups. But I was, and may always be, a reluctant medium. Standing on a stage giving messages is something I’ve done as a service. Not because of a religion. A service to my Guides and the Spirit people who queue up to console their loved ones. And the people who have received comfort from what evidence and messages I can give them.
I won’t miss drawing back from those people who have seen this service as only to themselves. Who have let Ego blind them to the wonder of getting a message at all.
That really does happen. My messages are judged, and sometimes found wanting, by people who have never tried to communicate this way. The evidence I bring has been scrutinised, pulled to bits and rejected because a loved one didn’t say a particular word. Or, worst still, although my message has been correct it’s not what the person wanted to hear so they have dismissed it completely. What a waste. For all of us involved. I feel the worst of the worst though, is the expectation that I am there to entertain. Drawing on a common misconception, that it’s all a bit of fakery or foolery, some people expect to watch the people getting the messages. They want tears and laughter, often embarrassment or secrets revealed, all as long as it’s not them.
The Spiritualist Movement has missed a big opportunity. The chance to show what good and excellent mediumship can be. Out in the grass roots there are many honest, ethical mediums working day in and out to serve the Spirit World. Drawing on the best of these unsung heroes would go a long way to showing people what is at the heart of mediumship. The dedication, love and thoughtfulness with which each medium works to serve a loving purpose. Yet many places are driven by the Ego needs of individuals who are not mediums. Both in the management and attendance. I’ve talked before about educating sitters, the people who get the messages, drawing on all that knowledge contained in the Movement. But still we struggle to get people to understand what is happening.
Drawing back to serve in a different way is my answer. I know that my Guides want to educate people about connecting with the Energy Beings. Once it is better understood they hope that people will value the communication in a more reflective and considered way. Not as something to pass an hour on TV, in a theatre or in a Spiritualist venue. But as a genuine experience of comfort. And support for the notion that life does continue after physical death.
I’ve returned to old habits again. Out and about at a Mind, Body, Spirit fayre I got talking to someone about past lives. Again. It’s my passion for past lives that brought me to mediumship and the event today.
For the past forty years my life has been entangled with the subject of past lives. I’ve done workshops, both as a student and teacher, meditations, read books and both given and received messages about my own past lives. Each experience has helped me too understand that old habits are hard to break. And every time I thought I had got rid of one, back it has come to challenge me again. These habits are designed to get me to pay attention to my choices. So that, in future, I can make decisions that handle things differently. But sometimes I really wish I’d left my past lives well behind me. Especially as I know I have had many tries at balancing off my karma. Over many, many lives.
Chatting to the lovely people who were also running stalls I couldn’t help thinking about habits. My patterns and ways of doing things. I was also wondering why my Guides had got me back to MBS events. Apparently it was for my book promotion. But I soon realised that I was really there to meet people and chat. I often find I pass on messages, dressed up as casual conversations, in this rather random fashion. Especially when people might find it more difficult to get to my work base. Today it seemed the subject was past lives. I found myself explaining about how understanding them made it easier to know what we had already tried. So it would be quicker to try a different way to deal with a situation. Rather than retreat into a well worn response.
And, of course, I explained that this is the way we grown in wisdom. So habits are there to be broken. Finding a way to do something differently is a way to increase my options. Or generate new possibilities for the future. I enjoyed reflecting on this particular pattern and doing things slightly differently. I am grateful for my past lives today. They helped me explain something to someone else. That’s a good thing to get from an old habit!
Today has been a luxury. I had planned for it to be a day by myself with nothing to do. It’s worked out that way too. Even for my Spirit connections.
I love having my Guide team around. I also love helping people by tuning in whenever I can. But it can be very tempting to keep the links wide open all of the time. Then it becomes unmanageable because the Spirit people step in all the time. They don’t know when I’m on down time. After all, they have no time as such in their existence. So my visitors have no idea what time, day or year it is when they stop by to talk. One of the first things I learned after how to open up my connections was how to close them. To have the luxury of silence in my head again. Although I still have to learn how to completely shut my own thoughts down!
So appreciate when I can have a day to myself. The luxury of not connecting, receiving and passing on messages. Of course I love my work and the comfort it can bring to people. Yet if I’m not careful it is all too easy to help everyone who messages, whatever the time of day or night, or to give my attention to Spirit people who want to chat. And I know that would be bad for my wellbeing. I’m like everyone else. I need a break. A rest from doing and some time for being. So every now and again I put a quiet day in my diary. Two if I can manage it. Then I do all the ordinary things I usually do. But with only me present in the room. It’s very peaceful. As well as a boost to my own energy.
Stepping out of my normal connections is like telling everyone to go home after a great party. When they have gone I can ease back, put my feet up and wind down.The luxury of time to myself means that I am refreshed by the quietness I have enjoyed. Then I can be ready for the next adventure. Have you taken any time out recently?
I’ve had an interesting day observing how old habits really do die hard. It can take a lot of energy and effort to change the way I do things. And the expectations I have.
Of course, as I now try to look at my life and world from an energy point of view perhaps it’s easier to restate this proverb as ‘Old energy dies hard’. Because that is what gives us habits and patterns in the first place. I know that the situations and experiences I have encountered have left their energy mark in me. My thoughts and feelings are connected to the energy and can end up being driven by them. That’s why I can find myself responding in the same way to energy that is perceived to be the same or similar to those old situations. And that’s not necessarily a good thing. Especially if the energy I am responding to is low vibrational. Like fear, hate, envy or anger. All that does is trap memory firmly into a patterned energy response.
But breaking the habits of what might be my lifetime can also feel like an effort that it’s too difficult to make. Even if my responses keep drawing that old energy to me. Yet I know I want to do things differently. And what I’ve understood, by looking at energy rather than the actions or behaviours of habits, is that I can learn to release the energy. If I let the thoughts and feeling go I can replace them with more positive responses. I can change my energy and thus change the way in which my pattern operates. Today I noticed that I was driving rather anxiously because of the bad weather. I noticed that it tied in with the little crash I had back in September. And had echoes of another crash from an earlier part of my life.
The anxiety was likely to make my driving worse. Even cause an accident. So when I stopped I had a chat with myself about the old energy. I reminded myself that I could drive in theses conditions and that I had done so for many years. I sent my anxious self some love. And on my return trip focused on how easily I was driving. I will continue to watch that this anxious energy doesn’t return. Or that I don’t collect more of it. Have you got old energy you need to change? Is it time to love yourself enough to let it go?
I’ve been on a round trip. An excursion into myself. I’ve been to visit Know Thyself Spiritual Centre in Ulverston, run by my friend Maxine, to read my book for other people.
I set this up a while ago when I was thinking about how best to share my book with others. Maxine kindly volunteered her Centre as a place for me to offer snippets of what I had written. Of course I wasn’t expecting the weather to be particularly wintery nor Storm Caroline sweeping in from the Arctic. But driving up to the Lake District this evening I did wonder what the journey was going to be like. Very easy as it happened. But like all things in life a journey to make me think. Because Know Thyself is exactly what all of us are required to learn to do. Only then can we make the journey an easy one for ourselves.
It still feels strange to read my own words aloud to other people. Sitting in the calm and peace of Know Thyself I was listening to my own thoughts and feelings, captured on the page in front of me. Finding more meaning in those words because I could hear how they sounded outside my head. Discussing what they meant to me now with the people who were hearing them for the first time. Writing has been a journey into myself. Driving home I thought about the discussion we had. The questions my words had prompted. Not only in me but in the listeners too. What a wonderful way to search for the secrets inside of me. Inside of all of us. I am sure we contain all of the wisdom necessary for this life. But we have to look deeper inside to bring it into use.
Today I feel I have had an opportunity to get to know me a bit better. I have had space and time to explore what’s inside and discover another aspect of me. Annie the author listening to Annie the medium. Know Thyself is certainly a great name for a spiritual centre. I feel I know myself better after my visit there. After all, that is the heart of my spiritual journey.
I’ve been wanting to finalise my connection with the Centre for several days. Yet it seems that there is still stuff to shift. Not least some big items of furniture.
Running up and down the stairs for the third day in a row I was very much wanting to see the back of all this removals stuff. Yet I seeme to keep finding more things to donate, store or bring home. So moving out of my space has been a lot slower than I planned. I was thinking about that today when the men came to collect the settles and chairs. Unfortunately they were wanting to leave them behind. Mainly, I suspect, because they had already filled their van with collections from other people. I know I was first to be booked in. And I also know that I listed exactly what had to be collected. But I ended up last.
Wanting isn’t the same as getting. As I considered why the Universe was running in the opposite direction to my plans I thought about lovely Mercury. The influence of this current retrograde is to get us to reflect. To think again. Not about closing the Centre. But about my process of letting go. I know that I often imagine things will go the way I want them to. So when they don’t I can get very stressed. Today was a chance to see if I could go with the flow. For whatever reason the furniture has to stay where it is right now. Perhaps the people who need it aren’t quite ready to find it. Or a different group or charity will benefit more. I’m sure all will be revealed if I wait for it to be.
Wanting to let go is a process. It can only happen when everything is in alignment. So I am holding the energy until it’s the time for me to release the space back into the world. Everything will happen in perfect timing.