Develop Mediumship: Practice Makes Nearly Perfect

DevelopI’ve been out to do a church service tonight. Afterwards there was a discussion about how to develop mediumship. And especially about confidence.

Like anything in life, when I start to learn something new, trying to develop a skill or ability, I go through a process of finding confidence in what I can do. But I usually start that process lacking in confidence. Perhaps feeling incompetent. Or even scared about what I’m expecting myself to do. That has happened with everything I have tried in my life. So it’s worth understanding that feeling like I lack confidence is a normal part of getting a new skill. When I take that on board I can be a bit less judgemental about what I’m managing to achieve. I might even be able to let myself see that I’m doing great for the stage of development I’ve reached. Best of all, I might even let myself start to feel a bit more confident.

Mediumship has to develop like any other skill or ability. It’s not something that is suddenly perfect. Or nearly perfect actually. Mediumship, like everything else, takes time, practice, discipline and that build up of self belief. It will continue to develop the more you do it. I know I am much better at connecting now than I was eleven years ago. Especially since I am confident in what I am doing. And I feel competent in what I’m doing too. However, I had to do an awful lot of practice to get to this point. And that was the point of tonight’s discussion. I had to give myself permission to get things wrong. To be comfortable, as much as possible, with hazy, incomplete or weak messages. I had to take every opportunity I could to be giving messages. And I had to stop being too hard on myself. Expecting too much too soon.

I could be talking about any achievement in life. It takes discipline, patience and persistence to develop yourself. I have learned to be confident that I will get to the standard I set for myself. Only not on day one, one hundred or one thousand. But that I will!

Day 693 of my blogging challenge 

Requesting Help: It Matters That I Do

RequestingI found myself chatting today about the flow of money energy. Requesting what you require from the Universe often revolves around resources and finances. Much of life does.

I often think how much time I’ve spent in my life trying to make sure I have the resources I need. Requesting more abundance as my finances swing up and down. But often feeling that enough money hasn’t found it’s way to me. Yet whenever I needed to pay for something somehow I, or the Universe, made sure the funds were there. Throughout my spiritual journey of the last eleven years I have come back round to this point time and again. If I trust enough in abundance I have enough. If I wobble I struggle to have enough resources. Money and I have had a love/hate/love sort of relationship. Because it’s something I can’t quite do without.

Yet I’m also hampered by all sorts of social conditions around requesting money. You see, asking for money appears to be classed as begging. Or as some sort of statement that I can’t manage financially. Whereas requesting help is much more acceptable. So long as I let people give me the help they want to. Even if it turns out to be the wrong kind of help. And abundance seems as far away as ever. It’s interesting. So I’ve had many a conversation with my Guides about the energy of money, what ‘help’ actually is and the ways in which I hide from dealing with money as a form of energy. What I’ve learned is perhaps obvious when I’m detached from events that are happening. But easy to forget when abundance seems a long way away according to my Ego Mind.

Requesting any help at all is the first big hurdle. I had lots of values around being independent, working to pay my way and dealing with life’s earthquakes on my own instilled in me.

I feel that I am expected to cope. Many of our social systems are set up to penalise those who have the misfortune to be stranded by a turn of life’s tide. Because the emphasis is on being self sufficient. Especially around money and finances. My Guides have reminded me many times that until our world values every person according to their contribution to the community, rather than as a resource to be used, the power of money will persist. What they mean is that I should look at what I offer to my community as the valuable thing. Not what my community pays me. Hard to swap to when the requirement for money is so entrenched.

Yet they also remind me that when I work at what I’m passionate about I am always rewarded. And if I am doing the things I am best at I will always have all of the help I could possibly need. So long as I’m requesting that help. That’s where those values turn around and bite me. If I don’t ask I don’t get. It took me a long time to ask the Universe, my Guides, my loved ones in Spirit, my family and my friends for help. It didn’t feel right. Or easy. So I soldiered on. Until I couldn’t go on any more. Once I hit that point I did start to ask. Slowly at first. Hesitating to find the words. How many times had I said to people ‘I’m here to help’ and wondered why they didn’t ask? They were stuck for the words. Just like me.

Requesting help was a starting point. But I had a lot more to learn. Especially about the way I asked.

Often my voice got lost. Or I asked when people weren’t listening. Even when I asked directly I would fluff the words. Or pretend it didn’t really matter. And I asked in a confusing way so that the other person didn’t really understand. Or was unaware how much help I might need. Then I would refuse the help that was being offered. Or decide it wasn’t what I  really wanted. No wonder the Universe had a full on challenge sending me what I requested. Until my Guides started to sort me out. They got me thinking about my reluctance to accept help, money, support, positivity or anything else.

And they got me to deal with all the limitations I had placed on myself. Last month, for the first time in my life, I asked clearly and loudly for help. Help with all sorts of things. I asked my family, my friends, my financial people, my Guides, my loved one’s in Spirit and anyone else I could. Help came pouring in. Abundance became my new middle name. I didn’t suddenly win the lottery. But I ended my month feeling like I had done. Requesting all sorts of things moved me forward way beyond what I expected. I do love the way my Guides like to make a point. That wonderful flow of resources has continued. It followed me into this month too.

I’m determined to keep requesting help. The conversation today was a reminder to trust that I will always be given what I require and desire. And that everyone in my community will benefit if I share my abilities in order to help others recieve what they are requesting too. Never mind the energy of money. How can I help?

Day 692 of my blogging challenge 

Swings And Roundabouts: It All Balances Out

Swings Roundabouts I had time today to think about swings and roundabouts. On a long trip to and from Scarborough where I was doing mediumship at Harmony Country Lodge Church.

How I had time to think was because it’s a two hours plus drive there and back. As I zoomed along to the church there was hardly any traffic going in my direction. Yet the other side of the road was almost at a standstill. I assumed that by the time I drove home I would have a clear road too. But I was wrong. The traffic was nose to tail and standing still for quite a few sections of road. I felt that I had enjoyed the freedom of the swings only to get stuck in a roundabout going nowhere. Sitting waiting I thought about how I can find myself rushing forward when every obstacle has been cleared out of my way. Yet there always seems to a a patch where barriers, restrictions and queues hold back my progress.

I used to get impatient. Both on the road and in my life. Now I turn up the music and sing. Because I know that the swings and roundabout all balance out in the end. Even if it feels like I have been going round and round in circles forever what I have really done is move in an upward spiral. Like an airplane I’ve been in a holding pattern until I could move onwards again. Letting myself process my experiences and make better sense of my life. And when I’ve done that I find myself being pushed forward, ready to swing into action and clear about the direction I am taking. That’s the balancing I need. The feeling that I can soar, fly as high as I like, if I give myself enough forward momentum.

I got home after a longer journey than I expected. However, I am grateful for the thinking time I got. It made me realise that swings and roundabouts serve a purpose. And to relax when the barriers seem to have come down around me. They are there to get me ready for the next big shift and for that I’m learning to be grateful 💜

Day 692 of my blogging challenge 

Humour Is Infectious: Laugh And Laugh Some More

Humour Dr John Cooper ClarkeHumour! I’m certain we need more laughs in our lives. Tonight I got the chance to see John Cooper Clarke and I laughed the whole evening. So did everyone else.

I love the way things happen. Quite a few months ago one of my lovely friends mentioned she had got a ticket to go and see John Cooper Clarke. As it fell around the same time as my birthday I decided to treat myself and get a ticket too. I’ve been a fan of his performance poetry since about 1979. His verses were part of the backdrop to my coming of age as an adult. I enjoyed his humour. It fitted with the way the people around me spoke. I found it very down to earth, full of fun and also deeply meaningful. Until recently I still had my original copy of his book ‘Ten Years in an Open Necked Shirt’. Unfortunately it got water damaged and I felt sad letting it go.

Because humour is what keeps me going. When I am snowed under with woe, worry or wrangling I look for the joke. Even if it turns out to be on me. Limericks, funny poems, jokes so old they came from the ark, I enjoy a good laugh. I love to laugh in the good times as well as in the bad. Some of my best memories are filled with laughter. I enjoy that my Dad, Irish through and through, couldn’t resist all of the Irish jokes he heard. And that my Mum watched all the comedy programmes she could. They taught me that it’s only a joke if the other person is laughing. As well as to be able to laugh at myself. They also helped me understand not to judge humour but to search it out wherever I could find it.

Tonight I’m still chuckling about the performance. About the tears of laughter I cried. Along with the feeling that life is wonderful when we all share in the laughter. John Cooper Clarke may not be your humour of choice. But please make sur you laugh as much as you possibly can. Life will feel much lighter. And that’s a great thing to experience.

Ps: I replaced my book with a new, signed copy. Wonderful!

Day 691 of my blogging challenge 

What Joins Us Together : What Pushes Us Apart

TogetherIt’s been a day of reflection. Listening to the Spirit World talk about what joins us together. And how we somehow manage to push ourselves apart. How can bonds and ties stay strong?

It’s always lovely to hear of friendships that have been life long. Or relationships that are celebrating a 40th or 50th anniversary. To notice that family members have stuck together, one way or another, as the children have grown into middle or old age. These bonds have stood the test of life and time. They have been flexible yet strong enough to weather all kinds of storms. As I listened to the conversations today I thought about how we stick together. And what can drive us apart. I wondered what my loved ones in Spirit would say. After all, they have shown me quite clearly that they are still linked to me with ties of love.

I had an Open Circle tonight. What came through very clearly from all of the messages was the love. Each communicator giving the evidence that their love for us is as strong and lasting as ever. Reminding me that the most important thing I can do is love my family and friends as much as possible. Especially during the times when we might be getting pushed apart. Because together we are stronger. The community in Spirit know that. They come here to remind us of that as often as possible. During all those times when earthly things threaten to separate us. When we pick sides. Or judge. Even when we get angry or upset at each other. When we want more than others. Or more than others can give. Love can keep the lines of communication open. Love for ourselves and love for each other.

I’m often inspired to talk about the community of Spirit. When we are all together and let the loved ones in the Spirit World join with us.

They help us to create a community that crosses time, space and dimensions. They are willing to share with us their love, healing, wisdom and knowledge. I know that they show us how we can be joined together in this way by our ties of love. They want us to notice how easy it is to create that shared community. And I know that they want us to realise that it is easy to create a global human community based on the same love principle. I’ve listened to people saying that world peace is hard. That it can’t happen. Even that our differences are too great to overcome. The Spirit people wouldn’t agree. To them it’s all about love.

If I can overcome what pushes me apart from my family, friends and community then surely we all can? If I can see each person as a unique human being and share the love with them then can’t all of us? I know it sounds so simple that many people would say it’s naive. However I believe it’s possible for all of us to learn to share the love. We only have to want to enough. I see that as the problem. Perhaps we don’t really want to set aside our differences and look for the similarities. Otherwise we would all be speaking out about the awful things that are happening to other people. Rather than having that secret feeling of ‘thank goodness it’s not me’. Or that even worse state of not even noticing or caring because ‘I’m alright’.

Keeping humanity together is all about love. I’m learning to love myself and those around me no matter what we disagree on. I want to stick with my community because I know it will make me and the community stronger. I hope you can resist the urge to see your community pushed apart. Let love show you the way.

Day 690 of my blogging challenge 

Asking The Angels: Arsheliel Insists It’s Time For Action

Asking angelsI work with Energy Beings that we call angels and ArchAngels. So, from time to time, I can’t resist asking them all about what angels are here for or do.

Sometimes they turn that question around and ask me to think about why I’m here and what I do. Because I’ve found that angels bring a refreshing non-human view to my life. I’ve also been able to connect with a group of ArchAngels who most definitely push me to make a difference. They want me to make a difference to my life so that, perhaps, what I do will encourage others to make a difference to their lives. The ArchAngels know that I have free will but they also remind me that they are responsible for the Divine Plan. And my part in that plan. When I am asking questions it means I am trying to live my life in the energy and spirit of that plan.

I’ve been fascinated by the idea of a Divine Plan for many years. When I was sceptical I explored the idea that a belief in a Divine Being was a psychological necessity. Something I needed that was bigger than me to help me in challenging times. Like a super special parent who would make sure everything came out alright. I also flirted with the idea that my exsistance was a random accident arising out of a state of chaos. Which meant I was living a life going no where and with no meaning. When I started to have contact with Spirit people I started asking. Question after question to try to understand who and what they where. And how I was in contact with them.

Was this the Divine Plan idea fooling me? Asking myself if I had discovered ‘voices in my head’ and was running into psychological problems. Because they were reassuring. And real.

Eventually, as my experiences led me to a state of believing in the reality of the Energy Beings, I reached a point of understanding that there is an underlying plan happening. That plan is all about my evolution. Life is an experience that helps my Spirit to understand the absence of love. In the Divine Plan this process allows the community of Energy Beings to appreciate and stay on track with practicing unconditional love from a free will choice. I learned from the ArchAngels that Spirits have a form of free will too. But balance the choices against the requirements and desires of the whole of the Spirit community.

Interestingly, I also learned that ArchAngels and angels are without free will. They exsist to serve the requirements of the Divine Plan. Not slavishly. But lovingly. Understanding that all of the Beings subject to the Plan are evolving to a state of being that is like the angles. And therefore close to the unconditional love generated from the Divine source. The ArchAngels are also very clear. They aren’t all soft and fluffy. They are the ultimate experts in tough love. I appreciate this distinction. I’ve found that in challenging times I appreciate a being who can not only encourage but insist that I face my challenges. That’s where ArchAngel Arsheliel is a great inspiration.

Asking Arsheliel for help is like asking to be pushed, pulled and shoved into action. He is very clear. Loving but certain that I need to do something if my life is going to bring me fulfilment.

There are even times when I haven’t asked for help when he appears anyway. Because he already knows I am struggling with something. Or wobbling about my decisions. Even those times when I’m dragging my heels and avoiding taking any action. Arsheliel wraps me up in a warm but firm energy. I feel his support and I know that he is insisting because the time is right to put my human plan into action. Dreams have to be encouraged to manifest by me taking the steps towards them. Even if those steps scare me. Or when I have stopped believing in myself. That’s when Arsheliel will make sure I am being proactive.

It’s actually his job. He provides the energy boost I need to keep my momentum going. I know that he enjoys getting all of us moving forward. Like the person who fires the starting pistol to set off the race. That jump start we all sometimes need but have stopped asking for. So that I and everyone else gets on with delivering our individual bits of the Divine Plan. Especially so that we understand how unique our contribution is going to be. Arsheliel, along with all the other ArchAngels and angels, wants me to remember that there is no other individual with the same abilities as me. No other Annie Conboy. So doing my bit is important. Even if I don’t understand what my ‘bit’ represents.

They are asking all of us to rise to the challenge of being our authentic, Spirit/Human selves. And to be good enough as ourselves. Arsheliel asked me today to get on with my chosen work by becoming a minimalist in all aspects of my life. Travel light he said. It will help he told me. As it will give me space to let in all the new opportunities waiting for me. Push given and accepted!

Day 689 of my blogging challenge

Dear Spirit, When Will My Dream Come True?

Dear spiritI often find myself asking ‘Dear Spirit, when will my dream come true?’ Usually when what I’m wishing for seems as far away as ever.

And I know this is a popular question for people who have readings. They ask me to find out when their lives will improve. Or when they will be happy. Even when they can stop worrying about this or that. Of course it’s hard for me to have to explain that the loved ones in Spirit don’t give timescales every time. Especially not when the timescale is about something the sitter hold dear. But I know this from my own experience too. It’s tempting to ask my family members to give me a sign, a date or a month. Because when life has turned upside down all I want to know is that it will be ok again very soon. And if there is something I want I’m not the most patient of people. So I can pester for signs. Keep asking to be told. And find myself getting nothing at all.

It’s taken my loved ones in Spirit a while to help me see that the timescales are all down to me. In fact I often hear the response ‘Dear Annie, when would you like to make it happen?’ I guess I forget that I have free will. And making those dreams a reality is all about me taking action. If I don’t take the steps towards what I want is it any wonder I don’t get it. So in a reading a Spirit person may give all kinds of sound suggestions. Even potential timescales or dates. Yet if I sit back and wait for it to happen it never will. Often it’s also about changing the inside of my head. A dream can’t turn up if I don’t believe it will. Of if I think I’m not worth what I want. Sometimes I’ve even run in the opposite direction and self-sabotaged my dreams.

And there is nothing my loved ones can do. Except keep on loving, encouraging and messaging me. That’s key thing. They love me whether I get my dream now, next week or next year. And will love me even if I never get my dream. They will always tell me I am dear to them. So they remind me to keep on dreaming. And to keep on trying to live my dreams.

Day 688 of my blogging challenge 

Heading To The End Of A Year Of Change

Heading into autumI was heading to my aunt’s house this morning. The leaves have started to turn their colour as the year fades gently away. As I drove I thought about all the changes that have happened to me this year.

Sometimes I’m so busy changing that I don’t even notice that it’s happening. Other times I’m in the midst of changes feeling really stuck and wanting to push on forward. Yet the strange thing about change is that I can’t see where I’m heading. Because I might think I’m going in one direction only to find I’ve ended up somewhere completely different. I knew at the start of this year that my life had to change. I even thought I knew how it would be changing. Yet at the back end of the year I’m heading off into a very different set of experiences. I hadn’t thought at all about Embrace Intuitive Mentoring in January. My book was going to be published but I hadn’t expected it to be when it was. And what about my Centre? That didn’t turn out as I expected either.

Heading through each month I’ve found myself having to respond to changes that have been thrown at me. Because on top of my desire to reshape my life the Universe has also sent lots of things to make sure the change happens. In fact my Passion Planner is full of plans and projects that have been revisited, overturned, revised or deleted. As if I hadn’t quite got the big picture yet. However, I have noticed that the changes that have happened are really good for me. I am listening to my intuition all the time. When I wobble I am strong enough to deal with my fears. I am choosing things that I love to do. And making the practical stuff happen to keep being able to do those things. In the end I feel I have recognised and valued my abilities much more this year.

So I’m sure I’m heading in a better direction with my life. Because I have chosen to embrace change, not fight it.

I’ve also made a great effort this year not to be hard on myself. When change is unexpected it’s easy for me to start telling myself off. I can bring up all sorts of reasons why I should judge myself harshly as I try to respond to changes. There are a lot of should’ve, would’ve, could’ve moments. These aren’t helpful. They stop me from heading in a positive direction. Instead I’ve given myself a lot more permission to have my wobbly moments. And a lot more encouragement that everything will turn out for the best. Because it usually does. And because I do my best to make it turn out that way. That’s the secret. My resilience in the face of many changes will pull me through.

I think we forget just how much change we can handle. I know I’ve hit that ‘change overload’ point several times this year. When I’ve wanted to say ‘enough is enough’. But I’ve somehow kept going. Stayed with my head above the water. Faced down my fears and carried on taking whatever action I could. Heading to the end of the year I can see that I have stuck with the process of change. Dealing with the loss of the old and the introduction of the new. Shifting my position to find a new balanc in my life. Recognising what I want to keep and what I want to bring in. I haven’t done this perfectly. Sometimes the Universe has had to drop things on my head to get me to notice. And I’m almost there.

I’m almost at the dream I wanted to try for the next few years. It hasn’t shaped up exactly the way I thought it would. But it’s here all the same. I’m heading into a bright future. I’m so glad I’ve changed!

Day 687 of my blogging challenge 

We Need A National Self-Care Day

National self-care dayI’ve voted today National Self-Care Day. I see a lot of my social media filled with National xx day, xx week or support xx month, plus Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Valentine’s Day. All sorts of reasons.

Yet when I am mentoring or counselling people, or listening to family and friends, the one thing I notice is we have no designated day for ourselves. I suppose I could be accused of trying to extend my birthday (I had a lovely one last week). However, I know that unless I am very focused I often forget to do something nice for myself. Usually because I’m too busy doing nice (hopefully) things for all the people around me. So when I sat down at my computer this morning I posted about National Self-Care Day. It’s Monday, it was a bit drab outside and I had a full diary of appointments. What better than to remind myself to make sure I looked after me too.

I also wanted to get people to think about how much they value themselves. Could I spend 5 minutes enjoying a herbal tea? Or was I busy, pen in hand, trying to sign my books too? Was it possible to sit quietly in my healing room for 10 minutes to recharge my batteries? Or was I busy organising the blankets on my healing bed, watering the plants and dusting the window sill? Multi tasking is great but only when it creates space for me to relax. Or to take some time out. Even to have a treat of some kind. Am I only worth 5 or 10 minutes to spend on myself? So I’m all with National Self-Care Day. How wonderful to have a whole day of treating me. Eating good, healthy food. Walking. Reading the next fiction book in the series I’m enjoying. Having time to stop and chat.

Best if all, I can send myself a Best Wishes on National Self-Care Day card. Oh, wait a minute, the retail industry haven’t designated this day yet. They don’t know about it. Because it’s not considered important enough to celebrate taking care of me. Yet. But by next 9th October perhaps we will all be enjoying NS-C day!

Day 686 of my blogging challenge 

Gently Deepening Spirit Connections In Trance

Go gentlyI’ve had a lovely day running a Trance workshop. I enjoy helping people to gently explore working in altered states of consciousness because letting the connection with Spirit people build in this way can be really rewarding.

I also enjoy helping people to understand what working in trance is all about. And why this form of communication offers different evidence of the way our two worlds can interact. But I know that it’s best to go gently forward because this type of communication does test our beliefs. And push at the boundaries of what people can accept. I also love that there is a long history of trance mediumship. I’ve read many books and reports about the mediums of the past and present who allow Spirit people to use the energy to provide more than words of comfort. When I do my own trance mediumship I have many reports from people who have seen the faces of their loved ones superimposed over mine.

I also appreciate that my Guides have built this form of mediumship gently into what I do. There was no pressure for me to work in this way. They held back until I felt I could take each next step. And they helped me to deal with my anxieties and fears about letting Energy Beings step even closer into my aura. The sensitivity I experienced from my Guides has always been reflected in my teaching of others. Each step is carefully and gently presented to the developing medium. Because I work very closely with their Guides to deliver a trance experience that will build confidence. That’s very important to the people on the Spirit side. They want everyone who wishes to do so to experience this form of connection. To experience it in a positive way.

One thing about learning about my abilities that has stood out is the care my Guides have taken. Leading me gently on to more knowledge and understanding. That’s why I agreed to teach. Because I knew if they took that care with me then they would do so with others. If you want to explore and develop your intuitive abilities, go gently. Find the best teacher you can. Consider the help your Guides can give you. And be kind to yourself. It will be worth it.

Day 685 of my blogging challenge