I was tired last night. Looking forward to a good sleep. Yet I woke up four times from emotional dreams. Though each time I felt I was letting something go.
Dreams are fascinating. They are a way of my mind processing the events I have experienced. They are also messages from my unconscious mind to help me make sense of what is going on in and around me. I also find that my Guides appear fairly often in my dreams. And sometimes I have to be very firm in telling them to let me sleep. Because sleep is an altered state of consciousness at one end of a spectrum that starts with consciously experiencing my world. My trance mediumship is somewhere in the middle. And when the energy waves are very strong my dreams also respond just as my waking mind does. So my dreams can be a rollercoaster. No wonder I woke up!
On each waking I was in a hurry to get back to sleep. I wanted to drift off into that space where my Ego mind was shut down. Because I enjoy a lot of my dreams. They bring me messages of encouragement and love when my Guides are around. Each time I was hoping for a good dream. Yet each time it seemed I wandered into turbulent emotions. Though each time when I surfaced from my sleep I couldn’t remember what I’d been dreaming about. All that kept coming into my mind was ‘let it go’. When I finally woke up properly this morning I asked myself what had gone. Then burst out laughing. Because it doesn’t matter what has shifted. So long as I am getting lighter and brighter I don’t need to know how it’s happening.
I love my sleep. Tonight I’m hoping for a dream free night though. Unless, of course, my Guides want to pop in and have a chat. If it’s time for you to let go of old emotions I wish you sweet dreams. And the support of your Guide Team too.
I’ve taken a weekend off to process the recent energy surges. Ending September on a positive note, as I headed north the rainbows started to appear.
I felt that this was a signal. The gold of abundance is on it’s way in. All I have to do is keep dreaming my dreams. The last few weeks have been all about keeping faith with my dreams. But when I’m stressed or under pressure, feeling the low vibrations, and questioning everything, holding on to what I desire is difficult. That’s when I start to remind myself of rainbows. Of the pot of gold waiting at the end of the rainbow. That luck finds those who believe they are lucky. And fortune favours the brave. I know I have to gather all of my strength and have the courage to believe in myself. But sometimes my heart is in my boots. So I have to dig a bit deeper. That’s when I really pay attention to my self-talk.
We all have inner dialogues. Mine sometimes tell me that I’m doing really great. But often it can be focused on undermining me. Because I’ve held on to all of the negative things people have said to me in the past. Or I’ve judged myself harshly and am keeping myself restricted. Seeing rainbows always gets me to notice when I’m being too critical of myself. At those times I have to remember how far I have come. And think about the new life I am going to have, full of friends, laughter and joy. Remind myself to be proud about knowing how to respect what I need in my life. And I ask my Guides to keep boosting me with positive energy.
It’s ok to feel wobbly. Rainbows remind me that I’m not falling down. I’m taking baby steps in my freedom to have my dreams manifest. I hope you see plenty of rainbows in your life too.
Once again my day went out of shape. Ted’s forest adventure pulled me away from sitting still. And gave me a very enjoyable afternoon outdoors.
I love the random nature of my days. My Passion Planner hardly gets chance to stay the way I wrote it. Appointments change. Or get cancelled. Usually so that someone with a greater need can get what I can help them with. And sometimes I get to do things I wasn’t necessarily planning but which lift my spirits. Today was one of those days. I have a lovely friend with a dog. In fact I have lots of lovely friends with dogs. Since I lost both my dogs a few years ago I miss the chance to walk the dog. Somehow, unless you have the responsibility of your own dog, the dog walking passes you by. I’m busy working at improving my general fitness. And I love to walk. But do I take myself off to do so? Of course not. Yet today Ted’s adventure changed that.
This morning on his walk Ted decided that he would scamper off to investigate. My friend wasn’t sure what he decided to investigate. But three hours later he was still AWOL. No one else in the forest had seen him. As you can imagine, my friend was very upset. I know that feeling. My dog Connie was a wanderer. She came to us as a result of one of her wanderings off. Ted’s nature is a lot like Connie. He’s a wanderer too. But not usually for so long. So after checking that he hadn’t actually wandered home there was only one thing for it. Another walk in the woods to see if Ted’s trail could be picked up. This time I went along to add my voice, eyes and ears to the efforts to round up Ted.
I checked in with the the gnomes. And the water sprites. I asked my Guides for signs and they sent them. But Ted’s camouflage was perfect. Not a sniff of him anywhere.
However, by intuition we decided we were following the trail of where he had been. And all the people walking the route, except one, were alerted and promised to look out for him. So the sun shone as I climbed up hill and down dale, plodged through mud, and slid down banking. Ted’s dark brown coat was hardly going to stand out amongst the fallen leaves and tree roots. But I peered into the undergrowth nevertheless. The river added is music to the scene making it hard to hear noises. Though every now and again a bird sang out. Always when I was asking myself do I go left or right. This hillside or that. As we stood at the top of one hill gazing across the valley I felt on top of the world. The exercise was definitely doing me good.
Yet Ted’s trail was still hard to follow. There are rabbits to sniff out. Pheasant to chase. Other dogs and walkers to say hallo to with a determinely wagging tail. As we looked and walked we talked. One of the real pleasures of dog walking. A deep yet easy conversation that flows along taking me who knows where. Something much missed. And here was Ted’s great gift to me. Exercise, debate and loads of fresh air. All in the bright afternoon sun. The smell of the forest floor mulch. The green still in the trees. I stood for a moment and felt so happy to be alive. I guess much like Ted really. His adventure was my adventure. Even the chance to put a hand on a tree and tune in to tree energy.
Ted’s doggy senses must have been working overtime. Just as we were on top of the world he was barking in the bottom of the valley.
Had he heard our calls? Or my friend’s whistling? Had Ted sensed that we were determined to find him? We avoided having to climb over the wall to go in the direction of the barks. But only by going back over the path we had just walked. The long way round I guess. Then the phone went. Ted had been captured. Contained by a Good Samaritan. He was down by the river at someone’s house. Delight! Joy! Relief! Off both of us trotted to get the adventure dog. I was pleased for my friend. A happy ending is always the best way to finish a story. When we got there Ted was as cool as a cucumber. Looking all innocent he greeted us both with wags and jumps. Much to the delight of the dog of the house, who felt he was entitled to do the same.
Tonight Ted is safely home. Ted’s stomach brought him to a place of food at just on meal time. Why should we have been worried? Because our animals are our family too. I know I love all my pets as if they are my children. Not because I’m a weird or silly person. But because loving those beings who fill your life with unconditional love is the most wonderful thing to do. I wish that everyone could experience that kind of love. And I know many people who don’t. So they might not understand how much the kindness of strangers meant to two people on a dog hunt this afternoon. How the good wishes, promises to keep an eye out and understanding smiles lifted what could have been a grim task.
Ted’s adventure was an interesting journey for me too. It moved me out of the stressy energy I’ve been battling all week. I reconnected with Mother Earth. And I shared some positive energy with a good friend. Thank you Universe ❤️
One of the things I try to do as often as possible is take a pause. Have a time out. Let myself stop what I’m doing and focus on the moment. It gives me a chance to consider, feel and heal.
I thought about the usefulness of a pause several times today. Doing some Parashiel’s Balmhealing energy sessions I enjoyed that the people relaxed and drifted off. The energy was flowing in very strongly and it was comforting to feel that warm sensation in my hands. I knew that support was coming in from the angelic realms to help the recipients. Yet I also notice how hard we sometimes fight against any sort of support. I often carry on regardless. Long past the point when I should have stopped doing and relaxed into being. Later on I found myself talking to a couple of people who had definitely been doing the same. The message from each body was ‘rest, rest, rest’ but they were still juggling what seemed like a million tasks. Something I could certainly identify with.
So what about a pause? What makes it so difficult for me to take one? As I thought about this I recognised that stopping doing opens me up to noticing me feelings. If I pay attention to what I feel I might also have to consider why I feel that way. And sometimes that takes me back into experiences that I have found hard to handle. These are the parts of me I need to heal. I have to be prepared to release the feelings, thoughts, judgements and regrets of my life so that I can act in my future from a better, more positive place. That’s the healing. The bit where I recognise it is what it is, it was what it was, and there is nothing more to be said or done. The pause will help me to release myself from the interpretation of events that drags me down. And that is worth taking a time out for.
So this is a short blog tonight. I want to spend some time in a pause before I go to bed. It’s time for me to clear away anything that is likely to create a slow or unhappy start to tomorrow. Because tomorrow really is a brand new day.
I don’t know where I went in my dreams last night. But the darkness certainly felt like it was pressing in. I was restless. Keen to get out of the dreams.
Searching for my freedom from something I remember waking up trying to recall a word. I know I said it in my dreams. It seemed to connect them all together. And it also seemed to be the key to setting me free. Free from what I wondered? From my fears came bouncing back at me. Along with another thought. Voiced by someone else. Karma is when you recieve the pain you caused others. Then have to feel it. As well as live it. It took me a little while to get back into balance. Looking back at my life I know there are threads that tie together. Waiting in the darkness of my shadow side are patterns and habits that drive me even when I think I’m making rational choices.
I thought about the delight I felt yesterday when I made my book ‘live’ to be purchased next week. The first copy is winging it’s way to me already. Yet, following the feel of my dreams last night, today has been one of potential setbacks. One stride forward three thousand steps back. But I also realise that the darkness in me is trying it’s best to swamp me. After all, if I do make big changes in my life my Ego Mind has nothing to frighten me with. It won’t be able to keep me small. Does that mean that I will play out endless karma? How can I release myself from what I have created? That’s the reminder I was being given. It’s time to challenge myself to embrace that darkness and show it some light.
Yet I feel I have been doing that for a year. The darkness has been in and around me pulling me back every time the light has pulled me forward.
I know that the resistance from the Ego Mind is at it’s highest at the tipping point when change is only a fraction of a step away. Then there’s the fact that I am catching the energy of the second big wave meant to shift us all forward. September has been heavy with unpredictable energy. Surfacing, clearing and surfacing the fears for me once more. This shift, at it’s peak tomorrow, is all about letting us know that everything that can happen happens somewhere. What that means is that the energy between the parallel worlds is very thin. We get a glimpse down the trouser legs of time, as Terry Pratchett would have put it. I have been experiencing, through my dreams, the me who made different choices.
The exchange of energy has shown me who I would have been, and who I am, in another life. Also who I am with and what I am doing in that series of lives. Because I’m picking up more than one life. So it’s easy for me to get lost or confused about what is actually happening in this life. I know it’s a hard thing to process. I spent a lot of the morning trying to check which life I was in whilst my Ego Mind kicked up a load of fear energy. The point of recognising parallel lives helps me to let go of those fears though. Somewhere, in some life, I am doing all of the things I dream about doing in this life. There are infinite possibilities. So I’m also lucky that I like the way my life is now. And where it’s going. That way the darkness doesn’t suck me into a fear state.
Once this current ‘thin-ness’ between the dimensions passes it will be up to me how much darkness I keep in my life. My dreams also showed me that I can be free. The key to being free is being me. The one driving the choices in this life from my Spirit self, not my Ego Mind. The missing word is authentic. Puzzle solved!
Right now the days are rushing by. I turn around and they are gone. Sitting with my cat tonight I smiled at the way she moves through time. She knows it doesn’t exsist. So she never get stressed.
My cat has taught me a lot. We have regular chats. That’s one of the things I love about being intuitive. I can use my psychic senses to tune in to her thoughts. Mostly her thoughts are ‘feed me’ or ‘sleep’ or ‘hunt’. On one level she is the instinctual animal we all are. But she also has very clear views about the nature of time, in that it doesn’t exsist, and about making sure that she rests enough. Because she says her best ideas come when she is relaxing. I have to say I find some of her conversations really intriguing. Her consciousness connects to other dimensions where most of her life is lived. I guess what she is saying is that she has a Spirit part to her too. One that can cross dimensions and time.
I know that’s why she wants me to understand that time can’t ever rule us. I also understand that she would like all of us to recognise that there is always enough time for everything. So that it’s perfectly ok to spend half a human day dreaming away. Because, as I am sure she would tell you, dreams are where we live too. They are the space where we can try on different lives for a while. Have different experiences. I certainly know when I’ve had a dream adventure. My cat would say I needed to break out of my human habit for a while. There are times when I know she is right about that. What my cat also shares with me is her comfort. She is here to help me find some peace. I know after a hectic day her presence is very soothing.
Right now she is purring gently beside me. Half asleep, she is keeping an eye on me. Making sure that I remove the energy of today before I head off to rest. It’s a precious gift to share my life with someone so devoted to my peace.
My plants have been calling me. Gardening is a low on my priority list at the moment. Today I needed to answer that call. And get myself firmly on the ground again.
It’s been a hectic month. With still one more energy upgrade to come in. I’m waiting for the inner shift that I know will happen when the wave peaks. So I’m trying my best to float along with all of the events. Giving myself time to process what has already happened. And the space to let the opportunities come in. I’m also being realistic about delays. I’ve spent a chunk of the weekend working with a great designer to complete the proofing of my book. Yet it’s been very slow. One solution after another has led to a fresh issue. We have been messaging back and forward. Uploading. Downloading. And uploading once more. It could have been very stressed. Except I wandered into gardening.
What a relief! For me and the plants. Most of the plants are in pots as I only have one flower bed. But they were all asking for a good tidy up. Weeds needed encouraging to go away. Old growth had to be stripped back. The bench needed moving so it could catch the afternoon sun. As I worked away the gnomes were also delighted to see me gardening. They put up with my random forays into their domain. So long as I move things according to their advice. Or do what they consider is necessary. Because they like a bit of wildness in the garden. So I have a corner just for them. And my pots are tidy for me. After spending a quiet but energetic hour gardening I felt much better. My connection to Mother Earth was restored. I could feel the Earth again beneath my feet.
Being intuitive affects my whole life. But I also have to make sure that it’s a balance. Spending time gardening is a form of self-care. To make sure I live in both my worlds – the intuitive and the material. Is it time to make time for your plants?
What an interesting day. It’s been time to start the circle once again. With the surprise that it was much easier than I thought.
I do love how everything falls into place if I let it. If I trust in the flow of energy I surprise myself with the way it all works out. Eleven years ago I went to Colne, a small town in Lancashire, to begin my journey into mediumship. Although I had no interest in being a medium in public I was fascinated by the contact I was haveing with the Spirit people. So I set off on an interesting, frustrating, challenging and life changing journey. I had no idea how much change there would be. So, not too many years later, when I found myself on the platform at Keighley Spiritualist church it was quite a surprise. It’s the oldest Spiritualist church in the UK. The mother church. The place I had said was the top of my mediumship wish list.
This is my last year of public mediumship for a while. My new book is almost here and I am being asked by my Guides to write more books. So how lovely to give the first public reading from my book at the Writers Circle in Colne. And to round off the evening doing the mediumship at Keighley once more. Although I am bringing one area of my work to a close I feel that the new beginning I’m stepping into will start a wonderful new circle of my life. What a surprise to get to here from there. I am excited to see where this next circle will take me to in eleven years. Certainly not where I might think I would be. This time I’m allowing that the circle will contain lots of fresh experiences to surprise, stretch, push and pull me to a new level.
I can see from the completion of this current circle that my life is so much better for my mediumship experiences. So I am letting myself be free to go in whichever direction I’m sent as a writer. And I’m hopeful that I will love reviewing this new circle from that distant viewpoint.
I had a conversation about death today. It might seem slightly odd to start my blog that way, as my life is full of conversations about death. However, this one was about the way that the Spirit approaches death.
Being human is about being born and then dying. The span in between is life. Forgive me for stating the obvious but I feel we often forget that an ending is inevitable. And when our loved ones pass to the Spirit World we are bereft. Because of our love for them. But what about death when there has been a short span of life? Or hardly any living involved? Is it the same as a death when life has been long, full, fulfilled? What does the Spirit inside every one of us think or feel about passing out of this physical body? And can that help us to understand the process of living and dying any better?
Good questions, I thought, when it came up today. So I remembered the discussion I had with my Guides about death. From a Spirit point of view I came into this physical body with agreed start and end dates. I also sorted out the life experiences I wanted to try and a whole range of options to choose from. I did this to make the most of the time I had agreed to spend here. Because I understood that my life as a human was a visit. My consciousness would continue to exsist (and had been there before) long after I, the human, passed away. To the Spirit every life, however brief or long, is an experience that promotes growth. Since each life is different the I that is my Spirit has an opportunity to try all sorts of different things.
So each time I have another death I am really going back to my former, Spirit, life. I’m taking my place back in the eternity of existence that my Spirit experiences.
The I that is the Spirit me hasn’t ended. Instead I have a whole new set of experiences to think about, understand and contribute to the community I live with. Our Group Soul. Those other Spirits who are also busy being born and dying alongside of me. Every person I meet in my human life is part of that greater community. I believe that we have agreed to connect with one another here in a physical existence so that we can all understand what it’s like to live with love that is conditional. And to return to the place where love is unconditional as wiser Spirits who value love more highly than before.
That helps me to understand that death is something my Spirit looks forward to. And no matter how much life I have experienced my Spirit values every single moment. Just as my Spirit values every single moment of life that has been given to all of those other Spirit/Humans who have shared my life. In the end, my Spirit welcomes death as the completion of an adventure. A journey ended. Knowledge obtained and to be taken back to share. I love the idea of returning to contribute experiences and discuss them. To think up new questions to be answered by the next life’s experiences. My Spirit embraces the planning of the new life. Of setting the length of time.
In fact, my Spirit sees dying as a natural move forward. Even if my human me doesn’t quite get that yet. It’s time for me to appreciate that death is just another one of those experiences I came here to try.
I love the muddle of my days. Coincidentally I had space and time to listen when someone needed it. It’s the Universe taking a hand in things.
I looked up the dictionary definition of coincidence – a remarkable concurrence of events without apparent causal connection – to remind myself. Because sometimes what has been planned turns into something quite different. But it turns out to be exactly right. I know that things just seem to happen together in exactly the right way. Yet I often take that rearrangement of my day in my stride. Today however I noticed that coincidentally several people who needed support ended up getting it without me, or them, trying to arrange it. I appreciate the Universe setting up the space at the right time for me to be able to listen. It did involve juggling a few things around. And shifting the priority items around. But it was worth it.
Coincidentally what was discussed echoed themes that are happening in my life right now, or had in the recent past. I also know that the same themes are flowing through other people’s lives too. It’s a time of great changes and life altering decisions. During these times it’s easy to get off balance. To imagine the worst possible outcomes. Or find myself paralysed with indecision. That’s when the Universe seems to take a hand in getting me unstuck. By pointing me at the people who can offer another point of view. Or share a bit of insight. Those people who will support me as I wobble forward and get on with getting myself on solid ground again. To be able to return the favour today was really great.
If it seems, coincidentally, that you get into a conversation with someone who needs a space to work things out do what I do. Listen to what they say. Notice how it resonates with your experiences. Respond with compassion. And remember that help give is always returned.