Monthly Archives: May 2017

Hospital Bed Revisited: Well Done A&E

Posted on by
Reply

Some days turn up side down in moments. Today was my back to work day. But it turned out to be a hospital day instead.

As I sat with my auntie in A & E I couldn’t help remembering the last time she was brought into hospital. Of course when I get to a certain age I expect bits of me will get grumble and need attention. So I know that my auntie may find herself relying on this kind of care more that I would like. She’s been embracing all sorts of physical problems for a lot of years. Aging tends to bring us all to the recognition that our bodies tend to develop physical limitations. I guess I’m glad it’s not limitations of her mind that trouble her. I know it can’t be avoided though and she wasn’t the only elderly person in a cubicle.

It struck me that many independent older people really struggle to accept help. I suspect I might be exactly the same myself. Yet the staff were patient, polite and caring. Even with people waiting in the corridor as the morning picked up pace. Unfortunately there were no free cubicles because there were no hospital beds. The wards were full already. That stood out from the last time we were there. As I sat in the cubicle overnight that time to see if a bed would become free I wrote my blog on paper to type up later. It’s clear to me the pressure hasn’t eased any for these dedicated people. Around 1pm a whole load of juggling began to see if anyone could be moved to side wards or discharged. Not easy decisions to make but the pile up was getting worse.

Once again I thought about the importance of hospital beds. If my auntie ended up needing one it might be another long wait.

I feel it’s too simplistic to argue that we should privatise care, restrict care or divert people to GP surgeries. After all, the earliest appointment she could get to see her own GP was 13 June unless she phoned in at 8am in the morning for an emergency slot. One of the things I know we are really fortunate to have is a health care system that covers everyone for everything. In some other countries this morning’s visit to the hospital would have cost thousands. Money that she doesn’t have. The fact that she could get treated for free was a blessing. So how do we respond to the taking away or slow dismantling of such a system? Should we even be doing that in the first place?

My Guides were sitting with me as I watched my auntie sleep for a while. I understand that she will have to depart for the next life at some time. But I confess that I’d rather keep her here with us as long as possible. How would that happen without the hospital care? I felt an immense gratitude towards those people who are working to make sure that she still has quality of life. We all sat sending out healing to everyone in the department. It must be soul destroying at times for the staff. When they said she could go home I was thankful. But left wondering what the solution was. How to ensure that sick people can get help to be well again? Perhaps the staring point is to help people learn how to stay in energy balance.

Our physical body will fade out. It’s time is limited. But I can help myself avoid putting pressure on the hospital if I focus on my own wellbeing.

Keeping my energy clear and balanced. Letting go of stuckness and seeking positive energy. Listening to the signals of my body and dealing with them as quickly as possible. Using my intuitive healing ability on myself. Asking for the healing support from the Energy Beings who work with me. There are so many ways to achieve wellbeing if I wish to do so. Perhaps I also need to be active in the debate about our health services. I do believe it’s time for more holistic approaches, more listening ear sessions and intuitive connections to what dis-ease is. Instead of the medical model I’d like to suggest the holistic model. Medicine has it’s place in treating illness but there is scope for so much more.

My auntie is home and I’m grateful. She has had large blasts of energy healing and I’m grateful for that too. I appreciate everything the A & E staff did for her. But I recognise it’s time for change. We escaped sitting in the corridor and cubicle for 14 hours this time. Others haven’t been so lucky. Nor are the staff who have to deal with this on a daily basis. Whenever you can please send a positive healing thought to the people in hospital beds, the staff caring for them and the families affected by illness. Finally, if you want to change the system then you have to enter the debate. It’s no good waiting until you need the A & E department!

Day 554 of my blogging challenge 

Making Dedicated Time For Each Other

Posted on by
Reply

This is my third day away from work. A step back from the Spirit World to dedicate time to myself and my loved ones.

I know how easy it to be focused completely on what I do for the Spirit World. Especially as I’ve found my passion for this work. I love what I do so it’s not easy at times to step back. Being dedicated to work is something I know I share with many other people who have found their life’s work. However it comes with a pitfall. A great big trap. I can be so much in the service of others who are strangers that I forget the people I live with. Today I took the opportunity to spend time with my daughter. Away from the topics we often talk about. Because she is fascinated by the Spirit World too. Also away from all of the normal college and education stuff that fills our lives right now.

So we spent our time together planning our summer break and making a list of all the places that would be exciting to visit. I don’t know if we will get to them all. That’s the thing about being dedicated to a cause, a life style or a way of being. The focus can be so narrow that other things fall by the wayside. Yet being dedicated also creates a strong energy that flows through my life. It’s a foundation stone of how I live. I feel that I have to be dedicated to more than one focus point so that I achieve some life-work balance. As in everything about life choices the best way forward is to balance my requirements with those of others. Something my Guides certainly understand and respect. If I haven’t taken time off it’s funny how they will always arrange it for me.

After all, my life is enriched by my connection to my family. So ensuring that I dedicate time to be with them, or by myself, and away from work is the way to give me the best of both worlds. A home life of contentment. And work I am delighted to do.

Day 553 of my blogging challenge 

Visions of the Future: For What Use?

Posted on by
Reply

I’m still on down time. So I’ve been rereading a book about visions. A fictional tale of a seer and oracle. It’s about her life and the ‘gift’ of foretelling.

It’s about a Greek seer, the oracle Cassandra. I read this book long before I became a medium. And certainly long before I understood how it might be possible to read waves of energy that were moving towards me. What fascinates me at the time was the way I was often told that I’d predicted something right. That what I hade said was the way things worked out. Since some of what I had ‘predicted’ wasn’t good news I often tried to say very little when asked for my opinion. The information didn’t come in visions either. It just seemed that in certain circumstances whatever I said came true.

When I started to understand psychic senses, intuition and mediumship I realised that it was possible to predict. But also that understanding what I was predicting was a challenge. As was knowing when what I said might happen – tomorrow or in ten years. There were dreams that seemed like visions. And daydreams too. Vivid scenes connected with strong feelings of events that I somehow knew were meant to happen. But all so confusing. There was never enough information. Having a vision isn’t enough. You have to be able to understand it. And that means interpreting what you get.

That is the problem with visions. Because they are open to interpretation it’s difficult to trust that you have got it right.

I had some long involved discussions with my Guides to try to understand why I had predictive sight. I kept asking what was the point. Especially if the information wasn’t clear enough. I guess like the seer in the book I also felt that reading the leading edge of energy was more of a curse than a gift. It took me ages to work out that I was working with future probables. Some events apparently can’t be changed. They are too distant or remote from my sphere of influence. All I can do is be ready to send healing and positive energy. From one human being to another.

Other events were up close and personal. I could improve the outcome if I was careful to respond from my spiritual side. My intuition would help me to anticipate the events. I could offer the best possible energy to help those situations be resolved in a better way. When I put this into practice I learned something very important. I have free will. So the future isn’t set in concrete. My intuitive psychic senses were there to help me make the best of any and all situations. Even those predicted to be the most challenging. When I finally took this on board I started to embrace my visions.

I wonder now how our world would be if we all embraced our psychic visions. If we applied that foretelling to our lives. And chose to do things a little bit differently. Because we knew it was the way to bring forward a more positive future. It certainly makes me think!

Day 552 of my blogging challenge 

Complete Retreat: A Day For Me

Posted on by
Reply

Yesterday I was glad to complete a spell of being really busy. Both practically and in my spirit work. It seemed perfect timing that I have three days off.

It’s also the case that I have had to complete a lot of unfinished business. Part of the clearing I’ve been doing all year has been to get myself unhooked from old energy. It’s certainly been time to put the past in the past. But doing that requires effort too. Looking back and cutting old energy ties stirs up emotions and memories. To complete that work has taken time and patience. All alongside of continuing to do the things my Guides put in front of me. Balancing serving others with serving myself. Although they are also turning my path in a new direction. Gently easing the letting go of old work with an influx of new work. I have to admit I’m still not sure where I’m headed but I know it’s somewhere.

So today I’ve taken the opportunity for a complete retreat. Stepping back from my phone, social media and all of the usual contact with my Guides. Instead I’ve been in a bubble of silence. Resting. Reading. Letting my mind wander. I’ve been put on pause and I’m glad of the chance to have this time. I’ve been around my home enjoying the feeling of not having to do anything at all. Except feed myself and the cats. To complete my day I’m doing my blog. Not actually because I have to. Although the blogging challenge matters to me. But because I can acknowledge to myself that I need solitude sometimes. I believe we all need some space to rest from the practicalities of life. And much more, we need space to step out of life for a while. I believe that’s when my mind can complete the process of ‘what next’ thinking.

Until I give myself time to myself I’m not letting myself be aware of the process I’m going through. Change can be wearisome. Time for me means I can recharge. Then I’ll be ready for more changes.

Day 551 of my blogging challenge 

Unhappy? Only in Passing Moments

Posted on by
Reply

It’s been another clearing day. What with Reiki and Meditation then a lovely discussion in the Drop In session. Has it been unhappy? No, not at all.

Although I have been clearing out more of my old paperwork and the stuff at the back of the cupboards. In amongst the lovely memories I found things that reminded me of times when I was unhappy. How strange to hang on to sadness like that, I thought. Did I intend when I put them away to keep reminding myself of unhappiness? If so then I’ve failed. The miscellaneous bits of paper, photos and items seemed very distant now. They happened in another life. In my past. And whatever the past I know I can’t change it from here and now.

But it also got me thinking about feeling unhappy. It’s a normal feeling caused for a variety of reasons. Often when my outward world fails to match my inner world in some way. When did I learn to move on from unhappiness? I know there were distinct periods of my life were the pursuit of happiness seemed just than. An endless round of ‘doing’ that never quite filled the sad or empty place inside me. I can recall years of being stuck in misery. Such deep unhappiness that I had no hope or desire for my life. Somehow I had the strength to pull myself through these times.

What shifted that unhappy feeling? So much that it’s now quite a rare thing for me to experience.

As I threw the unhappy memory stuff into a box I realised that I have learned to accept that  unhappiness is the shadow of happiness. Without one I could not experience or understand the other. I’ve discovered that being unhappy passes if I let it. If i acknowledge what I am feeling I can let it go. And I can also try to understand what assumptions were underneath that feeling. Because there is everything I actually require already in my life. Even if I can’t see or touch it. It’s there in the background waiting for me to notice. If I take a good look at my inner world.

I know that this is where my feelings really originate. Not from the outside world or others. But from the choices I make when processing what is happening to me. If I feel content, loved, peaceful and grateful then happiness follows. If I feel upset, deprived, angry, fearful or a victim then unhappiness is what I will get. Not from the causes of the outer world. But from what I choose to inflict on myself. I’ve written many times in my blogs that I have to learn to love myself. My life will only flow positively when I do that. Today as I released those memories I recognised that I don’t require them. I love myself. I am free to choose. So I choose happiness.

Day 550 of my blogging challenge

Time for a Good Memory Tidy Out

Posted on by
Reply

I wonder why I keep so much stuff? Today I found some time to try to have a clear out. Old debit cards, receipts and catalogues soon made a pile on the floor.

I know I have a habit of holding on to things. It’s as if I don’t trust my memory as time passes. Yet how often do I look back at those items? In a box were the bank papers from my mother’s death, the probate papers from my father’s along with some school records for my daughter. Piled in were old business accounts long past the ‘keep for tax purposes’ dates. Some programmes from the theatre. A 2008 magazine from a Spiritualist church. All packed away and never revisited. Certainly time to throw some of them away.

That’s what caught me though. I still feel like there are some items I can’t part with. Why? Thinking about that today as I sifted through the items I felt that some memories still have energy. They still ping for me. The papers for my mum, dad and daughter mostly stayed. The old programmes and magazines went into the recycling pile. Sometimes paper or objects are the closest I can get to the feel of that time. To the memories I want to keep fresh. It’s as if having something physical can help me hold onto that person and that time in my life. Especially when the people involved are no longer around.

I found I couldn’t throw away a card from a dear friend. He hasn’t been in my life for fifteen years. But the memories of the the time we shared are still vivid.

I wondered, as I put the card back in the box, when the time might come to throw it away. Perhaps when he has faded a bit further into the background of my life. Because that’s what happens. We share our time with one another. Then it’s time to move on. Ultimately, death is the great mover on. When I’m gone the stuff in the boxes will have no meaning really. The connections I made will fade genetly away. Except to those closest to me all the events of my life will disappear. I thought how fitting that was really. Life isn’t about great memorials or lasting legacies. It’s about experiences that make memories.

I find that a comforting thought. It means that I can relax and enjoy my life. I don’t have to be someone who leaves their mark. I can get on with doing what I do. It’s possible to be me without any ambition to be ‘someone’. Even this moment of writing this blog will fade. It’s impact will disappear. The thoughts I’ve held in my head today will be tidied away, stored for a while and then released. I will enjoy the memory of sharing tonight’s evening meal outdoors with my daughter for a while. Then that too will fade with time. Perhaps after all what matters is the moment. Is it a good one? It will be in my memory for a longer while if it is. Then other moments will gently replace it. Time to empty more stuff from my memory box!

Day 549 of my blogging challenge 

Speaking the Language of Love & Peace

Posted on by
Reply

It’s been a strange day. I woke up early speaking to someone who wasn’t there. I’d been dreaming about blissful loving energy being placed in my root chakra. I guess I was asking why.

Through my usual kind of day I felt a thread of energy winding it’s way into my consciousness. Speaking to people I found my words seemed to calm and reassure. Violent acts, the fear of aggression or war, wobble root chakra. That’s the energy centre dealing with my basic needs. The place where I feel safe and secure. Or the  place where I feel frightened or abandoned. I felt as if I had been given some extra energy to help me stand steady against the waves of uncertainty and fear created by the bomb blast in Manchester.

And also to help process the waves of grief from that event. I found myself sending out love and healing energy on a constant basis. Fuelled, I feel, by the loving energy I received in my dream. As I was getting ready to go and do a service I felt guided to pick up some tea light candles. I took them with me knowing that with each message I also had to offer a candle. My Guides explained that it was the light of hope. That is what had gone out of my part of the world on Monday. Hope had been dimmed. So speaking for the Spirit people tonight I also had to rekindle hope.

As I worked I also thought about the conversation I had with someone today. It’s easy when grieving or shocked to say harsh words.

Fearful or hate-filled words. It’s a reaction to what has happened. But it is also sending out energy that is the wrong vibration. Angry, violent or abusive comments create more of the same energy. So although it’s really difficult I know it’s important to watch how I am speaking. To consider my words carefully. And to make sure that in honouring my feelings I’m not creating more misery. I know it’s difficult. We all want solutions. Speaking out about what has happened is important. As is trying to prevent it happening again. But in speaking about acts of terrorism or aggression I feel we have to be very careful not to make the situation worse.

Thus I have to find loving and peaceful words with which to discuss and build a solution. Talking about a ‘war’, ‘segregation’, ‘sending people back’ or ‘it’s their fault’ continues the wobble in root chakra. It’s only when I start to talk about forgiveness, understanding and compassion that the best of me can be expressed. If I can speak of hope I can hold the idea that peaceful solutions are possible. Because unless I can dream that vision I have very little chance of manifesting it. Of making it so. The language I use right now is vital. Even in grief I have to find the power of hope so I can create a positive future. The big challenge is for me not just to say it once but for me to keep changing what I say until I express love and peace in all my words.

Day 548 of my blogging challenge 

All Children of the World Need Our Love

Posted on by
Reply

It’s been a very hard day. Children have been the target of violence once again. There was a horrific bombing in Manchester, a place I know well, and so much grief as lives were shattered.

How to respond to the lone killer? What to do? How to stop this violence? Part of me was feeling the futitility of looking for needles in a haystack. Another part of me was connecting to the incoming wave of energy to increase the positive flow. I know that in my shock, disbelief and grief it would be easy to say that whoever killed the children was the worst kind of human. I would hope that if I had the power to launch missiles I would refuse. Because there are so many back stories to this tragedy. This is a massive failure of love. Lives lost because of division, hate and justifications of morally reprehensible actions.

What do I mean? As I processed the events in Manchester I thought about all of the children who are on the planet right now. Across the world children suffer on a daily basis whilst the adults around them wage war in one another. Sometimes a war of words. Often a war of economics. Certainly a war of violent bombing and sudden death. Even a war of sexual abuse. I feel we have ignored these wars in our own communities to our cost. The person radicalised to make this attack, whatever their religion, birthplace, culture, was manipulated by a victim psychology. When I refuse to listen to the stories of others I am part of that victimisation. If I refuse to address the inequality and hate others suffer I am part of that victimisation.

Hate is such an easy emotion to share. Based in fear, all sorts of fears, hate can be dished out to anyone and everyone who I mark out as different. Hate creates the backdrop against which someone drives themselves to kill.

Every bomber was a child once. It might be simplistic to say that but it’s true. I don’t believe that children are born evil. I believe that our experiences and the people who surround us shape our futures. There are always choices. But if you have been in the middle of a war zone for so long that it has become normal your choices might be very different than those of a child who has been safe. A war zone doesn’t have to be actual bombs and bullets. Words can create a war zone inside a child’s head. Adults preaching them and us, blaming certain sections of the community or remembering the injustices of many years gone by. These are hooks to hang hate on.

So alongside the people who were killed and injured yesterday evening, and the many events before that, I also want to place all of those children who have died. It is perhaps my greatest grief. That we do so little for so many defenceless, vulnerable future adults. They are our future. The seeds of last night were sown a long time ago. And until we start to accept that we will continue to experience violence as the last resort of the oppressed. This is nothing as simple as saying the violence belongs to one group, one faith system, one country or one gang. That all we have to do is eradicate that group, faith, country, gang. The very act of blitzing one group will create more martyrs to new causes.

What about the children then? How can I ever bring an end to the cycle of viloelnce? Something must change.

What I feel has to change is our response. It’s time to listen to the stories of all those who feel dispossessed, alienated and victimised. Compassion and love have to enter into this process. I believe we have to face our liking for division. It gives us something to blame when life goes badly. Then I know we have to put aside our focus on differences and start to acknowledge our sameness. The hardest part will be finding love. Strong, powerful love that says ‘not in my name’. The kind of love that refuses to strike back indescriminately at everyone and everything. A love that reminds us that we too can overcome hatred. Because we love ourselves enough to see that it’s the only way forward.

I know it’s also time to respect and cherish each and every child in the world. To offer children our protection, support and encouragement. I’m the adult who is responsible for creating a better, safer world for the children in it. It’s important that I remember that so I can do everything possible to challenge hate. Words aren’t enough. I have to put into action my promise to the children being born. It’s time for all of us to end their suffering. To stand as grown ups and demand change so that children’s rights are respected. To ensure that our elected representatives are working to put our children first. Respect for the basic rights of children must become our first call. These children are the future. With love and hope they can end the hate. But we have to do it first.

There are families grieving all over world today. There are parents who are holding their children a little bit closer. Tragedies unite us. Surely it’s time to be united in love for all children before the next tragedy has a chance to strike.

Day 547 of my blogging challenge 

Walking Towards Wellbeing: ArchAngel Help

Posted on by
Reply

It’s funny how themes pop up in life. I was writing some information about wellbeing today and ArchAngel Parashiel stepped in. Since he’s usually around when healing is required I paused.

Of course my Guides and Inspirers have been talking about the energy waves we have all been experienceing since last September. They have spoken to me about the shift due from 24th May to 10th June. And they have made sure it has been mentioned in my Letters From The Light Side videos too. What they want is to help me understand what  the shift represents. As well as how to deal with it. ArchAngel Parashiel is part of that story. He is the Earth’s Guardian angel responsible for all of the healing done here. It’s his task to guide us to wellbeing and away from dis-ease. That’s quite a job at the moment. Because, as he explained today, we are still focused on physical symptoms of energetic stuckness.

I have been discussing my own energy with him for a long time. Learning how to balance what I give and receive. Also ensuring I’m letting go of my stuck energy from earlier times in my life. Parashiel has also been working with me to teach me his forms of energy healing. That has required me to meet my inner energy issues head on. In my journey towards wellbeing I have asked to work with those who are serious about healing themselves. Knowing that anyone who chooses to do that is opting for action over words. I’ve been very happy to move people off the treatment couch into their new lives. In return I have been able to make progress on myself too.

So why did he step in today? What aspect of wellbeing was up for discussion?

The next bout of energy is a bit like a dose of chemotherapy. It’s a cocktail of different types of energy designed to bring the rubbish to the surface so I can release it. So the next couple of weeks are going to be a bit turbulent. I’ve been asked to take care of my own personal energy. To rest when I need to. Letting negativity pass me by whenever I’m near it. And to stay away from the dramas of others. A bit like being in quarantine apparently. I will need to do that so I can release all of my stuckness about who I am and why I’m here. There will also be time for me to really appreciate myself. To embrace all that I am. And let judgements about myself go.

I know that learning to love myself is tough. There is so much to strip away so I can see my own strength and ability. These are what I can offer to share with others. My wellbeing is me being myself. Whole. Complete. Balanced. That’s how each of us must be to move forward. Our authentic self. This journey will take some people longer than others. But each step is a positive if we allow ourselves to keep walking. Parashiel is there with his loving support to push us to keep going. I know I need help to stay focused on being well. It’s almost too tempting to say I’m stuck with things as they are. Yet until I take action for myself my life will drift along with more of the same.

So even if the energy waves are intense I’m going to make the most of them. I have Parashiel at my side with his healing Balm. Wellbeing is my goal. It’s time for action!

Day 546 of my blogging challenge

You can receive a healing wave from Parashiel through the video here on YouTube

Why Bother? Nothing Changes. Ever!

Posted on by
Reply

One of the things I often talk about is why I bother. In discussions about life it’s easy to tell myself I don’t care. Yet I know I do.

I’m sure I signed up to come here for the chocolate. Perhaps the alcohol too. Even some of the people who have been in my life. But I’m certain I didn’t sign up for struggles or challenges. At least I tell myself I didn’t. I have to admit that at times I’ve certainly adopted a ‘why bother’ approach to my life. Especially when I’ve felt that no one is listening. Or helping. And nothing is changing. The interesting thing about that attitude is that it gives me permission to moan about my life without actually requiring me to do anything about it. That’s convenient. I can blame the outer world for being crap without ever having to think about my inner world.

Of course that’s not necessarily a helpful way to live my life. Not bothering can keep me very stuck. And miserable. Because I do care. Deep inside I want life to be happy and full of interest. I thought about this today when I was doing healings. It came to mind because the people I was working with quite clearly wanted their lives to change. They didn’t want to be stuck any more. Whatever barriers were there they wanted to remove them so that they could bother about their lives again. I noticed that all of them were ready to do inner work to make that happen. And it reminded me that when I get involved in changing myself my outer world changes too.

That point came up again later. I watched people on TV say they would not bother to register to vote. Their reason? Nothing changes.

I felt once again that this is a short sighted way of dealing with our world. A vote is my voice. It’s my chance to say I care enough about my outer world that I will make sure I express myself. I’m saying I do want to bother. Even if the result is that nothing appears to change on the surface. Underneath I am telling myself that I matter. I’m even giving myself encouragement to make my voice heard again and again. In the end maybe I’ll even feel bothered enough to stand for elections. Or work to bring about a different voting system. I know my good friend Cathy has been bothered enough to take that step. She recognised that our voices are valuable. They need to be expressed.

It also reminded me that I’ve been through plenty of human lives. No doubt I’ll be bounced back in again after this one. Why bother, you may ask. What is the point of life after life if nothing changes? That’s where I feel it’s really important to care. If I keep changing for the better life after life one time I might not have to come back. Ever. My work will be over. In the end I realise that the changes might happen very slowly. I watched An Inspector Calls, a play by J B Priestly, tonight with my daughter. It’s set in 1912. Yet so many of the issues raised in the play are still with us in 2017. Women have a vote, if they choose to use it, but not a voice. Certainly not equal pay or opportunity or respect.

That’s a good reason to bother. Creating an equal society happens when all of us bother. When we care enough to use the ways we have to say it like it is. And to press for change if nothing changes. Please care enough to be the change.

Day 545 of my blogging challenge