Monthly Archives: February 2015

Is Death the End?

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IMG_0186 As a medium I’m often asked to prove that life goes on after physical death. But what proof can I offer? I have many, many conversations about the contact I have with my Spirit Guides & the other beings who step forward to give me information. A lot of those conversations take the form of messages in readings or spiritual churches & centres. The rule of thumb is to give ‘evidence’ that life continues after physical death; that our loved ones are still there; and, that they wish to talk to us. Some would argue that ‘evidence’ is not proof beyond a reasonable doubt. Yet I never feel it’s my task to prove anything to anyone.

I have always been an open minded sceptic. Around about 9 years old I started to question the religion I was brought up in. By 13 I knew it had little to offer me – mainly because I didn’t want to be either of the female role models it offered me as life choices. Although I remember on one occasion listening to an old style ‘hell fire & damnation’ preacher tell us we were all going straight to hell unless we believed & supported our church. The fear I was supposed to feel didn’t happen. I think at that point in my life hell sounded a lot more attractive than heaven because what you had to do to get in there was all the stuff normal teenagers want to do anyway! So my thoughts about an afterlife were mostly to hope that there wasn’t one except if it was going to be more broad minded than my religion. 

Throughout my 20’s & 30’s I searched across religions for something that I could feel gave me a sense of the afterlife. In those years I did a lot of past life work & experienced for myself some interesting events that hinted much more at the continuance of a non physical part of me even past my death. Yet at the same time my analytical brain refused to join in with my searching heart to agree there was evidence of the afterlife. I returned again & again to psychology, psychiatry & plenty of vox pop sources which were definite that life after death was a comfort blanket for a mind not ready to accept that this was all the life we get.

I was at war. My thoughts vs my feelings. I really had a yearning to believe. Yet the logical part of me refused. And everything remained unresolved despite my own experience of touching heaven in my late 30’s. However, I’m nothing if not fair so in my 40’s I started to let my feelings lead me in discovering if there could ever be evidence that there was somewhere/when that we progressed to after out body was no longer fit for purpose. As always this became a philosophical project! I read & read & read everything that crossed my path about views concerning the afterlife. It’s amazing how much has been written through out the ages to try to explain the spark that makes us more than a clay overcoat – the bit that is greater than impulses, hormones, patterning of behaviour. The spark that seems to go away when the physical body just stops working.

And the range of explanations about what happens to that spark is vast too. Not just religious explanations but scientific, philosophical & cultural explanations. After what seems to have been years of following the intellectual path for understanding I started to experience a sense of connection. Connection to what & how & why became my next puzzle. That is when I followed my feelings at last, gave up on the mind as the way to explain & began experiencing with a fully open mind as to what it all might mean.

I feel we all end up following this process eventually. Perhaps it is because I’m in the second half of my life. Perhaps it’s because I’m a parent. Perhaps it’s because what I was feeling seemed to come from completely outside my range of previous experiences. But I could sense other beings – see, hear, feel the touch or emotions of, smell & taste. And most perplexing of all, I just knew. The feeling of ‘knowing’ it wasn’t me is so hard to pin down & easily dismissed yet it continued to happen that thoughts, feelings, information that were not mine regularly appeared within my mind.

What to make of this? This was personal experience that couldn’t be dismissed. I wasn’t trying to fool myself for any reason. Nor was I vulnerable & needing to believe in any way. Over a long period of contact with my Spirit Guides I have come to accept what I have experienced as valid evidence for me that we don’t die. It’s not intended to prove anything to me. Rather it is an experience I choose to enjoy & trust. My loved ones are really around me all the time & I find that awe inspiring. So I work now to speak out the evidence for others. Not as proof positive but as a prompt to ask each person to challenge what they believe in a positive way. To ask everyone to expand their view of life & be open to the idea that we might not have the full picture & need to remain curious. If anything, when I am asked to ‘prove’ there is an afterlife I would ask that proof be provided that there isn’t. 

Love is the only energy

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IMG_1095Over the next few days the hype about Valentine’s Day (Feb 14th) will be even more frantic. Suggestions in advertising, the media & from others will be about buying, sending, giving & receiving love tokens from each other. If you don’t get them it must mean you are unloved. If you do get them you must be the most blessed with love. Yet how many people make an effort, spend a lot of money, do a lot of ‘romantic’ gestures without feeling love for themselves. Or feel this is the only way to convince someone that they love them. Yet Love is the eternal energy that we most misunderstand, muddle up & feel is lacking in our lives.

I am frequently asked to predict about someone’s love life. When will they get the perfect person to share their life with? When will the person they love end up loving them back? Who should they choose? Why are the alone? These questions come from that part of ourself that seeks for a connection to another. A connection so strong & powerful that it’s like a constant energy flowing through & uplifting our life. When we have it we sometimes fail to recognise it; when we have lost it we sometimes despair that we will ever find it again; and, when we don’t want to look at ourselves we often obsess about the love we feel for another.

So this energy we call Love is often hard for us to understand, feel or be joyful about. Yet as the connective energy between all Spirits it’s not something we can ignore. All the questions I am asked seem to come down to an intuitive acknowledgement within each of us that our Spirit lives in love but our human personality limits the amount of Love we will give or receive. That is why there are so many channelled messages & teachings concerning the nature of Love as expressed through being a human being. We call it unconditional Love to identify that so often we place restrictions on the amount of Love that is available. How many times have you thought “I really love you but … if only … could you just …”? How many times have you said it? Said it to yourself or another?

Even more so the Love for an intimate partner becomes ‘conditional’ as every minor flaw, quirk or habit becomes an irritant if it isn’t altered at our suggestion. Or if that partner grows & changes in a way we are uncomfortable with. Or we grow apart & not together. I hear so many people asking when their partner will change or stop something they are doing. Behind the questions there is a dissatisfaction with the person they have picked to share their life with. This eats away at trust, love, togetherness. Yet there is no reason for this to happen.

What we don’t seem to have grasped is that the energy of Love flows through every person. Every one of us is Love. It’s that simple. We are all Love. And to find & experience that Love we have to start by recognising that we Love ourself first. How often do you tell yourself ‘I love you’? How often do you remind yourself that you are a unique, wonderful being full of Love? Because it is true – to love anyone else you have to love yourself first. Let the Love energy shine in your aura & you will find yourself surrounded by other people who know they are Love. As you see your own Love energy you will start to see it in other people too. That way you can find the person who is the right Love for you.

Don’t look at the potential of a person – if, from your point of view,they have to change to be suitable partners you are heading for disappointment as they are very unlikely to change themselves & neither are you. People change hardly if at all for anyone else. Since we all have some level of healing energy it’s tempting to imagine it’s Love when we are really rescuing, healing, giving an energy hand out or an energy hand up. So be brave enough to acknowledge that compassionate Love is unlikely to be returned as lover Love. Love means seeing your needs, hopes, desires for yourself (self-love) flowing out towards others who see & Love themselves clearly. When that Love energy connects with a person who has the same needs, hopes, desires for themselves you will have found ‘True’ Love with each other.

Celebrate true Love. If you have found it, it is extremely precious and to be remembered every day. Out of Love flows more Love so share it with everyone you connect with. This Valentine’s Day the greatest gift you can give is not measured in time, money or effort but in how much you can Love yourself.