A Human Transitions Back To Spirit

I traveled out to Bacup today to take a church service. My job is to relay the messages from those who no longer live in a human body. They have made the biggest change of all. Back into Spirit.

It’s a job I’ve done for a long time. I often think I’ve covered everything there is to know about death and the Afterlife. Yet every now and then the Spirit World reminds me of the amazing process that transition can be. In the move from being human to being Spirit again how much love and compassion there is. Because today there were some lovely examples of the continuation of our exsistance and one very wonderful message of hope. I’ve written before about my evidence based mediumship. I want the person getting the message to feel or sense the presence of their Spirit loved one. That is greatly helped by factual information that I can be given that I would be unable to get in any other way.

During the messages this afternoon there was plenty of fact passed on through me. Confirmations that someone other than me was present. But to get that sense of presence  I also want the messages to be relevant to the listener. Loved ones come back to help. To give us a positive boost. To get us laughing and even hopeful again. I know they can’t take away the grief of their leaving. But they certainly want to remind us that they haven’t gone for good. So sometimes it’s also important to explain how they made the transition to the Afterlife. Giving information about their death or what happened afterwards helps to confirm that they have crossed over successfully. It sets minds at rest on this human side of life.

It’s also true that in the Afterlife they keep their human personality. That way when they message us we can recognise them. But they have returned to their true Spirit self as well.

Today I saw both aspects of that transition. There was a message from a very recently passed Spirit who came in his human self to ask that his family be reassured that he is safe with loved ones in Spirit. He told who collected him and helped him cross. He also asked that his loved ones here be supported in their grief. And he provided comfort to others by showing that loved ones survive that great transition. Now matter how challenging it may appear to be to us. From our human perspective. Along side him and helping him was another Spirit known to some of the congregation. The second Spirit explained that the energy around the first one required a booster. The second Spirit was the boost.

Although both Spirits were complete strangers to one another they shared a common link with people in the church. Much to the delight of those who it mattered to both Spirits had joined forces to bring in their messages of love. Especially the second Spirit. This one came as a pure Spirit being. One who had been human but was now through the completed transition process and fully back connected to the Afterlife. One who could let the human personality go and move on to do the work required in the Afterlife. My Guides tell me there is always a great sense of achievement when a Spirit completely lets go of their need to be human any longer. Because it is a new beginning. A fresh start. I know my Mum made that transition in order to be one of my Guides. That doesn’t mean I’ve lost her human side. She can pick it back up again if she has to.

However, I also get the benefit of the unconditional love she radiates as a Spirit. That helps me so much. Human aspect or Spirit aspect, our loved ones have made a tremendous change. One we have to make. But one that, when it comes, will be a joyful new beginning for our Spirit.

Day 580 of my blogging challenge 

Healer, Teacher, Beggar, Queen: A Life

I’ve been out and about today. It was time to be a teacher again and present a Past Lives workshop with a fab group in Darwen, Lancashire. It was a great day.

Since past lives have fascinated me for forty years I love the opportunity to share what I know with people. As I uncovered my own past lives I started to see the patterns of karmic energy that I had woven into this life too. In fact being a teacher is a key ability that I’ve carried with me through many lives. Not always successfully of course. But working life after life to get better at sharing my knowledge and experiences in the best way for others.  That goes for all the other things I teach. My workshops come from my heart connection to those past lives where I experienced first hand what I teach about now.

I find it interesting to be experienced in something I haven’t actually done in this life. But with access to my past life records it seems I have all sorts of information I can share. This happenes with more than just my teacher lives. I have a number of healing lives that help me work as a healer today. Whether with energy medicine or talking therapies. Even life mentoring includes an element of past life healing work. Then there are the beggar lives and queen lives that still dog me in this one. I float between lack and excess as I work to balance the karma from both those kind of lives. In between is an abundant life that I’m striving to live now so that I end the wobbly balancing act. As I tackle lack and excess on one theme another one is waiting to pick me up again.

That’s what I love about being the teacher. Explaining to myself why I’ve got into these karmic cycles and figuring the way out of them.

Though I did point out to the group today that working out the karmic bigger picture was really difficult as I am in it and living it. So in the end I am still only trying to do my best. Seeing if it all worked out ok will come when I go back to the Spirit World and take a look at my life plan. I will be able to see if my free will choices kept me on track for where I wanted to go. Or not. Then I suspect I will sit down with everyone and work out the fine details of my next life. Life and karma agree. What goes around comes around. Getting the chance to teach in this life has helped me share that vital point with many people. And to help them make better choices too.

Of course I don’t escape doing past life work either when I’m teaching. I couldn’t sleep last night. I was restless. All sorts of stray, random thoughts kept coming to mind. This morning my body ached. But I recognised those aches. They belong to another life. A life that has been holding me back for a little while now. Leading the group through a meditation to release karmic consequences let me focus on releasing my stuck past life energy too. The teacher gets a reward for teaching. As I drove home I thought about all of the releasing that had happened. Brining the stories to the surface, acknowledging the patterns in this life and understanding why those lives continue to affect us. That give me and others a positive choice for our future experiences. They can be handled in a different way.

I’m grateful to be a teacher. I love my subject – life, the Universe and everything. I can’t wait for the next chance to share my experience and wisdom with others. Here’s to many more workshops!

Day 579 of my blogging challenge 

Old Feelings Rising To The Surface

Yesterday I wrote about wobbles. The natural result of feelings coming to the surface. As I got into bed last night I realised that I had been feeling scared. Only I had no idea why.

That set me off on a little journey today. Trying to work out what, if anything, I had in my life that I was scared of. Although I thought about it for a while I still felt that this feeling was a bit random. It had come to the surface of my thoughts so I wanted to pay it some attention. Yet I felt stuck with identifying what it really was. I know that I can release my feelings easily once I decide to do so. But this had me a bit stumped. An important step was giving myself the time to think it through. But I knew I also had to go into the feeling itself to see if I could place it better.

I decided to sit quietly in my healing room and meditate for a short while. Taking those few moments I allowed the feeling to surface more fully. I could sense that the fear was around my self-esteem. Somewhere in my life some energy had got stuck. Perhaps I’d been unable to express this fear to anyone. Or the situation, whatever it was, meant that I locked the feeling away behind a closed door in my mind. It may have been that whoever else was involved had more powerful energy than me. As I slowly peeled back the layer of energy it seems that it was something very early in my life. Coming to the surface was something I had no thoughts about. Because it was in the time before I thought.

Children start to develop the ability to think around the age of seven. Before that they feel more than think. Under the surface of their conversations they are processing with their emotions instead of their minds.

Tracking down what inspired a fear becomes much more of a challenge when reaching back into childhood. However the meditation allowed me to be in the feeling. I could surface it enough to recognise that I was scared of being in the spotlight. It made sense. I have mixed feelings about being a public medium. I love making the connections to pass on messages. That feeling of being of service to others. But I also want to have a private life with my own opinions and views. This ambivalence comes straight from that fear. As a child I remember being told lots of things that made me feel I was pushing myself forward. And ‘good’ children don’t do that.

As I surfaced from my meditation I felt much more positive about that fear. Because I knew I could let it go. It doesn’t fit as a part of me any more. That’s the great thing about the energy that is around at the moment. I’m being helped to free myself from restrictions that I might not even know I’m applying to myself. I’m looking forward to the New Moon to help my fear on it’s way in the process of being transformed. That’s the key to the new me. Letting myself find and remove any stuckness. Transforming my life bit by bit. Through transforming me. I love this process. It’s bringing the best of me to the surface. That really is exciting. I wonder how I’ll turn out?

Day 578 of my blogging challenge 

Self-Belief: Wobble, Balance, Wobble

I’ve had a day off today. Almost. I had a live broadcast to do. Strange when I think how much that made me wobble. So much that I almost didn’t get started.

I’ve been doing live videos on Facebook once a week for over three months now. It took ages for me to step forward and start to do them. I had one wobble after another. My Guides kept reassuring me that I would do ok. They kept reminding me that I would reach people who could benefit from what I had to pass on. In the end I sat down one day and did it. Feeling unsteady all the way through. But getting it done anyway. I was remembering that feeling again today as I sat down to broadcast.

No matter how much self-belief I have I know that from time to time I will wobble again. It happened again yesterday when I had to launch a new subscription email for the work connected with the broadcasts. And it will probably happen again next week when I sit down on Monday and Wednesday to record my first podcasts. Although my Guides have been kindly reminding me that it will all go ok I am still stepping out of a comfort zone. Because I’m releasing restrictions. Bringing on the wobble for myself. Pushing myself to try new things.

The wobble I bring on myself seems far more terrifying that any wobble that life can bring me. That’s because my self induced wobbles are me challenging my own self-belief.

I feel confident that if the world throws anything at me somehow I will sort it out, get through it, survive it. These wobbles might make me feel a little out of balance. But they don’t tend to end up with me on the floor wondering if I’ll ever get up again. The ones that come from inside tend to emerge from the dark places. From my deepest fears. Aiming right at my confidence and self-esteem. There is a part of me that still believes in ‘I can’t’, ‘I’m useless’, ‘I don’t deserve’. It’s a part that is shrinking. Something I definitely want to be rid of. I’m making great strides to stay balanced as much as possible.

Self-belief is like walking a tightrope. At any moment I could fall off. Except that I am learning how to be calm, free and relaxed about the wobble. I’m accepting it will happen every time I step further out of my comfort zone. So I’m giving myself permission to have the wobbles. And the permission to be balanced. I’m also treating that tightrope as something which is getting more substantial. Thicker and stronger. Capable of bearing more of my foot. Supporting me as I move across it.

That’s the secret with a wobble. Reminding myself that it’s a natural part of removing my limitations and restrictions. Being certain that my balance will keep me upright. That I can do new things whenever I want. And enjoy it.

Day 577 of my blogging challenge 

Saying Hello: Dawn On The Longest Day

This morning I got up at 4am. It’s Summer Solstice. The longest day. I wanted to watch the sunrise as we move into the energy influence of ArchAngel Etieliel.

Of course I wasn’t the only one up and about in the pre-dawn. All over the country people were posting their Solstice Blessings to my Facebook newsfeed. And when I did my live broadcast there were some people online watching for the sunrise with me. Needless to say it was a cloudy morning. Not a chance of catching a glimpse of the sun as it rose. But that didn’t put me off. I carried on with my broadcast because Etieliel, the leader of the Earth’s Guardian angels, wanted to bring in the light of love for the longest time on this longest of days.

As I stood with him I also felt the presence of Divine Feminine energy. I felt wrapped in a warm, strong love. My eye was taking in all of the beauty around me. Birds were calling making a musical backdrop to the lapping water where I stood. I was reminded that we all have a core strength. A gift of intent that keeps us going when all else fails. I felt a deep appreciation of my willpower. Of the way I somehow survive whatever is thrown at me. Even those things that I have created to challenge myself. I thought about the way in which we bend but never quite break.

For the longest time I thought I was weak. And useless. Because I struggled to achieve what I thought I should.

This morning as I blended with nature once more I felt relieved of that burden. The need to achieve has tripped me up a lot. I feel it trips all of us up far to much. It makes change the longest process going because we struggle to let go of things we can’t achieve. Not recognising that moving on to things we can achieve easily is the better option. When I look at what I thought I ought to do I see that I was driven for the wrong reasons. I wasn’t loving myself enough to work towards the things I do really well. The love pouring into our world this morning helped me to focus on what I do well.

I drove home with a renewed sense of myself. And what I’m good at. Magically, as if a gift to say well done, I caught site of a deer at the side of the road. It was standing in a garden area looking at me. I know we have deer around the hillsides but they don’t come close to people very often. It waited whilst I stopped the car and looked at it properly. Then it moved away back into the tree line. What is often hidden has been revealed. My abilities can benefit the people who require them. So no more hiding in a deep forest. I carried on home laughing to myself about the way messages get put across.

For the longest time I have held myself back from accepting positive feedback. Stuck with trying to achieve positive feedback for stuff that I’ve lost my passion for. Now I’m ready to shine my light in the way that suits me. Because on the longest day I know I am loved.

Day 576 of my blogging challenge 

Purposeful: Moving Forward With Intent

Am I purposeful? Showing determination or resolve? Is my intention strong enough? These questions popped up for me today as I looked at my To Do list.

It’s the one I shoved on one side yesterday because it was too hot. I’d returned to my desk this morning ready to pick up what I’d left yesterday. But as I checked the list I thought about that sense of being purposeful. I do lots of things in my working ‘week’ but I sometimes forget to ask if what I’m doing has a purpose. And I feel that’s a theme that came out of the mentoring I did with clients today too. Often the people I work with have reached a point where they feel lost. The driving force, or purpose, of what they are doing has disappeared. They have become stuck. And often frustrated in that stuckness.

I know that feeling very well. It seems to me that we human beings survive better when we have a goal, focus or purpose. Not to have one leaves us at the mercy of the flow of life. So we create meaning and movement to our lives by setting intentions. Or you could call it building dreams. I also know that when we get to the point of the dreams coming true we quickly ask ‘what’s next’. This purposeful expecting and achieving pushes me forward. I remember times when I was so determined to make my dreams happen that I overspent my time and effort to make it so. Then I had to rest and find another purpose.

So being purposeful can be helpful yet it can also be my downfall. Pushing myself too hard can end up with me not able to enjoy my newly achieved dream.

It’s all a matter of balance. And also finding pleasure in those times when there is an absence of purpose. Being able to switch between purposeful action and creative imagining. Bringing my focus in to this moment or this day. Finding a purpose in what I am doing right now. The bigger picture will emerge if I let it. I’ve also found that there is a point at which I have to reconsider my activities. I might have started them with a very clear aim. Yet are they still necessary to my dreams.? What am I still doing that no longer fits with where I’m headed? Is it time to stop doing some things? Certainly a good prompt was me looking at that To Do list. Because it shrank as I thought about each item.

That’s a good thing. I was able to focus my attention on what will carry me forward. On those things that will show the Universe I’m serious about the dreams I want to achieve. Too many times I’ve defeated my own wishes by putting my attention onto those things that contradict what I really desire. Getting lost in the things I feel I ought to be doing. Not the things I can do to move forward. Being purposeful about something is the signal for progress. It also shows that I am ready to receive all that I’ve asked for. Because I have accepted that it fits where I’m headed to. Even if I don’t know quite where that is yet. And I’ve also accepted that I deserve my own good fortune.

My life is full of purpose. I would say it’s purposeful. Only it’s not yet possible for me to see the ‘big’ purpose to it all. And that’s ok. I can wait for the bigger picture to emerge. In the meantime I will focus and dream in equal measure. How about you? Can you do that too?

Day 575 of my blogging challenge 

Words Count: What We Say Matters

It’s Monday. It’s hot. I’m looking at all the To Do’s I have. How best to make my time count? Can I give myself permission to take my day a bit slower than usual?

That was my though as I got up this morning. I was debating what time to start work and how much work I could leave to one side. Could I count on catching myself up later in the day? My ego mind was definitely at odds with my intuition. My feelings were shouting out really loud that I had to slow down and take things easy. Yet my mind wanted to tell me off for being lazy. For not doing enough. And for being uncommitted to what I was hoping to achieve. I realised it was time to take firm contol of my inner words. After all, what good is doing loads of work if what I produce is a bit below par. Better to sort out those things I could do well and let the rest wait until it’s cooler.

Decision made I started to think about the words I had been using. Then I turned on the TV. With great sadness I watched a news report about another attack on innocent people. This one outside a mosque in Finsbury, London. It seemed one man had driven a large van into a crowd of people who had been around in the street. It was being described as a terrorist attack. I wondered what words had been in the driver’s mind to inspire him to take such dreadful action. What was he thinking? Also what was he feeling? I asked myself what words had got tangled up in his mind that produced this dreadful action. It’s the same question I asked of the bomber in Manchester and the people in the van on London Bridge.

How had any of these people become comfortable with the idea that causing death and injury was ok?

Words do count. How I express my feelings, thoughts, opinions and judgements makes a difference. If I express myself in divisive terms then I am promoting division. If I talk in compassionate ways then I am stressing similarity. Lodged in the minds of each of these people must be words that promote harm. Because otherwise they wouldn’t have done what they did. Words that have twisted respect for all life into a belief that some lives don’t matter. I know that we may never discover those words or who said them. But I also know that we have to understand very clearly that what we say in any circumstance or situation does count.

That’s why I was deeply disappointed to go on my Facebook feed and read arguments about today’s incident in Findsbury. It has been called a terrorist offence and I believe that is quite correct. It was a use of unlawful violence and intimidation for political aims. The intention was to terrorise people. To make them live in fear. Yet some people were determined to call it something different. Attempted murder. Or anything that absolved the person who did it from some sort of public condemnation. Because this was a white man attacking Muslims. And some people seemed to be blind to the horror that this provoked. Underneath, in the words being used, was a sense of tit for tat that I found distressing.

I also noticed that there was far less in my newsfeed of people sending healing and prayers. These words and intentions count.

They show that we care about everyone equally. Because sending healing is a recognition that we are all part of the human race and all deserving of equal care. So excuses for the person who did this and less help for those who suffered. What am I to take from that? Is it right that underneath but very close to the surface there are words of hate? Feelings of revenge or payback? What words are we actually using inside ourselves that sneak out unnoticed in the pile of words we use to give our opinion of these events? I keep saying that to live a spiritual life I have to walk the talk. My words have power. So they have to be good and positive words.

However, until I address the cruel, hatefilled or judgemental words inside me my efforts won’t count. It’s not about suppressing my words. But by owning what I say inside and considering if it’s what I would be brave enough to say outside. Bringing those words out into the light and recognising what I truly feel. I know that a lot of people argue that political correctness has gone mad. But if I have those hate filled words inside me eventually they will escape and be said. They may even drive me to actions I never thought I would do. And there is an even greater risk. That I will teach those words to others. They may be the ones who act on what I say.

For whatever reason today’s perpetrator acted on the words inside his head. Who influenced him and why matters. If only so that this chain of hatred can be broken. Think carefully about the words you use. One day they could come back to haunt you.

Day 574 of my blogging challenge 

Australia Calling! Across the Miles in Moments

This morning I had an online call to my friend in Australia. We were able to chat and catch up with news. It got me thinking about modern technology.

It’s now so easy for me to be in communication with people all around the world. Many of my readings are done online. I keep in touch with family and friends near and far with my phone and its online apps. How easy it is to check in with one another. Or to reach Australia without waiting weeks for the ship or plane to deliver the letter. Yet it’s something I almost take for granted now. Back in the day, when I was young, I had a pen pal in Kansas, USA. We exchanged regular letters but it might be a few weeks before I got the next one. I felt like I was venturing out into the world even if I stayed in my own bedroom. I used to imagine what is was like for her. Now I call online with my phone any time I want to speak to my American friends.

Australia, America, Spain, Malta, Hong Kong, Peru. The world has certainly shrunk as far as communications are concerned. The internet and mobile phone technology has made it so much easier. But I wonder if we have changed our mindset yet? I feel we still think of these places as far away. It makes it easier to ignore what might be happening in other far away places. Unless, of course, it’s happening to one of my family or friends. Our global news is compressed into little soundbites – like 140 character tweets – added in after our national and local events. But we are all human. So do we need to know more about what is happening? Should I catch up with events in Australia too? In the age of global economics I certainly have a reason to.

Not only are our communications global. Our finances are too. What happens in Australia may have a knock on effect in the UK.

I learned a lot about Kansas from my friend. I told her lots about my life in the UK. It seemed that we both had similar experiences and life dreams. She talked about the vast fields of wheat. I talked about the cotton mills. She wanted to go to college. I wanted to go to university. Both of us knew this might be a challenge because of our family income and the fact that we were girls. I learned how similar we were despite our different homelands. Her country produced a space program which changed the technology in our world. And produced a space race because, apparently, who holds which bit of land is important. There are ‘resources’ to be had. Poor Mother Moon!

Even without the internet our lives were linked in all sorts of ways. MY physical location didn’t matter. Nor did hers. So now that we have almost instant communication has it made anything better? I have to say that I love keeping in touch with Australia at the click of a mouse. Or a finger touch to a phone screen. Staying connected means that I can share my news to someone more easily. I can be there in times of need when being physically present is impossible. And I can be the listening ear, loving support or sounding board when someone needs it. Sharing the news of their lives I can remind myself that there is more that unites us than ever divides us. A sentiment that is much in the news at the moment with the first anniversary of the death of Jo Cox MP. Global issues hit home globally.

Of course, working with Energy Beings I have another form of instant communication. I can call the Afterlife as well as Australia.

The connections we have to non-physical beings are hard wired into our bodies. I can switch them on whenever I want to have a catch up. And the one thing they are always keen to remind me is that human beings are all the same under the skin. Even if only a few of us are using our intuitive technology at the moment it will spread. I remember mobile phones the size of bricks. They were very limited. But look at what they can do now. The worlds is open to me if I wish to explore. So too with my psychic senses. I can connect with Australia as easily as all of the non-physical energy places that surround us. The hope is that everyone will eventually use their intuitive energy senses to connect and communicate.

I know that when we do we will slide past the differences and discover that what holds us together is love. Always love. When this becomes our first thought, our realisation, I know we will strive to turn the world around. Humanity will become that global tribe that we are already partially experiencing through physical technology. It’s such a great hope. And a great dream. But I want to help it to come into being. That’s the point of my blog today. I knew my friend would benefit from a call. And I knew I would too. I sensed it in the energy between us. The Earth is still a big place and I can’t offer or receive a physical hug so easily. Yet I can still send and receive the love online. How wonderful to be in a time when that energy hug can be sensed and felt through our clairsentience.

I encourage everyone to explore their energy connections. They are faster, more effective and especially more loving than physical technology can ever be. Australia, Russia, Brazil. Everywhere and everyone is wishing reach now. It’s time for that global shift!

Day 573 of my blogging challenge

Motherhood: Can Our Adult Children Speak Their Pain?

I’ve been discussing motherhood with my Guides over the last week or two. Driven by the recognition that I am now the mother of an adult not a child.

It’s a strange rite of passage for both of us. One that my mother and her mother and her mother went through in their time. How strange that I feel I have to include those who mother in all sorts of other ways. And fathers too. But I can only address this from my personal point of view. Years ago they handed me the child I had grown in my womb and left me to get on with it. Well I got on with it. There was no other option. Surprisingly I found myself receiving so many moments of pure joy. As well as becoming prey to a whole new set of fears and judgements. In me and from others. However I learned and accommodated all of these into my own style of mothering. Motherhood turned out to be something I felt I could be good enough at.

So long as I withstood my inner urge to tell myself I’d got it all wrong. As well as the social pressure to tell me it was all my responsibility. In effect my fault. For anything related to my child. As the years passed I settled into my stride growing more confident with being a mother. I encouraged my child to tell me about her life, feelings and thoughts. I sheltered and defended my child. It was also necessary to remind my child how beautiful and talented she was. Then things started to shift. It seemed to be my challenge to push my child out of our nest and into the wider world. Motherhood became about independence, free will and negotiation. Big themes for big changes.

I feel that’s when motherhood shifted into a new phase. I was having to step back from my role of carer. What would emerge as my relationship shifted to being alongside another adult?

Now I understand why my Mother (now in Spirit but guiding me) laughed and talked about payback. Because my soon to be teenager didn’t always agree with me. Or want what I wanted. Nor did she feel that rules were necessary. Like all of us at that stage she found ways to rebel. Perhaps not big outward rebellions. But quiet, stubborn positions to hold. She also started to have her own secrets. As well as her own judgements about my mothering of her. Her feelings disappeared behind a wall that I couldn’t climb. So I respected her privacy. I talked to myself about how I needed to change in response. I revisited motherhood as an idea. Calling for my Mum I asked for guidance. Finally I learned to tell myself ‘it’s just a phase’.

Eventually I got tot the point of knowing I had to connect with her as an adult not my child. That’s when this particular rite of passage began. Because she needed to tell me things about my mothering that she didn’t agree with. I remember thinking to myself as a teenager that if I became a mother there were things I definitely wouldn’t do. Things my Mum had done to me. Actions that I judged were harsh or cruel. Yet I did the same things to my daughter. Because I understood that those actions came out of love. It was important that I teach her boundaries, about how to live alongside others and how to care for herself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

I never told my Mum how much I appreciated those things I’d kicked against. I never shared my growing pains so she could explain and help me understand.

But I also wonder if she wasn’t ready to hear what I had to say either. An important part of seeing my child as an adult has been making room for her to tell me how she thinks I got motherhood wrong. Where she feels I’ve failed her. Letting her speak her blame. And yes, I could talk about the difficulty of balancing so much judgement and doubt within me. I could say I love you over and over. The temptation not to have that discussion is very strong. Perhaps there is a need in me to feel like a perfect mother in response to all of the years of responsibility and worry? Yet if I accept she is an adult I have to make room for her point of view. There has to be space for her to say she is angry with me, hates me, never wants to see me again. I have to bear both the love and rejection she may feel.

These are all her choices. And I can’t hold on to her as my child. I have to hold onto her as my adult daughter. With a life and concerns of her own. Hoping that she will have a good life. Being optimistic that she, in her turn, will understand when she becomes a mother. My Guides have helped me see that underneath everything there is always love. Pain is the response to love being conditional. However painful this transition I undertook to do it as part of being a mother. It’s the path I took with my mother. So I can embrace my love for my daughter knowing that any pain is momentary. Below it will always be love. It’s time to let her be an adult in her own right. And time for me to love the person she has become. Whether I agree with her thoughts, feelings and choices or not.

After all, if I have done some good things in her life she will be able to share her pain, criticisms and judgements of me with me. Not silently letting them eat away at her heart creating bitterness and distance. I love her and wish her well.

Day 572 of our blogging challenge

Listening Goes Both Ways For Everyone

It’s been a full-on day at the Centre. Lots of listening and discussion. Sharing opinions, sorting out information and arriving at conclusions. We all need to talk. And we all need to listen too.

Especially when there is uncertainty, anger, grief or fear. I know that we chatter away beautifully when we are feeling positive. There is laughter perhaps. Compliments fly from person to person. The discussion feels good. However I also know that when we are troubled conversation can be difficult. If we can speak at all. One of the reasons I have a Drop In at the Centre is so that people can find a listening ear in times that are challenging. By this I mean active listening. Not being ready to jump in, ignore what’s said and put my own point of view. Letting the person know that I hear what they say and respect it. Otherwise it’s not really a conversation or discussion. Instead it suggests that I don’t care to hear the other person.

Active listening acknowledges that the speaker has a voice. It is a way I can show respect for that person. And it can bring us to a closer understanding if both of us pay attention to what is being said.

In a way what I’m setting out are the rules for successful communication. They apply as much to all the people physically on the planet and those Energy Beings who wish to help us. I have found it a real support to be able to share my concerns or point of view with my Guides. Their listening and responding has helped me make sense of so much in my life. So it should be simple to practice active listening. Yet it seems to be a skill we are lacking at the moment. I find that people are so busy wanting to talk about their opinions that they ignore what other people say. Or close the conversation down as soon as it moves away from what they have decided is true. Sometimes the conversation never even gets started.

There were several instances of this today. Not least in the aftermath of the Grenfell Tower fire. Listening seemed to be in short supply.

Residents had been raising concerns for many years. Now the people affected by the fire are being extremely vocal because they feel it shouldn’t have happened. They have decided to raise their voices. But will there be any active listening now? Or will the conversation be closed down by those who should be paying careful attention to what is being said. I haven’t heard anyone in any authority in the council concerned expressing apologies for failing to listen to residents in the past. Perhaps the conversation is being blocked by the fear of saying too much. Sometimes the lawyers step in to close down comment in case there is a legal case to answer. But that doesn’t help those who feel voiceless. It only confirms they are.

And what about when we talk to one another? Do I make my point at all costs. Even if it means you don’t get to make yours? I’m very used to this. Many people tell me their view of mediumship, especially the point about it not being real, then close the conversation when I want to reply. They stop listening. Or switch topic. They turn to what they want to talk about, I feel we really have to practice being able to listen to one another. I’ve enjoyed a great discussion in the group I run about spirituality. Each person payed attention to what others said. Questions flowed. Information was exchanged. Some things were agreed on. Others weren’t. There was a peaceful exchange of ideas. Listening in action.

I hope that we can improve our listening skills rapidly. All of us can do it really easily by letting the other person speak until they have finished. Then acknowledging what has been said. And sticking with the topic. Even if it’s a hard one. Or one one which we might have to agree to disagreed. Finally when we all agree that we have been heard we might agree to change the world.

Day 571 of my blogging challenge